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Ok so I have been trying to follow the secret and LOA for the last couple of weeks now and man do i feel better. However I still have moments where I just cry! Even if its with happiness. Now it could be hormones as I have a 11 week old! But then I get annoyed with myself for crying! I have so many things to be grateful for. A great Hubby, a perfect healthy little boy who sleeps through the night already! Great mother in law, great aunts. But my Mum is ill with dementia and I miss her. But I try to think positive and just get upset? any tips?

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congratulations on your little babe. of course you are going to cry. your hormones are still buggering you around!! be gentle on yourself. it's ok to cry. tears are healing I believe. Better than screaming and killing people. go easy on yourself and be kind to you! Hey, you've just given birth you clever girl.

oh and I forgot to add, that I'm really sorry about your mom. It's horrible. My mom died a few years ago and I miss her horribly, and now with your new baby you're going to miss your mom even more, but as you make friends here and there, you'll be ok. At least your mom is not suffering, so be grateful if you can. I wish you strength.:) love jasmin
Why do you think crying is so wrong? When my baby was born, a few hours after I just burst into tears. I think part of it was hormones and part was sheer happiness. 11 weeks is very early days so I wouldn't be surprised if you are hormonal, don't underestimate the power of those hormones!

I was brought up to believe theres something wrong with crying but theres nothing wrong with it! Its like a release, whether its cos you are happy or sad! If you feel like crying then cry, theres more harm in holding it in!
Since having a baby, I cry over the smallest thing, good or bad. Having a baby does something to you I think!

It sounds like you have a lot to be thankful for but if you are crying because you feel bad, don't ignore this either. It could be post natal depression so if it continues, speak to your health visitor or doctor. My best friend had this after she had her baby and she got help early and recovered very quickly.
You are being too hard on yourself I think. You have just had a baby. That is a huge life changing experience, I'm amazed you had time to read a book! I think you are doing so well to even try changing your thoughts at the moment.

I think I have a lot to be thankful for too but that doesn't stop me having my down days too. Its quite normal. You have only just read this book and as I have discovered, it takes practice to change.

I'm sorry to hear about your mum. I used to nurse people with dementia and I always thought it seemed so much harder on the families than the person it was happening to. I'm sure you must miss her and that won't help your mood. Can you visit her? I know its not the same as she's probably not the person you know, but it still might help.

take care
Thank you both so much for your responses. I think I am too hard on myself a lot! I need to just accept that no one in the world feels positive ALL the time!! You are both right I am going to let myself cry whether happy or sad! Although people tell you your life will change when you have a little one, you just never realise till they arrive. He is truely a blessing. I love him so much.
Yes I think I feel like I have lost my Mum even though she is here she is not the person I knew. I love her so much and hope that she will pass in peace with as much dignity as possible. I think when you ahve children you realise how wonderful your Mum was! thank you both again....you have really helped me "get real" hope we can be friends on here!
hormones! you gotta love them!
Compassion and forgiveness are powerful friends when you feel isolated or alone. Often we can feel like we are alone because we aren't good enough, not deserving enough of happiness. It's one of the hidden feelings that we push away because we're told to be brave and have courage when we fell afraid.

Staying positive and be something of a chore when there are perhaps other issues which you might need to address.

I've started a new discussion in the Gratitude Group of which I am also a member. Here's the URL to that post. If you'd like to drop over and read it there might be something there that helps you gain a better understanding of why you feel as you do. Here's the URL.

thank you Marvin.... I can't get your link to work. can you post it again?
Not all tears are negative. Sometimes tears can be a blessing, a way of releasing emotion. We all experience these emotions. I can shed tears just watching a parade pass by! Not all emotions are bad and not all tears are from sadness. For whatever reason we shed tears, see it as a release of whatever emotion we are 'overflowing' with at the time. The danger comes when we do no release the emotion and we hang on to the negative aspects of it. Allow your tears to wash the negativity out of you and then dry your eyes and smile and focus on your positive intention. Life is good.
thank you very much. I think I am a very "overflowing" person. When I look at my baby boy I cry but don't always realise it is because I am bursting with love for him!
its an amazing feeling isn't it?! I could cry every day looking at my 16 month old. I tell you, it gets better every day too!

I just realised you live in London.........thats why you are feeling bad about the tears! I too live in the UK of the stiff upper lip! No showing of emotion here he he he he he! Saying that, I think things are getting better. People are getting softer.
"I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you." Oprah Winfrey O Magazine, September 2002.

Well I totally agree with Oprah, and I couldn't find better words for you than hers! Let the Universe guide you, every thing is perfect, believe in God's perfection, trust!!!!

Just a comment on the crying section (and congratulations on your healthy son) as I too find it "wrong" to cry and to show emotion. I believed somewhere, and some time ago, that crying (for me, not other people--which is odd) is a sign of weakness. I've been told it's a cleansing, that it releases past hurts, ills, stresses, etc. Something to try (I should too, but I haven't yet) when you are crying and mentally thinking that you are weak, that you're crazy, that there is something wrong with you, etc. question the voice. Who taught you? Who told you? Why did you believe them? Is it true that crying is weak? Is it true that crying is a sign of being ungrateful? Is crying a sign that you are crazy because you can't figure out the purpose or reason for crying? Is it true? And if so---do you know it's true or is the voice in your head answering again? :)

Okay, another note: with your mother--focus on her health and enjoy knowing she is healthy. Just a suggestion, you don't have to do anything I mentioned, and I hope I have not caused any offense.

Sometimes this can happen when you first start using The Secret and LOA.  It can create a switchback effect in your emotions, but really what this is, is that your mind has doubts about your new thoughts.  You are sending it new data and thoughts, but it had become so used to your previous down thoughts, that it thinks " Oh heck, I don't like this.  This is change.  This is different to what I'm used to.  Best doubt this.  Best go back to what it was. "  And this is why you get the up and down feelings.  But if you carry on with gentle persistence, your new thoughts and emotions will win out, and your feeling point will improve and stay that way.

When you are feeling down, it's like a football team which is off-form: it's a case of lose, lose, lose, lose, lose and so on.  When you change your feelings, sometimes they go up and sometimes they go down, and sometimes they stay neutral, so it's like a football team which is inconsistent.  It goes win, lose, win, draw, draw, lose, win, win, lose, draw, lose, draw, win, win and so on.  When you have mastered your thoughts and feelings, it's like a football team which is really on-form: win, win, win, win, win all the time.


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