I want to manifest lots of money too. and I do a lot of rampages of abundance. I also buy a weekly Lotto ticket as it is the best way I can imagine money coming into my life. I love that Lotto money is frreely given by people who love money and want to manifest wealth. I feel the vibration of it is better and easier for me to feel than 'earned' money which feels a little too much like hard work (and thats personal because many people dont find earning difficult).
I dont limit the Universe, I say "i would love to win the lottery, but this way or something better that I cannot yet imagine". Because I can imagine the joy of winning the Lottery, but I cannot imagine all the other ways that money can come to me and so I leave that all up to the infinite wisdom of the Universe.
I use to imagine a lump sum say 10 million and like you say, I would then try to imagine giving sums of money to all my friends and relatives but that always brought up fears for me that someone might feel left out or badly done by. So then I decided that I would like to be a Philantropist, an anonymous giver. I would achieve this by keeping my winnings a secret and then enjoy the process of listening to my friends and family and learning what it is they want and secretly finding ways to surprise them with gifts or anonymous gifts. That gives me more pleasure when thinking about the whole process of becoming abundant. It's all about the 'feel good 'factor.
So when you find resistence to your 'story', invent a new story, one that makes you feel great about your future abundance.
I have the same belief as you that if I "earned" a lot of money I wouldnt have to share it but if I won it somehow I believed I would have to share it. A story I sometimes explore to help me with this is to imagine winning 10 million and keeping it quiet, then buying a small business and telling all my friends that I have just opened my own business, let some time pass and tell them you are doing better and better financially. Then you are in a position to help anyone you want to help but dont have that feeling that because you won it you have to share it. I imagined opening a 'wellness centre but not taking clients. In my wellness centre there would be a jacuzzi and every day I would 'go to work" in my wellness centre and simply spend some time in the jacuzzi and then return home all relaxed. and say "i had a good day at work today !
The story makes me laugh and smile on the inside and makes receiveing a large sum of money much easier to deal with !!!
So can you find a story that helps you to feel at ease with asking for and receiving a large sum of money like a Lotto win?
Also when asking the Universe to let you win the lotto, I have found that it is best to stop seeing it as a game, where the odds are huge to win, and simply see it as you cooperating with the Universe by buying a ticket, knowing that if the Uiniverse sees little resistence to that channel you have opened the way by buying regular tickets.
I sometimes say, I am on the winners list. I see that someone wins every couple of weeks, so there are 'winners' and contributors. I see myself on the winners list so it is just a matter of time before I get my winnings. I look on all the other millions of people as contributors or as Abraham Hicks says "cooperative components"
these are fun games but help to release blocks. I hope you have fun with them too !
Well winning the lottery is one thing, but I have a friend who always talks about the positives that she would do if she won, but the sad thing is that she doesn't actually buy a lottery ticket. So you would have to play the lottery and work on feelings of being a winner, and winning. It isn't actually as easy to win the lottery as to get large sums of money coming to you in other ways. You see one of the things that hampers people the most is that they decide how things must show up - rather than leaving that to the universe. For example, they will think they want a lover, and that he must come in on a white horse - and that rarely happens nowadays. However if they were to focus on the type of relationship they wanted, how they would feel, how others would receive them then however their relationship showed up isn't important - its the actual relationship showing up.
You can instead look at how much fun you could have with the money if it did show up. Looking at money though as being a "responsibility" is perhaps how you are limiting yourself and tying it down from coming to you. Likewise "deserving". Abraham said to one person one time "Do you deserve to breathe" and what he meant by that was that their idea of deserving was what was blocking them. They breathed whether they felt they deserved to or not, however when they were making fun of that person it was to illustrate that point.
The thing to do is to get wise to your blocks and then start asking yourself questions about them. So in your case do rich people deserve money? Is that really true? What do rich people do that's different to you with money? Do rich people see lack or fear spending? Do you? etc etc etc.