A question for ex drug addicts etc

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Permalink Reply by Clariska on July 5, 2009 at 6:12pm

Congratulations on making a decision to quit. You are doing something really wonderful for yourself and those around you. When it comes to serious alcohol dependency, my father at one point had it bad (as well as other family members) and my brother was (and still on and off) is addicted to drugs. And at one point I was on the verge of it as well, but my drug of choice were cigarettes. I think (and it may not resonate with you) that drugs/alcohol are a way to suppress and hide away or run from a lot of issues you have going on. And long story short, you learn to deal with those issues by turning to addictive substances. And after you stop, all these issues are still there. When you were drunk or high, you simply didn't notice what was there all along and now that you're sober, it's right there in your face.

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Permalink Reply by Hooked on Sparkles on July 6, 2009 at 12:03am

I haven't quit drugs or booze, so I can't really speak from that experience. But Clarice really has a good thought about this -- that the alcohol and so on gives you a way to cope with the issues, and when you get rid of the substance, the issues are there, and probably seem more powerful because what used to happen was that the ISSUE was the substance abuse itself.

I encourage you to find friends (as you are here) who understand what this is all about and they can share with you their experiences.

Hang in there -- and perhaps you may need to get some extra help for the relationship situation, because with the stress of that, you might find yourself with a real desire to go back to the bottle.

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Permalink Reply by Me on July 6, 2009 at 9:51am

Well well done for your current amazing 23 days!!!! Fantastic.

Yes, drugs indeed attempt to block out the unhappiness in our lives so when the substance is taken away, it can be scary to see our reality. I'm currently doing therapy for an addiction so would highly recommend to do therapy alongside the detox if you are already not doing so. I've tried so many times to just go cold turkey, but failed each time (even if I was "good" for a few months). Alcohol or any addictive substance is not the problem, rather the negative thinking which results in an ugly manifestation of behaviour.

Best of luck :-)

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Permalink Reply by Awesome on July 6, 2009 at 10:16am

Hi Freddie, yes on both accounts and I will be the first to tell you it is going to get worse before it gets better. But moreso because of your own inability to control your own world without the drugs or booze. Probably for the first time in a long time you are going to have to "see" things for what they really are and the people around you, and you have to try and take this part the right way, they too are learning to be with you in your right state of mind. You have to give them time too, they too are trying to control the anger that they had inside for a long time. They too, are trying to learn to live with you differently. You may find them saying things out loud that you may even find offensive, like, well it took you long enough, or what about what I did for you when you were under the influence. And although they stood by you through it all, even they are learning to live life differently without the influence. You see Freddie, living under the influence does not only affect you, it has and will always affect everyone around you so learning to live above influence is a learning experience not only for you but for everyone around you. But I promise you this, although the journey may be difficult, in the long run, you will be better for it, your family will be better for it and your life will reflect the changes in a positive way.

It just took something very serious to bring about the change and your wife, bless her heart, is dealing with the changes too, give both of you the love and effort this relationship deserves.

Pat yourself on the back love, you have come along way without having that crap inside you. I know it will probably get harder before it gets better - be strong, stay focused and know that this change in your life is for your GOOD!

Namaste,
Awesome

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Permalink Reply by Freddie on July 6, 2009 at 3:05pm

thanks for all your tips ! :)

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