I don't intend to spread negativity, I believe LOA works 100% no exception, but isn't this supposed to be just easy and fun? Everytime I want to settle with a simple "way of living" where I feel good and I think "Oh this is going to be unbreakable the manifestation has to show up anyway" I EVENTUALLY get into a hole where my positive thoughts don't work anymore, and I have to find another way, and so on (forgetting about everything/practicing certain thoughts of having it/etc) I've been getting glimpses of my desires for the last year or so (in every area) and I'm so annoyed and dejected at why none of the things I've asked for have shown up, but it's no surprise, I CANNOT BE constant in my alignment, no matter how positive I try to keep myself. If anything, I feel things are getting worse in some areas while I'm a deluded lil mofo thinking "Ooh everything is fine" while it's just getting worse. How? How? What am I supposed to do? Bear with me, I stopped believing in Santa Claus at frickin' 15 years old and I've been a chill person my entire life, how is it being so hard even for a person like me?
“I'm so annoyed and dejected at why none of the things I've asked for have shown up.”
You feel annoyed as guidance from your Inner Being that they do not agree with your thoughts. You are focused on what you don’t want (and judging it as not good enough), while they are focused on what you do want. And the discrepancy between those two perspectives is indicated by you feeling annoyed.
Also, that lets you know you have been basing your emotions on the conditions, when your emotions only come from the thoughts you think. When you’re unconditionally satisfied, when you focus on feeling better no matter what, because you care about how you feel more than you care about the manifestation, then you don’t care if what you want shows up because you have what you really want.
That last paragraph resonates with something my inner voice is telling me these days, I gotta give up all my control and find reasons to feel good regardless of manifestations... and that means every single thought related to my desires, because apparently I'm still trying to make it happen. Today I stumbled upon a video from Abraham called "Your only battle is against yourself" without even looking for it, and it talks about how good feeling thoughts about manifestations come on their own, we don't force them. I will relax for a week and just forget about everything, after that I will only pay attention to my good feeling thoughts when they come effortlessly, I will not push any thought anymore unless it's unrelated to my desire. I officially give up ALL control. I give up. It has to be. It must be. It is law.
“I gotta give up all my control and find reasons to feel good regardless of manifestations.”
You’re not giving up control, you’re just redirecting its focus. You’re giving up controlling conditions to be the way you want so you can feel good (i.e. ulterior motive). And you’re picking up the control you’ve always had, but never fully utilized until now, of controlling what you think about and only focusing on what feels fun, easy and satisfying.
You cannot control conditions and your emotions at the same time—so pick one.
Exactly Brian, I meant my control of conditions. The only thing I can do is enjoy my life outside of my desires, that's the only option I have left. Thinking of my desires and feeling good about them hasn't worked out, and even when I do it just to feel good I get into this loophole where I eventually depend on them to feel good. I believe I can manage to feel good about other stuff like when I was a kid.
In reading your post is very obvious why you get into a hole, you are focused on the negatives, likely even subconsciously. You appear to have some issue that you have not dealt with, let go of, etc.. which actually may be unrelated to your desires. This other tape running in the back ground has never been dealt with/purged, etc.. so it keeps resurfacing.
You do not seem at peace with your life. In order to be in constant alignment, you have to be at peace with who you are, where you are, what you have, and in some ways not really wanting anything. You at least have to be detached to what you are trying to manifest. You want whatever it is, yes, but you can't be hyper focused on the desire because that sets up a resistance to what you want (you start doubting that it will appear). Vicious cycle here.
What is really the issue? Is there something bothering you about your life that you have never dealt with? Are you around people that are negative? Job isn't right? Salary doesn't pay the bills? Make a list of all the things that you are unhappy with in your life, map out why you are unhappy with these things (some might be obvious like job salary doesn't meet all the bills every month, and then make another list of the possible solutions to all these issues. The job salary might be as easy as asking the boss for a raise, taking on a side-gig, or more difficult like finding a completely different job. It might be discovering that you don't even like doing what you do for a living. bonus!
If that seems overwhelming, you can start small by writing down one or two things you are grateful for each day. Then as you continue to do that, start taking stock of your life and see what can be improved.
I truly have no reason to feel unlucky or miserable in the sense that I have a decent paying job, great workplace, security, home, etc. so I will not cry about any "relevant" things. I obviously haven't given up and never will as I know I will be making a decision anyway. It's just one of those days that makes me feel as if all this hope/faith/reaching for good feeling thoughts have been for nothing. Evidently there is something I'm doing wrong (or I'm somehow focusing on the absence of what I want) cause I insist, this should be easy and fun. I just haven't figured it out, though something in my head tells me to stop trying AT ALL, to just let it happen.
Change is exactly what change cannot change .
Change never changes..... nor could change ever change.... lest change changing into an-other which negates change from ever existing.... which .... oops..... also negates an-other as change never existed to change into an- other.
If change changed Existence, Existence could never Exist in the first place for change to change Existence.
Truth and Truth Alone Be True .
Perfection, Wholeness Is The One & Only Existence !
This is a bit too complex for me to understand lol