Anxiety is a solution to the problem of focusing on what you don’t want. Believing that you will disappoint yourself or others by underperforming. Afraid of giving a bad presentation and lose out on opportunities (i.e. promotion, money or good grades). It represents the belief you won’t meet a standard. You want to meet that standard, because you seek approval, so you can get your emotional and physical needs met. You willingly hand over your power to others’ perception of you. Their opinion can’t decrease your value, but you can use their opinion to decrease your perception of your value, which creates anxiety.
Stop asking (with your attention) Law of Attraction to bring you more reasons to believe your fear is justified. It’s valid, but ultimately unfounded when you know you’re literally making it all up. When you feel powerless, you’re using your power to attract circumstances to make it appear you are powerless. The irony being, you can only feel powerless, if you hold the power.
When you feel insecure, you feel more secure, more confident, that you’ll be judged, rather than accepted. Shunned, rather than supported. Insecure in getting what you do want, is confidence things will happen the way you don’t want. Worrying is believing you’ll receive what you don’t want. And lo and behold! Look what happens. You receive what you don’t want, which justifies you feeling worried.
Anxiety can also be overwhelmed. You feel more is demanded of you than you can deliver. You don’t have enough time and/or know-how to accomplish something, which can cause you to seize up and not do anything. But you think you need to do something, to make sure everyone is taken care of. The splitting energy of not wanting to disappoint, but believing you need to move forward despite being confused, causes an internal struggle that rips you apart from the inside out.
“I suffer from panic attacks.”
Suffer implies being powerless, which you only feel when you don’t know why it happens.
Panic attacks are the result of thinking thoughts about what you don’t want long enough, Law of Attraction builds momentum, to where the current is so strong you can’t buck it. It’s the culmination of receiving consistent guidance, which you ignored, until it reached a boiling point. You want to notice when you’re deviating into negative emotion in the early stages, so you can do something about it. This will reinforce your empowerment, and prevent a panic attack from ever happening, because you cut off its fuel supply.
You know when your mind is racing and can’t get it to stop? It’s not your fault. It’s Law of Attraction. Good to know. It’s a law of nature. Like a snowball rolling downhill that gets bigger and faster, don’t wait until the momentum is already underway, before trying to do the impossible of stopping it without being crushed.
A panic attack is built from believing your stability comes from outside of you. You founded your strength on quicksand, so no matter what you do, you’re always sinking. You don’t feel you can let up off the gas for even a second, for if you do, you will drown. You’re constantly struggling to keep your head above water, just so you can breathe, and that is why everything seems more difficult than it was ever intended to be. You struggle to get out, but the struggle (pushing against where you are) is what keeps you in, like with quicksand.
It’s believing you’re not supported. You think you’re here alone and everything is up to you if you want something done. That puts way too much pressure on you to perform perfection at all times, until you snap under the weight of holding the entire world on your shoulders. You believe if you fail, people you care about will experience what they don’t want, and then receive scenarios in your mind that make you freak out. The cyclical perpetuation of not knowing anxiety’s purpose, which inspires you to push against it, in a failed attempt to get rid of it, is why you feel you suffer from it. You’re trying to control it in a way that doesn’t work, so when you fail, you feel powerless.
“I want to make videos to help people, but I work best one-on-one. I’m great in person, but in front of a camera, I feel nervous.”
A video’s the same thing. You’re talking directly to one person who’s watching it. You are just maximizing a more efficient way of doing one-on-ones. From your perspective, you have one session, but in reality, you just did thousands. Videos allow you the freedom to connect your clarity with many hearts, you wouldn’t be capable of doing otherwise. It is a very empowering tool to assist those you normally wouldn’t have the time or ability to.
“I feel anxious before I perform on stage and sing.”
Make it between you and the music, and not you and the people. The people is where you can get wonky, because you don’t want their rejection. But when you make it about your connection to the sounds, beats, rhythm and lyrics, and why that fills you with so much joy and passion, then you sing your heart out with no concern for the outcome, which will bring out your best performance.
“I’ve noticed I play my best when I focus on having fun vs playing perfectly.”
Change your definition. Having fun is playing perfectly. They’re not separate. They’re one in the same.
“I’ve had a lifelong anxiety disorder.”
You’ve had a second-long anxiety story, that you’ve retold millions of times to make it seem lifelong. You’re not thinking too much; you’re thinking too much of what you don’t want. If you thought a lot about what you do want, you’d feel better.
You allow yourself to feel more confident, when you give up the antiquated notion anxiety is the bad guy, when in fact it’s your ally. You don’t need to try to be confident. Anxiety amicably switches places with confidence, as you switch dissatisfying thoughts for better-feeling ones. Confidence is automatic when you see the value and appreciation of anxiety.
It’s not about getting rid of anxiety, it’s learning how to work with it. Because it’s just doing it’s job. You asked your emotions to let you know when you are aligned with what you want. And when you’re not, that’s where negative emotions, such as anxiety, come in. You don’t want to get mad at them for doing the job you asked them to do, which is enhancing your ability to live the life you want.
See anxiety as a friend. When you see anxiety’s value—of assisting you with shifting your thoughts to what you want—you thank it, and it goes away, for a job well done.
For further guidance, I do coaching calls and e-mails. For more info, see my Profile Page.
Wow wow thank you so much!!
You are very welcome, Dorothy :).
Very helpful once again Brian ;) Thank you :D
I will apply this as i have not surfed for nearly 6 months. Always coming up with excuses due to my anxiety. Yet, also with my partner going to his gigs, not getting up and taking photos like i want to, why? Anxiety.
Just awesome Brian ;D
I get this in theory however have to admit I struggle in implementing this in one particular area more often than others. It's at work. I know I'm in the wrong place (both in terms of industry and functional area) and have been putting efforts into moving to a role that's better suited for me.
It's proving to be a lengthy process as my education, skills, and long-term experience is based on this particular functional area and industry (Marketing, Telecom). And is significantly limited by the fact that my financial obligations are stopping me from accepting a pay cut (which i'll have to accept if I'm looking to make a career change). Add to that the fact that I don't know what I want to do in life. What am I gonna like doing better than this, if not love? I simply don't know.
In order to make sure I don't get myself and the people i care about into financial hardship, the best option at this point seems to just grit my teeth for another 3 to 5 years and THEN make the career change. Meanwhile try and find what I'm interested in/good at/will enjoy doing atleast more than what I'm doing right now.
So I was doing just that but trouble comes when I get pressured to perform better at work. example - i hate working with numbers and am not too fond of (or an expert at) creating powerpoint presentations. And yet i get asked to deliver multiple 'decks' (uggh!) based on crucial insights gathered from analyzing huge amounts of data (numbers) within a very short time.
That sends me to panic mode straight and even though I meditate and self-soothe myself a lot, I can clearly see that I fail or am going to fail and the stress just gets worse.
I tell myself no to be too afraid of the worst possible outcome (getting fired) as that's not the end of life, infact can be a blessing in disguise. But it just doesn't work as I know how much depends on the pay and how I don't really have a lot of options due to my limited skills and lack of network (i recently moved to a country on the other side of the globe from where i was born and raised and worked for 13 years).
What I'm trying to get across is, I understand the ways to stop the momentum and get myself back up on the positive track when the reason for fear/anxiety/panic is imagined. However, when the reason is as real as this (you can't produce quality work=> you're fired from this role=> likely won't find or hold down a job with similar pay as you lack the skills=> you and your family will end up in serious financial hardship), how do i tackle it? I can see that no amount of anxiety acceptance will help me produce the quality of work that's expected of me here. How do i handle that?
“I don't know what I want to do in life.”
That’s the great part: You don’t need to know. Source knows what you want to do, and your only work is to allow Source’s clarity to come to you.
“The best option at this point . . .”
The best option you can think of, comes from a resistant line of thinking.
Think of it this way. Let’s say you have a sucky option, an okay option, a really good option, and a great option. When you have resistance, you block off the latter two options, and all you can think of is the first two. When you feel anxiety, your awareness of your options are limited to a pick-your-poison situation.
But, when you do your best to make peace with and feel better where you are, focus more on what is satisfying and fun for you, (not just about the job, it could be on any subject you enjoy), then you gain access to the awareness of the other two really good and great options that you didn’t know existed before.
The stress gets worse indicating your perception gets further away from Source’s perspective. In addition, you’re judging the negative emotion as uncomfortable, and needs to go away, instead of seeing its value and a friend who’s here to help. Even just removing your resistance, to resistance, will help you feel better.
“You can’t produce quality work.”
“Likely won’t find or hold down a job with similar pay as you lack the skills.”
You are focused on lack of clarity, lack of creativity, lack of intelligence, lack of freedom to be yourself, lack of support and lack of ease and flow, which does not allow new skills and quality work.
Source and Law of Attraction are the greatest network that you are always a part of and have access to.
“I can see that no amount of anxiety acceptance will help me produce the quality of work that's expected of me here.”
The reason you see that, is because you are wearing rose/resistance-colored glasses. When you feel better, you see how befriending your emotions allows quality to flow. Because your Inner Being knows what is expected of you, and knows you can produce at levels far beyond what you have allowed yourself to. And the more you stop looking for reasons to feel worse, and do whatever it takes to look for reasons to feel relief and feel better, you start producing at least ten to one hundred times more quality than you have before.
Thanks for your response Brian. Been trying to digest it. Not sure I totally 'get' what you're saying. Or more accurately put, not sure how to translate what you said into making the situation(s) better. The 'How' of it is still a bit unclear. Maybe it'll get clearer some day as I keep reading these things and thinking and tryin gover n over again..
To make the situation better, you want to focus on thoughts that feel better.
The how, in terms of what to do, will become clear, after you feel better.
ah i see.. Thanks for the clarification