Im at a point in my life where I'm super happy with my relationship and family relationships. The only thing I'm missing is friends. Ive always had handfuls of friends, I'd say that the past few years that decreased, and I love my bf but I would love some girl time and I've been trying to meet new friends, any suggestions would be appreciated.
So its really good to look at what “friends” means to you, because it can mean different things to different people. Great re relationship and family relationships. Wonderful, if these are working you are already on the way to creating other relationships too. However, when you say you have had handfuls of friends, look at why that is. Is it because you preferred a smaller number, or perhaps it was easier to share and get to know a smaller number of people? I note you say “girl time” so am guessing you are only wanting “female” friends (and that’s important to distinguish too!). We live in an amazing universe and there are a variety of people out there – so when you start to create definitions around things like sex, you automatically start limiting yourself from the universal perspective. Nothing wrong with that at all, its just something to be conscious of.
I’m a fan of Star Wars and am remind of Yoda training Luke, when Luke says he is trying to learn to be a jedi, and Yoda responds so brilliant with “do not try either do or do not”. Trying to do anything is usually setting yourself up for failure and making a half attempt at something. When you are determined you do not “try” anything you simply become it. So with your “trying to meet new friends” – it’s a bit like “trying to be pregnant” in that you can’t. You either are or you aren’t pregnant.
Meeting new friends is easy if you find common ground like for example shared interests, so getting into groups of new people who share passions are a great idea to start.
Yeah I guess girl time I meant like I missed doing "girly things" with someone like shopping, manicures. I spend most of my time around men so I guess the whole missing girl time stems from that. But you're right about the limiting aspect, thanks for bringing that up to my attention.
I do see the trying thing was making me come off as to needy and was actually backfiring on me. I will stop the whole trying and just let it be. Great quote from Star Wars btw!
Its interesting as there is actually a lot of spiritual stuff in Star Wars - but yep Yoda has it nailed hasn't he.
Sure, I got that idea from your words. However, its also important to recognise you can have "girly time" with men too. It doesn't have to be women only (and even women have differences and not all like girly times) so its just an option to explore and see what the universe can deliver to you.
I was watching this guy's video the other day and he said that if you're having trouble manifesting something, a lot of times it's because you haven't got familiar with the thought. He suggested spending a little time, at least twice a day, visualizing your desire as if you already had it. What would it be like? What would you do? In your case, you would be shopping with a friend and getting manicures, and whatever else. You're not trying to convince yourself that you already have it because your mind knows that you don't, so that will only bring up resistance. Instead you're just playing a game with your self and imagining what if you had it. And what that would be like. After a week or two of visualizing it consistently every day, the thought will become more familiar to you because you've spend time each day thinking about it. In another week or so the thought will feel even more familiar to you. And because of that it will become easier for you to believe or have faith that it's actually coming to you. In the beginning it was hard to believe because you weren't thinking about it enough and were therefore not vibrating on the frequency of having it - it wasn't a familiar thought. But by thinking about it every day you train your vibration to the frequency of having it and your faith builds and then it has to come.
I've been trying to manifest a friend the last few days myself using this method. But to be honest, I really don't enjoy sitting around visualizing. It feels like a choir. Actually, all the methods feel like a choir. There's that other technique where you write out your desire as if you already have it and then read it to yourself a couple of times a day which can help you visualize it if you have trouble visualizing. I started doing that also, but even with both of these methods it feels like I'm not visualizing my desire often enough. So I might need to do it more often. I don't know if it will work for me because I've been a loner for so long I have a lot of resistance to my desire. But, it might work for you.
What you described above is a great tool in the visualization process . I had heard Abe suggest something similar too. It can be difficult to jump to completely believing something. Familiarizing yourself with the manifestation is a good first step and simply playing with ‘what could be’ can be very effective. And every time we repeat this we are closer to believing it as true. This is the same reason why sellers advertise their products making huge claims about how much we need their awesome product. Repeatedly watching these advertisements makes us believe them. Just like that!
One very important strategy that is helping me reduce the resistance to my desires is being more intentional ( or mindful or more focused ) throughout the day. When you train your mind to think the way you like, you reduce all those unwanted automatic ( resistance causing) thoughts.
I can def resonate with the first quote!
I have used affirmations and still do today for other things, surprisingly I don't know why I haven't tried this for this matter LOL. I honestly love visualizing. I will bring these into my practice. But yeah the whole loner mindset will have you stuck in that vibration, I know you know this but I wish you luck!
Also just because you are surrounded by friends doesnt always mean you won't feel lonely. LIkewise, its when people consider relationships as ending loneliness - it doesn't necessarily mean that. Its possible at times to be in relationship and feel lonely. It doesn't guarantee an end of loneliness per se. Thats worth thinking about too.
I like what London Guy said about defining what friends mean to you. I find that when I look back at things/events I wanted, I had the most resistance when I tried to fit myself into someone else's definition of what something is. For example, friends do such and such activities. But I wasn't into them, but for the sake of having friends I'd participate in them. This created a feeling of dread, unmet expectations, and just dissatisfaction with results. So no wonder it wasn't a good experience. But when I became clear on what I want, a lot of pressure came off. Even well meant LOA advice may not work for you. It's not b/c it doesn't work but b/c it's just doesn't resonate with you.
The other thing, when you ask for something, sometimes what happens is that things that don't work are magnified. It's as if the universe is putting a magnifying glass to it. That doesn't mean things are getting worse. They're as they used to be, but now your attention is called to it. So what do you do? You look at it, learn from it, let it go. And move on.
Also, be clear what attracting friends means. Many people say they want to attract money but they don't want to work for it. They may be getting a wonderful work opportunity which will pay well and have all sorts of perks, but their idea of attracting may mean that a bag of cash appears out of no where on their table. But back to your topic, when attracting friends be aware that sometimes you may be called to initiate something. When you tune in and are aware, you'll just know what to do.
you can meet new people everyday, all it takes is an open mind and heart. just visualize it, and it will surely happen to you by applying LOA.