Hi there lovely PI community. I need your help.
I want to stop missing the man I have loved for almost 4 years now. It was long distance. We barely talked in the past 2.8 years. He broke my heart once again recently.
I’m finally genuinely ready for him to leave my heart forever. I have struggled a lot over the past years in my efforts to stop missing him and stop thinking about him. I kept letting him go and kept falling back into the missing and desperately craving him cycle over and over ad over again.
Maybe somewhere deep in my heart I still had hope. Of having a proper relationship once again. Of seeing him, talking to him, touching him...
I want to stop hoping.
So if you have successfully removed someone from your heart, please share how you did it. Here’s what I request you to keep in mind when you share your bit:
- Abstract advice never helped me. I need help
with actual actions I can take
- Finding another guy is not an option for me because of my circumstances. It just isn’t.
- I have tried for years and years and failed to create enough self-love in me for myself. ‘Love yourself’ is a futile advice for me as that’s a challenge I might need another couple decades to overcome, if I ever do!
Sorry if this is a bit too much. I’m team trying to pull myself out of the unbearable heartache and humiliation. I would truly appreciate your help with this. Thanks!
Thank you Dorothy for always trying to help. Please pray for me that I win this battle once and for all. Thank you
You're very welcome sweetheart. Well i do not really believe in praying, praying is usually for passive people or for people who have not a clear vision of things but you can develop that vision. i believe things don't "magically" change, we need to do the work, to heal ourselves and everything WILL change. again, i KNOW you can do it! As Abraham Hicks say Feel good and then what you want manifests. Here are 2 truly great videos (and a quote) for you that can give you so much clarity about what you're going through and that can really help:
I have a lot to say , I will try to take some time out write it down later. It may be a little too blunt for you at this time .
For now, I think it would be best for you to completely feel your feelings and emotions. May be write them down on a paper or talk it out to a trusted friend . Just don’t act on your emotions .
Remember that this is just a phase and I promise it will pass.
Thanks. I have been writing things down on paper. It helps.
Honestly, knowing how I’ve felt over the years, I consider this as progress - the tact that I genuinely feel ready for him to leave my heart and mind forever. I just have to figure out how to achieve that. I don’t ever want to go back to missing him for days and weeks and months until my heart can no longer take it and I end up reaching out just to save my heart from exploding.
I don’t want to sneak into his Facebook or youtube channel ever again. I don’t want to check his ‘last online’ time stamp on whatsapp ever again (why the hell do I do that anyway!). I don’t desperately want to see him every time I’m back in the city/country I was born and raised in (he lives there).
Most importantly, I don’t want to hope anymore - that he’ll go back to being the guy who I had an incredibly strong connection with that blew both our minds, who went crazy to see me just once, who kept asking for my pics, whose voice would get sad when saying goodbye over the phone...
No more. That’s all
I think you have had enough time to process your feelings .
Like I said before, continue to reflect on what you are feeling and become aware of it. Try to get a perspective and look at the whole picture. Try to find out what went wrong from your side. Did you assume and expect a bad behavior from your bf? What are your beliefs about yourself, about love and relationships? Do you know what you would like to experience in a relationship? Do you know what kind of a partner are you looking for?
Use all the knowledge you have regarding LOA and the laws of the universe and apply them to your life and relationships . You deserve the best, don’t settle for anything else.
All the best River!
Thanks a lot Infinity. For now.. I just feel... tired. And numb. Totally... numb. I honestly don’t know anymore.. I don’t even want anyone and anything anymore. My soul is tired.. it seems. I just want to find some relief that stays. Just some peace. Don’t want to think about him, what he’s thinking, how is it that I miss him so much and he doesn’t, how is it that he doesn’t even text or call knowing that I’m so close and that we can meet as many times and for however long we want...
I want these thoughts to leave me alone. FOREVER! Just want to be left alone...
I forced myself to move in a couple of times, but the guy kept coming back around. Honestly when the bad outweighs the good with a guy, Sbe says, "It should be easy and it is more work than it is worth." So I would resolve to stay alone until someone else comes along that is more acceptable. And I went into a state to check on my x and it is like the universe manifested my running into a super better romantic match in the end. And my x suddenly passed away two months ago.
Sorry to hear about his passing. And thank you for sharing your thoughts
Here are some very helpful words by Bentinho Massaro the title is finding a girlfriend but we're talkin here about a boyfriend, the process is obviously the same: