In the spirit of what may occur over the next few weeks, I thought I would expand upon a subject which I have mentioned a lot before. Christmas is coming up, and that can mean a rotating cast of social events, but it can also be a time of insecurity for people, particularly around personal attractiveness. So this is a post for all of the Bridget Clones and men who resemble characters in a Mike Gayle novel.
You may be feeling anxiety about how you look, act or appeal to others, and no amount of " it only matters what you think " will be placating those feelings. There may also be nothing much on the horizon in terms of occasions, and you may be feeling bored, but fear not; because the answer lies in your VIBRATION.
By this, I mean how you employ the magic trick of SELF APPRECIATION. You have probably experienced it before, feeling bad or anxious about yourself before an event or occasion, and then leaving feeling like the unwanted last vol-au-vent at the buffet. I have been there myself, and all the talk of 'just be yourself' doesn't really cut much ice. If you have been left behind or just forgotten about, whilst everyone else is having a fine time, then the 'self' you have been for months or even years just isn't working. Something has to change. And that something starts first of all with your own cultivated sense of self approval.
The bottom line is that you have to like and feel good about yourself, in order for anyone else to do so; and if you are sending out little barbs of self-criticism, then reality will respond in kind by sending you situations which make you self-criticise even more. But what if you changed that vibration to one of self-esteem and feeling good about who and what you are? The effects would be markedly different.
Start with your positive qualities. List them and make the list long. It doesn't matter how trivial or insignificant they may seem, just get them down on paper, and then read them over and over a few times. The idea here is that you are affirming to yourself and to the world, that there are things about you which make you worth appreciating, and that gives you a positive foundation on which to 'build' more.
But what are you going to add to that? Your own affirmed positivity.
Pick a thought you would like to believe about yourself, and use it as an 'anchor belief' in your mind. One which focuses it upon something positive about you, rather than anything negative which you may have been employing and believing for years. Examples could be,
I AM VERY LOVEABLE,
I AM TRULY GORGEOUS,
I AM SUPERB,
I AM TRULY WONDERFUL,
I AM WORTHWHILE,
I LOVE AND APPROVE OF MYSELF,
or anything else which chimes with you. Start repeating it to yourself, and aim for 1000 times a day for 100 days. It may seem like a lot, but we 'waste' a great many thoughts each day thinking negative things about ourselves, so why not give positivity a shot?
And it may feel like you are speaking rubbish at first, but that is only because the mind has been so conditioned to self-criticism, that it will feel uncomfortable with something new. This is quite normal, and takes a bit of gentle persistence over a couple of days; rather like breaking in a new pair of trainers. They feel awkward at first, but after a few days of use, they mould to the shape of your feet, and the mind works in much the same way. After a few days of use, it too moulds to the feel of a new thought, and that new thought starts sinking in to become a subconscious belief, and the first stages of attracted reality.
Mind power in this way builds up a kind of psychic 'momentum' in which developments and synchronicities which are relevant to the thought which you are using, start manifesting incrementally. After about 3-4 days, you get what I call a 'golden point moment' whereby something happens to show you that your new belief is becoming live (attracted reality) and that changes are taking place. It could be an advert in a magazine, something you overhear, or in this case, an unexpected compliment from a stranger. There are many ways this could happen, but the bottom line is that you will be thinking; " aha, my thoughts are kicking in, I am starting to turn into a hottie, " and if you keep it up you will be.
Things will then start opening up for you, and they can come from out of nowhere. Things can cheer up, no matter what contrast may be happening in the present moment. Your thoughts and feelings are shooting outwards to create an especially wonderful 'pilot wave,' pulling in the people and circumstances which it is in alignment with. I am using Christmas as my main example, but this 'trick' can be done at any time of year, and anywhere you are. Anybody from a socialite of cosmopolitan London, to a pauper in the slums of Rio, or a farmhand on the remote prairies of North Dakota can become a hottie if they are vibrating as such.
Here are some examples from my own life:
1/ Several years ago, I was having a gloomy November where nothing much was going for me, and this slow flow had carried over into December, and my work's Christmas do. I had a really poor night (feeling like an unimpressive wallflower) and I was annoyed at myself; enough was enough, something had to change, and I deemed that better feelings about myself were the way forwards. I began to affirm these better things, using the ways I have outlined, and they started to attract better realities and reactions.
Opportunities soon began to arise, and one of which was a lads' night out on the weekend before Christmas which I was initially nervous about, because it would involve people who had treated me badly at the previous do. But I decided to go along anyway, because there is nothing like a successful second attempt, to overwrite the energetic aftermath of a bad memory. I made sure my vibration was very high going in to the night, and had a great time, but best of all was that I attracted an unexpected and very comely admirer, and caused a few surprises.
2/ A while later over the summer months came another work do, so I decided to employ the 'special trick' again, and began re-affirming great things about myself, and focusing on my positive qualities. On this occasion, I was more confident of the final outcome, and the admirer came in the form of a vivacious Geordie brunette who was full of the joys of life. Moreover, she was pretty blatant in her admiration, and I knew exactly what she was picking up on - the self esteem vibration which I had been sending out for the previous couple of weeks.
3/ Four months later, and it was time for a mutual friend's 18th birthday, and the possibility of more lady charming on my part, so I got my thoughts focused upon my own self-worth, and the outcome was exactly the same. Moreover, I was by now, very confident of how things would turn out, and was delighted with the end product.
I would like to point out here that you shouldn't say how or who you may attract, because of others' free will. You may psychically influence the person you want (as I did) but it is better to be open to ANY channels of attraction. In the first and second examples, I didn't really know who would pick up on my improved vibration, I just had a feeling that somebody would. In the third, I had a pretty good idea who would, but was open to other possibilities as well. That after all, is half the fun of it. You could indeed meet someone at a lively social occasion, bopping away under neon lights; but you could also meet them on a train journey, a shopping trip, a visit somewhere interesting, in a queue on your lunch break, connected with work, or at a house party as you are cracking open the egg nog. The Universe has infinite ways to bring them into your experience.
When they happen though, you will know it.
There will be a 'magic moment' of alignment where you can 'read' another person's energies, and they can read yours. Here is where LOA can get quite wishy-washy, because people will say things like " you can explain what it feels like, you'll just know it, " which isn't terribly useful, but there are some pointers. It could be something as Hollywood as the look in their eye (we have ALL had a flirtatious look from someone which telegraphs their interest) or a shared moment of auto-erotic preening, or a conversation you are having where you both understand each other, or you make each other laugh, or it may be as confident as the physical touch (confidently on their part, or them not minding on your's). Whatever it is, there will be a clear moment where you think " aha, this person is right up my street. THIS is the one I have been intending. "
At this point, it doesn't overly matter how you look, but it certainly does matter how you vibrate, and if you are vibrating highly, then you will draw in others of the same frequency.
I would also like to counsel against 'coasting,' which basically means stopping doing the things which have brought you the momentum in the first place. It could be something like complacency (feeling that things are going so well, that you don't have to keep up your good work) or it could be allowing fears to resettle in your mindset. Either way, it is like riding a bike, and then stopping pedalling: eventually the bike will slow down and stop, and so will the momentum in your life. Sometimes you may also feel that you are hitting a wall, and that things aren't working any more, and this is a moment which you have to identify clearly. I have found that after about 3 weeks of working with mind power, you get this hitting-a-wall moment, and start doubting what you are doing; so you need to keep on going. It is the ego's fear or change and improvement, but you know that you get results with CONSISTENT PRACTICE so if you keep on going, then you will arrive at a new level of experience.
(And if you start today, then 3 weeks from now will be the start of December, so you can get the hitting-the-wall moment out of the way before the social occasions really get going).
Once again, a lot of LOA theory can be very vague and wishy-washy, with platitudes like 'love comes when you least expect it,' which I think is a bit crap. Love and attraction come when you are IN ALIGNMENT WITH THEM, and that is created by you loving and appreciating yourself first and foremost. Give it a go, and see who comes into your world over the next few weeks.
Which festive star will shine the brightest this year? And who will be as vibrant as the Carnaby Street Christmas decorations?
The answer, is YOU.
Fantastic. Maybe you could write your own post about this and post it in the success stories forum. Something else you could do is make a couple of lists. Firstly, make a list of all of the things you like about yourself and all of your positive qualities. Refer to it a number of times so that it sinks in. This will send out another vibration of energy: one of self-appreciation. Then you will start attracting people who appreciate you and who you appreciate too.
Secondly, also make a list of all of these magical things which have happened to you over the past 55 days. As you pay attention to and acknowledge all of these things, you will be attracting more to you.
I would like to add something now about attracting someone who is out of your league. You may think that you don't stand a chance, or that they just won't be interested in you at all, but what I would say is that IT IS YOUR BELIEF THAT THEY ARE OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE, which is keeping them as such. You believe that they are out of bounds, and they stay that way.
What is actually meant is that their vibration is higher than your's and you are feeling the difference. However, with practice, your vibration will also improve, and will start to match people who you think are quality. There is no limit to how good you can think of yourself, how good you can feel, and how high your vibration can go, so they better it gets, the better the people you also attract.
The way you feel is how you can gauge this. In my first example, I wasn't feeling too good going into the work's Christmas party, and the result was a very poor night. I was very much out of alignment then and reality matched. Fast forward two weeks and I had worked on my vibration, and attracted that first girl who I was very pleasantly surprised by. It was quite a turn-around I couldn't have foreseen anything like it at the first party night.
And remember, don't raise your vibration in order to manipulate a certain person, raise it so that you may attract a person of real quality. It's all in the vibration. So they may be conventionally attractive, or unconventionally attractive. The bottom line is that you will think they are great because their own high vibration matches your's.
Wow Sir Neil, you wrote this in 2014? I wish I'd seen it back then.
I think when you really feel gorgeous, etc...that's the start, when you know you're gorgeous, then those that don't think so, do not phase you. This is really important to note.
Getting to the point where if some guy thinks you are ugly, yet you know you are gorgeous? Yeah, that's where you want to be. And it's basically when you see it as true from inside, that you are "in alignment".
You vibe with something when you truly believe it. That's how I see it.
But this was eloquently wonderful, thanks Sir Neil! Now how do I switch all this in terms of money instead of romance?
I also just notices something else. I approve of myself, but I've noticed a bit of resistance when I think, I love myself.
Is it possible to accept without love? Hm, I guess so, since I am myself experiencing it, but isn't that kind of empty?
I am astonished at not knowing this sooner. I mean, it never occurred to me that I have some trouble truly loving myself, especially like I want to be loved.
Does this affect money? Someone mentioned once that your sense of self will affect how much money you make, do you think that's true? Hm....you really got me spinning with this post....
TKS! Sir Neil~