When I first started reading and studying this stuff, I watched the Abe videos on Youtube(frequently and there were only less than `100! One of the big points was "Hitler didn't go to hell"
Many moral issues of being a selfless person come up on this board and judgements are made.
Honestly I realized that our whole society is taught in a christian manner that, "You only have redeeming value as a person by behaving altruistic!" I bought into it, got a Psychology degree, then burned out because I couldn't handle social work, and well am kind of still on constant burn out. I've manifested a whole live of problems continually. And I've evened them out only here and there and got smooth sailing like manifestations...
Lately I have had a few new people be so helpful but it's during really rough situations I've also been simultaneously manifesting. *For example, going to see potential grad school colleges in the western states with no money. So living in homeless shelters and jumping from one to another(no need to judge every one has already done so before you with this choice). I want the possibility of a grad school to be easy. I've agreed that all I want to do is stabilize housing. And it's NOT SELFISH to want to be spoiled to a degree, especially if my definition is really just being treated decently and getting nice opportunities like I've not manifested for myself in housing or in life(fun times) for so long.
*For those who believe a person can basically stabilize their life by living in a shelter, MOST SHELTERS< like 75% only offer 30 days emergency housing, and the rest vary. So most homeless in order to have INDOOr housing HAVE to BOUNCE around, which screws everything else up, medical care coverage with public ins., and everything. I really want to manifest ALL OF MY MEDICAL CARE BEING UP TO DATE, CURRENT, NORMAL, AND ALL OF MY BODY BEING WELL MANAGED IN NORMAL HOUSING AND WITH GREAT MEDICAL CARE PROVIDERS THAT ARE STABLE IN MY LIFE.
This is a very interesting topic that you posted and one of my favorites.
I can understand how people feel misdirected in the name of religion. I was forced to believe some very stupid concepts in the name of Hinduism. And I went to a convent school too, so it was a double dose. There was a part of me that did not feel very satisfied with all that I knew then. My strongest intention that led me to studying the LOA and spirituality was to actually know God . What I got was much more :) and the best part is it felt like returning to my real self or waking up or remembering the big truth. I am brainwashing myself since. I am sure that you already know this from Abraham and other sources- you deserve to be spoilt, totally, always! Your grad school experience, living arrangements, health etc is meant to be easy and a positive experience. There is no God outside of us who rejoices in our suffering. Heaven or Hell are only states of mind that we choose at every moment. The trick is to work with the universal laws . Good thoughts and feelings will bring us good circumstances. No “ God “ can interfere with that. Helping others is good because it makes us feel good . That is all. We must first tend to ourselves . Buddha didn’t get enlightened by serving the needy, he abandoned his wife and kid to spend time alone focusing on himself and raising his vibrations, Of course he was a kind and compassionate individual . Conversations with God was a great read and I would highly recommend it to undo any wrong programming about God. You can find a pdf online.
Of course having normal housing is not being spoiled, that should be a basic human right.
You can do it. You can turn it all around.
Shelters are pretty rough places...I agree, it's really tough to stabilize your life from there. But look how tough you are. You're tough from going through all this, and your persistence is impressive. So acknowledge that in yourself, because I've been in really low spots and it takes a strong person to do it.
Also in my opinion, if I were you I'd take a break from LOA for a bit and just focus more on just self love, treating yourself better, getting to a place of being supportive of yourself like a good friend would be, regardless of the conditions.
Prayer is really helpful too. And keep it up, you can transform this and be an example of what's possible.