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So how do I keep myself and my kids safe. My hubby is a broken man and recently the cracks have deepened. He's drinking again after been mostly sober for several years. And I mean binge drinking, not coming home. Or staggering in completely pissed and I have to follow him around so he doesnt fall on top of one of the kids. (They're still toddlers). He's worse in way when hes sober cos he's angry all the time. Yelling at all of us, giving our young son a particularly hard time and making our home very stressful and unpredictable. He's constantly hen pecking me about everything I do...I know this constitutes as domestic abuse. I've already been talking to a lawyer and a councillor but i can't divorce as he's not BAD enough to not get dual custody. I can't trust him not to drink if he had shared care. His drinking is too unpredictable. I know this post belongs in an AA support forum but I want myself and my kids to be safe...I thank the universe for it daily and just imagine its just myself and the kids and we're happy.

I just want to know has anybody else had success turning things around?

I'm not trying to save my marriage or my hubby. I can't fix him...and you know what. I don't want to either. I just want out...with the kids so I can stop worrying about the next time he stumbles through the door and will I have to call the cops etc.

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we attract any kind of abuse in our life when we are abusive with ourselves, do you love yourself enough? really?? abuse is a wonderful opportunity to look inside ourselves and analyse and overcome all our traumas and fears. im not telling you that you don't have to take action against this man, im just telling you that unless you overcome your insecurities, d traumas that are trapped in your subconscious you will keep experiencing abuse in one form or another in your life, here's an incredible coach that can help to heal for real - below her Amazing instagram and a video/transcript about how to deal with narcissists or/and addicts:

https://www.instagram.com/melanietoniaevans/

https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/narcissist-or-addict-can-they-ev...

Yeah I understand that I probably attracted him to me in the first place. He's a bit like my dad who was an alcoholic. I'm talking to a councillor now so that I have some support and working at getting myself out of that cycle. However my main concern is keeping the kids safe. In the past when I wanted to move away from a toxic person id do some eft for how they made me feel and they would literally vanish from my life. This feels a lot bigger...I'm just looking to hear from anybody who's been througj this.

Well i was saying something different....you know you create your own reality right? If inside you there's no negative emotion you can not experience this sh*t! no need for lawyers or pple who have experienced this. however i know that d inner work can be sooo hard, i understand..

anyway if you believe you need to change the outer reality to feel better that's ok and it will works BUT you're living a conditional life, you won't feel invincible.

The safety of your kids is also emotional, if you live in fear you won't keep them that safe.

Okay so the first thing is change your idea and thoughts about your hubby (i.e. he’s a broken man) because to some degree that is what you will be broadcasting to him and that he will get and act on. Now its fine to be aware of this, but you don’t want to lay it on as a judgment or projection as so often happens.

Now you say recently the cracks have deepened. Is there any way of speaking to him when he is sober? I mean highlighting the facts that you have explained could be the wake up call he needs. I’m sure he doesn’t want to harm the children, so pointing out that he is possing a possible danger might help here. Now whatever the reason there isn’t really an excuse for this behaviour – so don’t try to look for one. It is a maze that you will get trapped in and even if you do discover the whys it won’t stop this. Your first priority is yourself and you kids.

Now you say you can’t divorce and that he’s not bad enough to not get dual custody. Please don’t believe that – its not true at all. Based on what you have said already, its more than likely that he’s possing a threat to the children and with his drinking and abuse – that is definitely something that the courts will consider in great detail.

Go back and speak to your lawyer and councillor and get them to help you with this and see what options are available to you. I have known some people in similar situations who have come through it and you are on the right track with what you are already doing. Keep the faith that a solution is possible, and let it present itself to you. It will often happen in unexpected ways, but be sure to let the universe know you are serious about this and ask for help from the people you have mentioned already.

Yeah my lawyer says if I feel threathened in any way I'm to go to a women's refuge. I've told my close friends, told kids creche in case he ever shows up drunk. But yeah I might talk to her again. Thanks by the way.
So yeah...I feel like when I met my hubby ( I knew he had drinking issues in the past) I wanted things to work out so I did lots of medication and visualisation and was always sending him love.

I was spinning the 'my husband is a good guy' plate.

Then we had kids, mortgage etc and I was too busy looking after myself (back at work) to keep up the vision of what I wanted him to be. Without my constant focus he fell back into old drinking pattern...the frequency he was before we met. Or thats how it feels.

You can't change people...he needs to want to be that guy and hold HIMSELF in that vibration. I lifted him up for a bit...

I'm done...he wont admit he's an alcoholic. To him its a challenge to control his drinking so that he CAN still drink.

All I do now is visualize being back in my home country with the kids. How it feels to never worry bout him falling through the door at night etc...free and safe.
So to add to this. He got drunk and assaulted me and the police got me a protection order. He has minimum access to the kids right now. All I wanna do is move back to my home which is miles away. Anybody else had success with this? I just want the kids and I not to have this horrible future with this aggressive drunk.

M
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