we attract any kind of abuse in our life when we are abusive with ourselves, do you love yourself enough? really?? abuse is a wonderful opportunity to look inside ourselves and analyse and overcome all our traumas and fears. im not telling you that you don't have to take action against this man, im just telling you that unless you overcome your insecurities, d traumas that are trapped in your subconscious you will keep experiencing abuse in one form or another in your life, here's an incredible coach that can help to heal for real - below her Amazing instagram and a video/transcript about how to deal with narcissists or/and addicts:
Well i was saying something different....you know you create your own reality right? If inside you there's no negative emotion you can not experience this sh*t! no need for lawyers or pple who have experienced this. however i know that d inner work can be sooo hard, i understand..
anyway if you believe you need to change the outer reality to feel better that's ok and it will works BUT you're living a conditional life, you won't feel invincible.
The safety of your kids is also emotional, if you live in fear you won't keep them that safe.
Okay so the first thing is change your idea and thoughts about your hubby (i.e. he’s a broken man) because to some degree that is what you will be broadcasting to him and that he will get and act on. Now its fine to be aware of this, but you don’t want to lay it on as a judgment or projection as so often happens.
Now you say recently the cracks have deepened. Is there any way of speaking to him when he is sober? I mean highlighting the facts that you have explained could be the wake up call he needs. I’m sure he doesn’t want to harm the children, so pointing out that he is possing a possible danger might help here. Now whatever the reason there isn’t really an excuse for this behaviour – so don’t try to look for one. It is a maze that you will get trapped in and even if you do discover the whys it won’t stop this. Your first priority is yourself and you kids.
Now you say you can’t divorce and that he’s not bad enough to not get dual custody. Please don’t believe that – its not true at all. Based on what you have said already, its more than likely that he’s possing a threat to the children and with his drinking and abuse – that is definitely something that the courts will consider in great detail.
Go back and speak to your lawyer and councillor and get them to help you with this and see what options are available to you. I have known some people in similar situations who have come through it and you are on the right track with what you are already doing. Keep the faith that a solution is possible, and let it present itself to you. It will often happen in unexpected ways, but be sure to let the universe know you are serious about this and ask for help from the people you have mentioned already.