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Empaths sometimes practice a disempowering story, that basically says, “I am powerless over how I feel. If someone is happy, I’m happy. If someone is unhappy, I am forced to be unhappy. I am like a bag in the wind, of other people’s reactions.”

There is no way you can tell that story, and feel good. The reason is, your Inner Being doesn’t agree with it. Any thought you think that is disempowering, is not true.

You can be aware of people’s emotions, and understand why they feel that way, but you’re not actually feeling their feelings. Their emotions are theirs, and yours are yours.

If someone is upset, they are focused on what they don’t want. If you are upset because they are, you are focused on what you don’t want. So you both feel upset, for the same, general reason (specifics may vary). You are receiving your own, individual guidance, that has nothing to do with the other person, other than how you are thinking about them.

You create your emotions. But if you don’t know you are the one doing it, you then logically (although inaccurately) assume, it must be coming from someone/something else. But there is no emotional assertion. You are not at the whim of how other people feel.

It’s just a simple matter of hyper sensitivity (meaning, you’re more aware of what you do and don’t want), combined with a lack of focus, that causes your heightened awareness of lack and what you don’t want, which results in feeling stronger negative emotion.

When you focus more on what you want, then you don’t feel upset, regardless of how they feel. When you see things are working out for them, even when they don’t see it, then you feel better. So if you feel worse because someone else does, that means your perception is off. Your negative emotion never comes from what someone else thinks; it always comes from what you think, about what they think.

Being an empath gives you a tremendous incentive to focus only on what you want, because it feels that much worse when you’re not doing that, which allows you to be a greater benefit to yourself and others.

I’d love to hear your experiences, and help answer any questions you have about this topic.

For further guidance, I do coaching calls and e-mails. For more info, see my Profile Page.


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Truly empowering post, thank you!

p.s. anyway as regards this topic i'd like to share a quote i like:

L'immagine può contenere: testo

Being empathic myself, I disagree completely with this theory.  You seek, for me, I do feel other peoples emotions as if they are my own.  Its my body’s way of showing me if a strong emotion is present at any given time, I almost sense it as if its my own.  The way I deal with this is after working with a number of empaths, is to actually ask “Is this mine or someone elses”.  98% of the time I get it is someone elses.  My teachers used to say that we all have the empathic gift (we just don’t recognise it). 

So a classic example of an experience we have all had is where we go into a room and feel angry for no apparent reason.  Usually afterwards in hindsight we learn that everyone in the room was angry prior to us getting there but we psychically pick that up. 

As to the theory there is no way you can tell that story and feel good – to some degree there is truth in this is you believe the story the way you describe it, but for me I don’t ever feel disempowered by my gifts, rather empowered and I know my Inner Being is fully supportive of me and my life and my gifts and expressing them safely in the world and universe. 

Likewise if someone is upset, there could be a multitude of different reasons other than being focused on what they don’t want. 

Yes i totally understand your words as im an empath but Abraham for example says that people behave in the way YOU expect them to behave, it's ALL about your vibration, it's all about your beliefs. So i think Brian's, Abe's and your perspective are all valid, we can use the one that serves us in the best way.

But Abe isn't an empath and also I'm not sure whether any of Abe actually had physical embodiment or existence on this planet from what I recall (it was asked once from memory).  So Abe's take on being an empath is somewhat out of place for me in this discussion.  Likewise Dorothy do you accept the theory here that when you are being an empath you are not able to feel other peoples feelings?  For me, I know that is definitely not the case.  No two empaths are alike though.  Guess either way its food for thought!

Well i think Abe is beyond all this, it's a higher perspective than the human one that divides people in empaths and people who are not like that. Abe and Brian are reminding us that we are powerful creators so the situations with people in our experience are self-created and that means other people can Not affect your vibe.

But that is the point.  We are all empathic to some degree. No two people are ever alike and no individuals are identical (even identical twins have differences).

The point I was making was that Abe as wise as they are, have never had a human body on this planet, so their guidance about empathy is from an afar place and not one based on direct experience.  Whilst I completely agree with you that we are powerful creators, to say that empathy skills means that you do not feel others feelings is incorrect (in my case for sure).  Also in the beginning, I think it can and does effect vibes whilst you are learning and opening up to the skills.  So I share a very different viewpoint from both of you.  For many years, other peoples emotions can and did effect my vibe till I learned how to use this gift.  

Yes sure, all people are empaths somehow. Well i know what you are talking about, i have let for my whole life people's energies affect me and in order not to be affected in a negative way i embraced both abraham's perspective (that's all about MY thoughts) and the empath's perspective (i feel other people's energies so i can understand what's really going on). So im not saying your point it's not valid, im just saying that Abraham or Brian's perspective are valid and empowering as well.

Sure, I get that.  Everyones opinions are valid for sure.  Abe's though is the one I'm suggesting is problematic in that they have never been in physical body on earth, so their perspective whilst seeming somewhat higher is abstract.  Not saying there is no value in their tools or theories, because there are.  

Yes, i agree!

I appreciate your thoughts.

“Feel angry for no apparent reason. Usually afterwards in hindsight we learn that everyone in the room was angry.”

The reason the person would feel angry, is if they were judging something as wrong. People only think there’s no reason, when they’re not paying enough attention to how they feel, and haven’t made the connection between their thoughts and emotions.

If someone feels upset, that means they were judging something as wrong (whether it be how other people felt, other people’s perception of them, they don’t want to be there, they feel obligated to be there and would rather be doing something else, etc.) which is why they would receive guidance in the form of feeling angry themselves, to let them know that their thoughts are not in alignment.

When you accept everyone as they are, you are focused on what you want, and then you feel relaxed, regardless of how other people feel. Because their guidance system, doesn’t affect your guidance system.

When you see the value in everything, you don’t feel angry (which is feeling powerless) because it’s a different vibration. If you feel angry, you were on the frequency of anger first, to allow yourself to feel that way, otherwise you wouldn’t experience it.

For example, if you feel comfortable and relaxed, you don’t feel angry, unless you judge something as wrong (a.k.a. not seeing the value in something), then you drop your vibration, because you feel more powerless, and receive anger as guidance. Now, anyone else who is angry, Law of Attraction helps you two rendezvous together. That person didn’t make you angry, they were your indicator to reflect that you were already angry, or close enough, in order to be able to feel that way, otherwise how they feel wouldn’t bother you. 
A mirror reflects more accurately of what is closest to it.


If you’re in joy, you’re not going to drop down to depression, if someone else feels that way, unless you view their depression as wrong, and focus on the lack of their well-being.

When you only focus on what you like about them, and they’re doing great, they’re right on their path, then you remain in joy.


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