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I haven't been on this forum for over a year. I has really changed... i hardly even recognize it. I haven't been on in so long that i forgot my username.
Well I'm back because I find myself needing help to grow with my intentions but also to help others that need encouragement especially with love.
I will start by giving some background.

A year and a half ago I lost the love of my life through my own irresponsible actions (I didn't cheat but I did treat him horribly.) And I don't blame him for leaving. We were together for 10 years at this point. Once it sunk in that he was not going to stick around it was too late for me to make up for it. I went through all the stages of a breakup. Devistation, anger, feeling sorry for myself, feeling angry at myself... you name the emotion I went through it.
I went on different forums to find support but I mostly got harassed and told I don't deserve him. I started to believe it. But then I had snap out it if I wanted to do anything about it.
So I started watching the Secret every night. I downloaded the audio book and listened to it over and over... I even fell asleep to it. I had to gain my hope back that I was worth having what I wanted even if I did make mistakes along the way.
So I got the concept of the Secret. I just needed real life reassurance that I could attract a person back into my life. Most of the posts I read were about people just like me. There weren't many that illustrated love lost coming back. I knew that if my lost love ever came back I would have to come back and share my story.

So here I am. I want to tell you all that it can happen! You CAN attract your lost love back to you!!
After 4 months of putting the Secret to work I got my love back. 4 months and 1 year after I MARRIED him!!!

The first step is you have to make sure.... positively sure that you want to back with that person for the right reasons. Not pride, not comfort, it has to be genuine. Once you recognize the genuine love and want for this person you have to take a deep breath. You have to relax and trust that your love is worth waiting for as long as it takes to get what you want, because you never really know when it will come back to you.
And so starts the game of energy. Which is what the Secret is all about, energy. and to truly illustrate how I attracted it back was a post i discovered and read over and over and over and over and over.

"You redirect your thoughts to other matters. Now you only pay that person as much attention as you do everyone else (it is wrong to ignore the person - and that happens often as a reaction of ego, pride, etc.). You continue to be kind and good and behave as though nothing ever happened between the two of you. Although that person's reaction to your attention was negative, you are not adversely effected. (Can you see how easy it is to forget "the greatest love" once you "unplug" and distance yourself from it?)

What happens? The same person who didn't pay you any attention before now begins to take an interest in you. It is a game of energy. If you want something from someone or try to impose your needs on him or her, a similar situation arises because it isn't what "that" person wants.

The solution lay always in the middle ground. Returning to the example, where the situation is completely reversed, suddenly your opinion matters and he or she now finds you trustworthy and someone they want to confide in. In the first case you were giving your energy to the other person (in the form of affection and approval), in the second case, you withdrew your energy.

Feeling an overall absence of energy, the other person seeks to restore the balance of the original state. With your energy withdrawn, the other person must now go farther to restore the balance of energy, so far that they are now willing to "invest" some of their energy, attention. When you redirected your energy and gave up your desire, it came true.

Physics, which, among other things, describes the various relationships and behavior of energy exchange, can explain this phenomenon. The universe acts according to the principles of energy exchange and humans are primarily beings of energy that have a physical form. Thus, the idea that physics could inform the notion of relationships between human beings as an overall interaction and exchange of energy is not only phenomenal, but also becoming more recognized in the world.

This example illustrates one of the basic Laws of Nature. As long as you are trying to gain the affection of another person, your over exuberance causes the energy scale to tip out of balance, resulting in the object of your affection withdrawing theirs to the point of indifference. For them, this situation is ideal.

You are now in deep and under their control, eyes wide and bright, eager to please, doing whatever they want to the extinction of your own needs. When you withdraw your attention, and thus your energy, the scale tips in the opposite direction and the other party sees the resulting deficit as their losing control over you. Their fear of losing now compels them to respond by investing their energy to get yours back on their side again.

Whenever you feel the compulsion to force a situation, you are in danger of any disbelief you may harbour of a successful outcome overtaking you and extinguishing any tiny spark of faith and hope you have. "



So I "moved on" I got on with my life as best I could. Of course I always had him on my mind. But I wasn't staying in bed all day anymore. I wasn't drinking myself blind anymore. I had a life again.
Once I really started living by what I read I would get calls from him at least 3 times a week. Until finally I got a call from him telling me that he wanted to be back together.

So once again, let me reassure that it will work! It has worked!

My best of luck to everyone out there trying to attract their lost love!!!

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Surely this could work with someone you are hoping to be involved with who, after you've known him for over 2 years, still is a friend -- shows interest now and then -- has other circumstances in his life that make it appear that a deeper relationship may not be possible -- and avoids a deeper relationship because he was hurt deeply a number of years ago...???

I don't want to change the focus of this discussion, really, but...just wanting to get some perspective. I really have been able, over time, to just live my life and let him live his -- we stay in contact, and yet...I do think of him almost all the time -- it's encouraging to know that others do, too.

I'm so happy for you, and know that many here will be encouraged by your words. Thank you.

Mary Jo
Hi Mary Jo,
If you want to attract him in your life as your soulmate than dont be contend with him being as friend. Picture the end result and make a point everyday to allocate some quite time for yourself to visualize this with intense emotion. The open your eyes, leave the rest to the Universe to manifest.

Accepting your state of being is good, at the same time, be willing to seriously attract what you really truly want.

~Nisha~
Well I did my best to not think of him. Because if I did it drove me crazy. It sucked my energy and didn't really allow me to live my life. So whenever I got distracted I found myself to be a lot more sane and able to handle the feelings of loneliness and missing him much better. I found when I did this the best I would receive a call or a text from him.

The best way I can describe it is like a balloon with two ends to blow into. Our relationship, in whatever label you want to put on it, is the balloon and we are the people who inflated it on either end. In order for a balloon to be functional and be what it should and wants to be it has to be full. But if i am the only one blowing and putting my air into the balloon then he doesn't have to put any effort into it. He can sit and relax and watch me fall to my feet to make that balloon inflated. And who wouldn't want to lay back and let the other person use their air if they're willing.
but as soon as you only inflating your part then the other person will have to pay attention to the under inflated balloon. So they have to start using their air and putting effort into keeping it inflated.

The energy it takes to inflate a balloon is basically the same as a human relationship. Since we're all just balls of energy anyway. I would think about him just enough that it didn't drain me because once it started to consume me and drain me I knew I was overinflating my portion of the balloon.

So I think if you are honest for what is healthy for you then you can think about that person til the cows come home. But I knew for me, I lost myself when I couldn't stop thinking about him. I actually started dating and hanging out wiht my friends every night. I would call a friend any time I would feel the urge and redirect my attention.

It felt like a game but it also felt really healthy because after a while I didn't have go out as much or call others so much. I would say time healed but I don't really believe time exists other then a way of repression. Its hard to describe how I got to where I was when I finally let go and allowed the universe to take care of me but it just clicked and once I put my faith in it, it all fell into place the way it was suppose to.
So, it's ok. to date other people while waiting for your ex, right?
if it feels right for you then you cant go wrong.
It felt right for me because I knew it was a step to keep my mind off of him enough to manifest him back to my life.
Yes! It's so good to follow one's own internal guidance, and to hear how others have been guided as affirmation and encouragement and insight for new ways to see things....
tunasandwich5 I want to give you a big hug for posting and writing this, we need you, stay with us, I need your encouragement and insights so I can reach the peace of mind and heart that I need, I want to say the words you said "HE WANTED TO BE BACK TOGETHER" :-) the most beautiful and pure words for many of us..
Amazing story tunasamwich! Love your nick LOL. The same almost thing happened to me only a little different, maybe you can help me figure this out. I was in love with a man for 9 months, long distance (overseas). I mean I cant even go into DETAIL when I first set eyes on him in a photo it was like i saw a ghost. I thought he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. We began chatting and became close friends but at the time he had a gf. Eventually they broke up. And I, trying to be his savior flew to his country to help him, hoping he would fall for me. I go there, and he had his cord still attached to her, and when I first saw him on my trip I thought I was going to fall over. I couldnt take my eyes off of him. It was a spiritual connection. I felt so much love for him, like he is my half. Things didnt go as I had hoped, planned and visualized for months. Because I gave him all of my energy, he withdrew. Though he was shy, but it made matters worse. I only saw him for a little while before I flew home. And ever since then, he had been in my mind and heart.....

Fast Foward. I had moved and changed towns, and I was without the net for a LONG time getting settled. I was in the process of finding a home, then i found my home, (manifested actually lol) and then eventually got so busy I was barely online. I then began dating also... but my heart/mind was still on him. I also found out he began dating...

and guess what. NOW that Im back, hes IM'ing me like crazy, and wants to talk on the phone! He said he misses me and now we're talking and even closer than before....I am hoping for a reunion....
could this be what you were referring to when talking about the energy balance?
I am so happy for you!!
I def believe that you are on the right track! Because things happen when you least expect it. And you already know how to attract things into your life (your new home. Congrats!!) Now you just have to believe it can happen with people too!

So how did this end? 

Tunasandwich, tks for this wonderful post ........

My bf and me broke off 9 mths ago, when we 1st broke off, i went into frantic ways to bring him back in my life. 3 mths later, he did came back but as a friend and not more than that but i still can feel he has feelings for me but he himself not sure what they are. But i can sense from his actions that he still care, when i hold his hands, he grab back ......

then we saw each other in june again and he is still ok then ........

the last i saw him is in october .......... and tis time, i feel that there is no more love from him ........ when i grab his hand tis time, he didn't grab back ......

so today i text him and asked if i can go visit him tis coming christmas, he told me "sorry rose, i am starting my new life with someone."

my world just collapsed when i hear those words ..........

sorry i am rambling here but after reading my stories, my questions is "does this work on someone that found someone new and has no more love for you ........."

it's been almost 14 hrs since i read that text from him and my mind still hasn't sink into me that what he said is true.

he is a shy man and not good in pursuing girls and out of nowhere, he found someone ??

i know, i am in denial .......... so pls someone ......... anyone, if you have any success stories on bringing ur love back no matter how difficult it seems .......... pls do share here.

thank you so much .............
My husband was with somebody else when we were apart. And he is also someone that isn't one to pursue women. He brought her to a friends wedding. Met her parents. Did many boyfriend/girlfriend things. All these things broke my heart. And it made think that he really moved on and wouldn't want me ever again.

I would receive texts from him saying he moved on and couldn't have me in his life anymore... most of these came out of the blue and not from me text him first. so you can see that I had all the reasons in the world to believe that he didn't want me anymore.

But I had to believe. I had to believe that we would be together again. As delusional as it seemed I had to believe that what he said was out of hurt and fear and every other bad feeling he had towards me. I allowed him to feel it. I allowed him to work through his emotions towards me because I believed that he had to do this in order for him to not resent me when we got back together.

So I allowed him to do this as much as it hurt. As much as I wanted to loose hope I knew I couldn't if I wanted him back.
I think its the universe's way/his way to see if your feelings can truly withstand hardship and toil. I believe my breakup was a way to get me ready for marriage, to show me that I can't just quit because its hard.

I had many nay sayers (except on this board) saying to just give up, he doesnt want you anymore. But I didn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't picture my life with out him. So I kept believing because I had to. It is easy to give up. But the best things in life can sometimes feel like the hardest to attain. But you are energy and you can attract any energy you want into your life. Including another person.... who is also energy!!
Just keep telling yourself to believe!
Remember that its always darkest before the dawn. And just when you think that seed is going to grow itll sprout!
Just keep believing!

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