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I haven't been on this forum for over a year. I has really changed... i hardly even recognize it. I haven't been on in so long that i forgot my username.
Well I'm back because I find myself needing help to grow with my intentions but also to help others that need encouragement especially with love.
I will start by giving some background.

A year and a half ago I lost the love of my life through my own irresponsible actions (I didn't cheat but I did treat him horribly.) And I don't blame him for leaving. We were together for 10 years at this point. Once it sunk in that he was not going to stick around it was too late for me to make up for it. I went through all the stages of a breakup. Devistation, anger, feeling sorry for myself, feeling angry at myself... you name the emotion I went through it.
I went on different forums to find support but I mostly got harassed and told I don't deserve him. I started to believe it. But then I had snap out it if I wanted to do anything about it.
So I started watching the Secret every night. I downloaded the audio book and listened to it over and over... I even fell asleep to it. I had to gain my hope back that I was worth having what I wanted even if I did make mistakes along the way.
So I got the concept of the Secret. I just needed real life reassurance that I could attract a person back into my life. Most of the posts I read were about people just like me. There weren't many that illustrated love lost coming back. I knew that if my lost love ever came back I would have to come back and share my story.

So here I am. I want to tell you all that it can happen! You CAN attract your lost love back to you!!
After 4 months of putting the Secret to work I got my love back. 4 months and 1 year after I MARRIED him!!!

The first step is you have to make sure.... positively sure that you want to back with that person for the right reasons. Not pride, not comfort, it has to be genuine. Once you recognize the genuine love and want for this person you have to take a deep breath. You have to relax and trust that your love is worth waiting for as long as it takes to get what you want, because you never really know when it will come back to you.
And so starts the game of energy. Which is what the Secret is all about, energy. and to truly illustrate how I attracted it back was a post i discovered and read over and over and over and over and over.

"You redirect your thoughts to other matters. Now you only pay that person as much attention as you do everyone else (it is wrong to ignore the person - and that happens often as a reaction of ego, pride, etc.). You continue to be kind and good and behave as though nothing ever happened between the two of you. Although that person's reaction to your attention was negative, you are not adversely effected. (Can you see how easy it is to forget "the greatest love" once you "unplug" and distance yourself from it?)

What happens? The same person who didn't pay you any attention before now begins to take an interest in you. It is a game of energy. If you want something from someone or try to impose your needs on him or her, a similar situation arises because it isn't what "that" person wants.

The solution lay always in the middle ground. Returning to the example, where the situation is completely reversed, suddenly your opinion matters and he or she now finds you trustworthy and someone they want to confide in. In the first case you were giving your energy to the other person (in the form of affection and approval), in the second case, you withdrew your energy.

Feeling an overall absence of energy, the other person seeks to restore the balance of the original state. With your energy withdrawn, the other person must now go farther to restore the balance of energy, so far that they are now willing to "invest" some of their energy, attention. When you redirected your energy and gave up your desire, it came true.

Physics, which, among other things, describes the various relationships and behavior of energy exchange, can explain this phenomenon. The universe acts according to the principles of energy exchange and humans are primarily beings of energy that have a physical form. Thus, the idea that physics could inform the notion of relationships between human beings as an overall interaction and exchange of energy is not only phenomenal, but also becoming more recognized in the world.

This example illustrates one of the basic Laws of Nature. As long as you are trying to gain the affection of another person, your over exuberance causes the energy scale to tip out of balance, resulting in the object of your affection withdrawing theirs to the point of indifference. For them, this situation is ideal.

You are now in deep and under their control, eyes wide and bright, eager to please, doing whatever they want to the extinction of your own needs. When you withdraw your attention, and thus your energy, the scale tips in the opposite direction and the other party sees the resulting deficit as their losing control over you. Their fear of losing now compels them to respond by investing their energy to get yours back on their side again.

Whenever you feel the compulsion to force a situation, you are in danger of any disbelief you may harbour of a successful outcome overtaking you and extinguishing any tiny spark of faith and hope you have. "

So I "moved on" I got on with my life as best I could. Of course I always had him on my mind. But I wasn't staying in bed all day anymore. I wasn't drinking myself blind anymore. I had a life again.
Once I really started living by what I read I would get calls from him at least 3 times a week. Until finally I got a call from him telling me that he wanted to be back together.

So once again, let me reassure that it will work! It has worked!

My best of luck to everyone out there trying to attract their lost love!!!

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Surely this could work with someone you are hoping to be involved with who, after you've known him for over 2 years, still is a friend -- shows interest now and then -- has other circumstances in his life that make it appear that a deeper relationship may not be possible -- and avoids a deeper relationship because he was hurt deeply a number of years ago...???

I don't want to change the focus of this discussion, really, but...just wanting to get some perspective. I really have been able, over time, to just live my life and let him live his -- we stay in contact, and yet...I do think of him almost all the time -- it's encouraging to know that others do, too.

I'm so happy for you, and know that many here will be encouraged by your words. Thank you.

Mary Jo
Hi Mary Jo,
If you want to attract him in your life as your soulmate than dont be contend with him being as friend. Picture the end result and make a point everyday to allocate some quite time for yourself to visualize this with intense emotion. The open your eyes, leave the rest to the Universe to manifest.

Accepting your state of being is good, at the same time, be willing to seriously attract what you really truly want.

Well I did my best to not think of him. Because if I did it drove me crazy. It sucked my energy and didn't really allow me to live my life. So whenever I got distracted I found myself to be a lot more sane and able to handle the feelings of loneliness and missing him much better. I found when I did this the best I would receive a call or a text from him.

The best way I can describe it is like a balloon with two ends to blow into. Our relationship, in whatever label you want to put on it, is the balloon and we are the people who inflated it on either end. In order for a balloon to be functional and be what it should and wants to be it has to be full. But if i am the only one blowing and putting my air into the balloon then he doesn't have to put any effort into it. He can sit and relax and watch me fall to my feet to make that balloon inflated. And who wouldn't want to lay back and let the other person use their air if they're willing.
but as soon as you only inflating your part then the other person will have to pay attention to the under inflated balloon. So they have to start using their air and putting effort into keeping it inflated.

The energy it takes to inflate a balloon is basically the same as a human relationship. Since we're all just balls of energy anyway. I would think about him just enough that it didn't drain me because once it started to consume me and drain me I knew I was overinflating my portion of the balloon.

So I think if you are honest for what is healthy for you then you can think about that person til the cows come home. But I knew for me, I lost myself when I couldn't stop thinking about him. I actually started dating and hanging out wiht my friends every night. I would call a friend any time I would feel the urge and redirect my attention.

It felt like a game but it also felt really healthy because after a while I didn't have go out as much or call others so much. I would say time healed but I don't really believe time exists other then a way of repression. Its hard to describe how I got to where I was when I finally let go and allowed the universe to take care of me but it just clicked and once I put my faith in it, it all fell into place the way it was suppose to.
So, it's ok. to date other people while waiting for your ex, right?
if it feels right for you then you cant go wrong.
It felt right for me because I knew it was a step to keep my mind off of him enough to manifest him back to my life.
Yes! It's so good to follow one's own internal guidance, and to hear how others have been guided as affirmation and encouragement and insight for new ways to see things....
"....when I finally let go and allowed the universe to take care of me...."

I always forget this part, that it's still about allowing instead of forcing our desires to happen. I'm def going to sit back now and put my energy back to myself and what I like. It's his turn to blow again!

So when you let go and what not, and the other person is supposed to feel that energy...

Even if they don't contact you or haven't contacted you yet, are they still feeling that energy, I am getting so many signs that are linked to him at the moment and I just don't understand what they mean! I am so confused! I have even asked for clarity and I am still unsure... 

I am still trying to have faith but I think he has even met someone new now and I just don't know what the hell is going on! Everything is all up in the air at the moment I am so confused.. 

I empathize with you.....I am in a similar situation. I lost my love by not communicating very well (that was both of us but mainly me, for reasons of embarrassment)  and it was months before my true feelings resurfaced. Now that they have, I am using all my powers of creation to forge a new path with her on it. We aren't in direct contact yet, but I can feel an energetic connection forming and growing stronger. There are signs it is working, but of course, now that I know I want her, I want her RIGHT NOW.

Good to remember impatience can stop any manifestation dead in its track.....BEING patient is harder.

She is seeing someone for the past three months, seriously, but I have been told by a psychic intuitive friend that the guy is a slick user who is currently hiding his true nature, so before long (if he hasn't already) he will betray her., abandon her or abuse her in some way. I have visualized him stomping out of her home, angrily saying he's never coming back. I can see her sitting at her kitchen table watching him leave, as though I am actually in the room with them. Today when I called up the vision, it was fuzzy and less distinct, l as though he is already fading out. It's happened twice. So have other things I believe in.

What I am doing (short of a direct contact) is to continue to see us together, ASSUMING my wish is fulfilled and the reunion has already happened. What's difficult for me is to NOT think about her as much as other people, thus withdrawing the energy as the original poster aid. I am trying to get on with my life and let The Universal Manager handle things. It's hard because I am currently attracting new employment and have time on my hands that's not easy to fill.

The only direct action I am taking is to write her  short note, with words she can relate to even if my intent and my internal language is different. Once I send the note (my friend and I have decided next week is soon enough) I have to let go as best I can and allow her to come to me.

I appreciate the encouragement I get from this site and topic.


I know this is an older post but...

I have been focusing my attention else where, finding it comfortable to be with myself and all other things positive. I am working on my self image which is still in the works. I  unfriended him on Facebook late last year to help me in this process of re-focusing. I have not seen anything from him in nearly two months

The last few weeks, I have felt stronger and better. Today, in my facebook news feed I am seeing a post from him of a blog that he wrote for a group  in which we are mutual members . not only that, but a lot of our common friends are sharing that blog post so that now I am seeing his picture everywhere.

I actually like the piece he wrote. Question: Should I like it on Facebook or not? Would that be wrong.

tunasandwich5 I want to give you a big hug for posting and writing this, we need you, stay with us, I need your encouragement and insights so I can reach the peace of mind and heart that I need, I want to say the words you said "HE WANTED TO BE BACK TOGETHER" :-) the most beautiful and pure words for many of us..
Amazing story tunasamwich! Love your nick LOL. The same almost thing happened to me only a little different, maybe you can help me figure this out. I was in love with a man for 9 months, long distance (overseas). I mean I cant even go into DETAIL when I first set eyes on him in a photo it was like i saw a ghost. I thought he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. We began chatting and became close friends but at the time he had a gf. Eventually they broke up. And I, trying to be his savior flew to his country to help him, hoping he would fall for me. I go there, and he had his cord still attached to her, and when I first saw him on my trip I thought I was going to fall over. I couldnt take my eyes off of him. It was a spiritual connection. I felt so much love for him, like he is my half. Things didnt go as I had hoped, planned and visualized for months. Because I gave him all of my energy, he withdrew. Though he was shy, but it made matters worse. I only saw him for a little while before I flew home. And ever since then, he had been in my mind and heart.....

Fast Foward. I had moved and changed towns, and I was without the net for a LONG time getting settled. I was in the process of finding a home, then i found my home, (manifested actually lol) and then eventually got so busy I was barely online. I then began dating also... but my heart/mind was still on him. I also found out he began dating...

and guess what. NOW that Im back, hes IM'ing me like crazy, and wants to talk on the phone! He said he misses me and now we're talking and even closer than before....I am hoping for a reunion....
could this be what you were referring to when talking about the energy balance?


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