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I haven't been on this forum for over a year. I has really changed... i hardly even recognize it. I haven't been on in so long that i forgot my username.
Well I'm back because I find myself needing help to grow with my intentions but also to help others that need encouragement especially with love.
I will start by giving some background.

A year and a half ago I lost the love of my life through my own irresponsible actions (I didn't cheat but I did treat him horribly.) And I don't blame him for leaving. We were together for 10 years at this point. Once it sunk in that he was not going to stick around it was too late for me to make up for it. I went through all the stages of a breakup. Devistation, anger, feeling sorry for myself, feeling angry at myself... you name the emotion I went through it.
I went on different forums to find support but I mostly got harassed and told I don't deserve him. I started to believe it. But then I had snap out it if I wanted to do anything about it.
So I started watching the Secret every night. I downloaded the audio book and listened to it over and over... I even fell asleep to it. I had to gain my hope back that I was worth having what I wanted even if I did make mistakes along the way.
So I got the concept of the Secret. I just needed real life reassurance that I could attract a person back into my life. Most of the posts I read were about people just like me. There weren't many that illustrated love lost coming back. I knew that if my lost love ever came back I would have to come back and share my story.

So here I am. I want to tell you all that it can happen! You CAN attract your lost love back to you!!
After 4 months of putting the Secret to work I got my love back. 4 months and 1 year after I MARRIED him!!!

The first step is you have to make sure.... positively sure that you want to back with that person for the right reasons. Not pride, not comfort, it has to be genuine. Once you recognize the genuine love and want for this person you have to take a deep breath. You have to relax and trust that your love is worth waiting for as long as it takes to get what you want, because you never really know when it will come back to you.
And so starts the game of energy. Which is what the Secret is all about, energy. and to truly illustrate how I attracted it back was a post i discovered and read over and over and over and over and over.

"You redirect your thoughts to other matters. Now you only pay that person as much attention as you do everyone else (it is wrong to ignore the person - and that happens often as a reaction of ego, pride, etc.). You continue to be kind and good and behave as though nothing ever happened between the two of you. Although that person's reaction to your attention was negative, you are not adversely effected. (Can you see how easy it is to forget "the greatest love" once you "unplug" and distance yourself from it?)

What happens? The same person who didn't pay you any attention before now begins to take an interest in you. It is a game of energy. If you want something from someone or try to impose your needs on him or her, a similar situation arises because it isn't what "that" person wants.

The solution lay always in the middle ground. Returning to the example, where the situation is completely reversed, suddenly your opinion matters and he or she now finds you trustworthy and someone they want to confide in. In the first case you were giving your energy to the other person (in the form of affection and approval), in the second case, you withdrew your energy.

Feeling an overall absence of energy, the other person seeks to restore the balance of the original state. With your energy withdrawn, the other person must now go farther to restore the balance of energy, so far that they are now willing to "invest" some of their energy, attention. When you redirected your energy and gave up your desire, it came true.

Physics, which, among other things, describes the various relationships and behavior of energy exchange, can explain this phenomenon. The universe acts according to the principles of energy exchange and humans are primarily beings of energy that have a physical form. Thus, the idea that physics could inform the notion of relationships between human beings as an overall interaction and exchange of energy is not only phenomenal, but also becoming more recognized in the world.

This example illustrates one of the basic Laws of Nature. As long as you are trying to gain the affection of another person, your over exuberance causes the energy scale to tip out of balance, resulting in the object of your affection withdrawing theirs to the point of indifference. For them, this situation is ideal.

You are now in deep and under their control, eyes wide and bright, eager to please, doing whatever they want to the extinction of your own needs. When you withdraw your attention, and thus your energy, the scale tips in the opposite direction and the other party sees the resulting deficit as their losing control over you. Their fear of losing now compels them to respond by investing their energy to get yours back on their side again.

Whenever you feel the compulsion to force a situation, you are in danger of any disbelief you may harbour of a successful outcome overtaking you and extinguishing any tiny spark of faith and hope you have. "

So I "moved on" I got on with my life as best I could. Of course I always had him on my mind. But I wasn't staying in bed all day anymore. I wasn't drinking myself blind anymore. I had a life again.
Once I really started living by what I read I would get calls from him at least 3 times a week. Until finally I got a call from him telling me that he wanted to be back together.

So once again, let me reassure that it will work! It has worked!

My best of luck to everyone out there trying to attract their lost love!!!

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Thank you so much ,tuna. U made me have tears in my eyes with such beautiful words you' ve written. I totally understand what u mean by just keep on telling myself to BELIEVE. Its such a powerful tool. The whole world can say "no" to you,but so long as you believe with faith, what u believe will come true.

I have been moving on in circles and circles, not being able to let go of a guy. To begin with, we don't even date. We're just a teacher-student relationship. And a lot of girls are going after him, he doesn't have to worry not having a girl beside him. I have disturbing times when I know who are the girls hanging out with him. Even though we used to chat on the phone,but it has since stopped for like 11 months already. I looked back and wonder why all these while, nothing more happened between us. I'm depressed.

But now with your post, I feel confident again. Infact, lately when I stopped being so friendly to him, disturb him less, he seems to be nicer to me in class.Perhaps its the 'energy balance' thing u were talking abt.

Thanks a lot,I will keep with faith, no matter how bleak the situation is, no matter what big obstacles is ahead of us, I will believe that I can be with him .
what a lovely thing to remind us of - belief! :)

thank u...i needed to read this.....for two days i've cried and couldn't even feel my heart beating....now i'm back to believing cuz i know him and i belong with one another....thank you , thank you, thank you for posting this....

this is sooo encouraging,,, thank you for sharing 

Tunasandwich: Soooo happy for you. *hug* I'm so glad you posted this, it is exactly what I needed to read today.
Wow. This is amazing. I have been going through something similar except that this man and I have never really been together on a consistent basis and he has admitted he has been hurt in the past and has vowed to never get involved again. So last weekend I was so discouraged that I decided it was time to move on. Yet all week I could think of nothing but him.

I know that I deserve love. I know the universe has something good for me. I also know that I have my mind on him, my heart is with him somehow, and I can't let go of that even when I think it would be better for me to do so.

I've been listening to some CDs by Abraham-Hicks. They say that when you feel bad, you are simply not in alignment with Source. In other words, when you feel bad because so-and-so seems to not respond to you the way you desire, you are not in alignment with Source. So then you have to determine for yourself what that bad feeling means; that is, what feels better, what takes you up the emotional scale in the direction of feeling better?

Does it mean that you need to find love in yourself for yourself? That's always a nice thing to desire, and I always desire that. BUT if you are denying the feelings you have that feel good, then are you really loving yourself by denying them? No!

So people may say, "You need to just move on." Last week all week I kept thinking what a fool I was to interpret anything that he did as an indication that he cares about me. I mean, I had myself convinced that he was troubled and would always be that way, and that he really didn't care about me, and that his silence and absence and his sporadic communication with me, etc., means he doesn't care.

I had decided that because he wasn't with me, it's because he didn't want to be with me.

In that way, yes, that's true. Right now he doesn't want to be with me, or for heaven's sake, he would!

But does that mean he will never want to be with me? I don't think so.

And I trust that if I am to focus my desires on something different, I will. When I try to make it be so, I feel out of alignment; I don't feel good. Until I feel good about doing that, or if I do, I am not going to try. Oh, that doesn't mean there may not be times when I feel discouraged. I've spent a lot of years with doubtful thinking and not knowing how to stick with what I feel and acknowledge that what feels good is really OK. I even felt last week like I had just been fooling myself, because LOOK! Here's how it really is! He is in touch, then he goes away, all within a matter of days, and then he pops back in, and then he goes away, and then he pops back in. And he never seems willing or able to let the communication and conversation go beyond weather and music, generally. Only once, maybe twice, has it seemed he was just a little bit inclined to let me in. He even said it. "I don't let many people in."

And oh -- he lives with someone else. I don't know what their relationship is like. I suspect it's one of convenience -- she doesn't demand commitment of him, he doesn't demand it of her. In fact, last year some time she had a baby. I asked him if it was his. No, it wasn't even possible for it to be his. (And she is in her early 50s!!! What a deal! I had a baby when I was 44! What an adventure she's in for!)

Anyway, it's what I need to hear, and it was helpful when I read that you are feeling that sense of insanity that do as well sometimes! It has been a roller coaster. What's helped me today is listening to Abraham-Hicks. I love their stuff -- it is just the right thing for me.

I was thinking, tuna, that your husband texted you that he was moving on BECAUSE he was trying to convince himself that he was doing so. Why did he want you to know at all? He was still thinking of you anyway! If he'd really been moving on he'd have just left you alone, right?

It sounds kinda familiar. When I first did get together with MG (that stands for My Guy and is also his initials), he would say, even if it was just casual and we were hanging around with other people, "I'm never gonna make a commitment again."

Our get-togethers have almost always been in public places, never initiated by him in that he would never ask me out, just wonder if I was going to show up somewhere, or if I said I was going to something he'd say, "I might be there." And he's still doing that -- in some ways I have less contact with him now than I did before, except for some moments of physical contact that are rare. Each time it is really fun, and I awaken the next morning and think, "Oh, I'd love to have this again," and then it will be weeks or even months before we even see each other, and even then, I never know.

And even now I am thinking that he needs to know that I'd prefer something besides sporadic encounters that happen when he's in the mood. I desire something different. I don't know that I'll say it, but I may act on it, by just not being ready and willing. I wonder sometimes if I'm allowing him to have no commitment but the enjoyment of my presence (and the feelings that he is cared about) whenever he feels like it. Seems that when those moments happen, it's almost as if he runs the other direction even faster.



I shall just trust.

Mary Jo
I am so happy that my post found all of you!!!
If there was something I needed when I was in your position it was encouragement and a real life story that worked because of the law of attraction.
I wish the best for you all!!! And you will all get what you are looking for! I'm sure of it!
Hi. I have one question. When I believe, visualize my lost one to come back to me should I contact him and when or should I wait for him to call me/write to me first? I am afraid to make some move that he would tell me he is with somebody else and that it will ruin all my hope so I think maybe just to visualize and wait for him to contact me first. Could you tell me what to do, please?
What I did was visualize and believe that we were together mostly before bed. I would sleep only on my side of the bed. I would have a cup of water by my bed because he always had one there. I made it feel like he was still a presence in my life but on vacation or something. So I didn't feel bad that he didn't want to be with me... I convinced myself he wanted to be with me but had to follow his own journey home.
I eventually started to believe my feelings. I didn't call or text him first for the last few months of our breakup because I knew how much I was thinking about him and I knew he could feel that energy so calling him would just make him overwhelmed.
Don't wait for him to contact you. Just know that he will eventually. It may be days. And you will no doubt get discouraged. I would try to will phone calls and it never happened. It was only when I least expected it that I would get any contact.
You have to feel good before you can attract any good in your life. Even if you're pretending to feel good, feel good.... you will start to believe it. And life will bring you what you need, even if its not what you want right away.
Just trust and feel good and you can't go wrong!
I think it's difficult. To me so many things seem contradicting. Moving on and getting your life together, letting him go, but don't lose hope. Doesn't it make you force it then?

For me. I'd love to have my boyfriend back. We only dated for a month, but it was amazing, and I had fallen so in love. He broke up with me. Two months later..I'm still not over him.

I know I have to keep believing, but I'm afraid somehow that letting go means 'losing hope'. And not showing him much energy means he'll forget me..
I just listened to an Abraham-Hicks CD today. In it, they spoke of what we need to do in order to manifest what we desire. They were speaking specifically of money but they also said that it could apply to anything we want. They said that our job is to visualize it, imagine it, dream it, feel what it would be like to have it, and let the universe take care of the rest. In my situation, that is encouraging in that I so often feel like I need to DO something -- I guess in my moments of frustration that it's not happening...and it's nice to not really have to do anything but visualize what it would be like to have it happen. And remember that it's always helpful to focus on "what" and "why," and not on "how," because then we let that get in the way of it happening.

Letting go means letting them be where they are. Don't think I'm an expert, please -- I write a lot of what I write because I know that I, too, need to do what I advise. Letting go means trusting. Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means you're trusting. From what I am learning, all you need to do is to visualize, trust, and raise your vibe, and be good to yourself along the way.

Mimi, this advice is to you as well. You know in your heart what is best to do. If the idea of calling him lowers your vibe, then don't do it. Just trust.

I know -- I struggle with these things sometimes, too.

If he's with somebody else, it may be hard, but if you still feel this desire, even that can't stop you. I have had so many things happen that discourage me, time and time again, and yet I just keep bouncing back...even when I get tired of doing it!

Mary Jo
Oh, and here's something else I need to remember -- the idea is to be happy now, while you are manifesting this. You raise your vibe first, then the manifestation comes, not the other way around. I am sure that each one of us has the feeling that if what we want doesn't happen, we'll never be happy. So my desire is to be happy anyway. I can get in my own way sometimes -- but it's really a nice thing to do, because isn't what we want, anyway?



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