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I haven't been on this forum for over a year. I has really changed... i hardly even recognize it. I haven't been on in so long that i forgot my username.
Well I'm back because I find myself needing help to grow with my intentions but also to help others that need encouragement especially with love.
I will start by giving some background.

A year and a half ago I lost the love of my life through my own irresponsible actions (I didn't cheat but I did treat him horribly.) And I don't blame him for leaving. We were together for 10 years at this point. Once it sunk in that he was not going to stick around it was too late for me to make up for it. I went through all the stages of a breakup. Devistation, anger, feeling sorry for myself, feeling angry at myself... you name the emotion I went through it.
I went on different forums to find support but I mostly got harassed and told I don't deserve him. I started to believe it. But then I had snap out it if I wanted to do anything about it.
So I started watching the Secret every night. I downloaded the audio book and listened to it over and over... I even fell asleep to it. I had to gain my hope back that I was worth having what I wanted even if I did make mistakes along the way.
So I got the concept of the Secret. I just needed real life reassurance that I could attract a person back into my life. Most of the posts I read were about people just like me. There weren't many that illustrated love lost coming back. I knew that if my lost love ever came back I would have to come back and share my story.

So here I am. I want to tell you all that it can happen! You CAN attract your lost love back to you!!
After 4 months of putting the Secret to work I got my love back. 4 months and 1 year after I MARRIED him!!!

The first step is you have to make sure.... positively sure that you want to back with that person for the right reasons. Not pride, not comfort, it has to be genuine. Once you recognize the genuine love and want for this person you have to take a deep breath. You have to relax and trust that your love is worth waiting for as long as it takes to get what you want, because you never really know when it will come back to you.
And so starts the game of energy. Which is what the Secret is all about, energy. and to truly illustrate how I attracted it back was a post i discovered and read over and over and over and over and over.

"You redirect your thoughts to other matters. Now you only pay that person as much attention as you do everyone else (it is wrong to ignore the person - and that happens often as a reaction of ego, pride, etc.). You continue to be kind and good and behave as though nothing ever happened between the two of you. Although that person's reaction to your attention was negative, you are not adversely effected. (Can you see how easy it is to forget "the greatest love" once you "unplug" and distance yourself from it?)

What happens? The same person who didn't pay you any attention before now begins to take an interest in you. It is a game of energy. If you want something from someone or try to impose your needs on him or her, a similar situation arises because it isn't what "that" person wants.

The solution lay always in the middle ground. Returning to the example, where the situation is completely reversed, suddenly your opinion matters and he or she now finds you trustworthy and someone they want to confide in. In the first case you were giving your energy to the other person (in the form of affection and approval), in the second case, you withdrew your energy.

Feeling an overall absence of energy, the other person seeks to restore the balance of the original state. With your energy withdrawn, the other person must now go farther to restore the balance of energy, so far that they are now willing to "invest" some of their energy, attention. When you redirected your energy and gave up your desire, it came true.

Physics, which, among other things, describes the various relationships and behavior of energy exchange, can explain this phenomenon. The universe acts according to the principles of energy exchange and humans are primarily beings of energy that have a physical form. Thus, the idea that physics could inform the notion of relationships between human beings as an overall interaction and exchange of energy is not only phenomenal, but also becoming more recognized in the world.

This example illustrates one of the basic Laws of Nature. As long as you are trying to gain the affection of another person, your over exuberance causes the energy scale to tip out of balance, resulting in the object of your affection withdrawing theirs to the point of indifference. For them, this situation is ideal.

You are now in deep and under their control, eyes wide and bright, eager to please, doing whatever they want to the extinction of your own needs. When you withdraw your attention, and thus your energy, the scale tips in the opposite direction and the other party sees the resulting deficit as their losing control over you. Their fear of losing now compels them to respond by investing their energy to get yours back on their side again.

Whenever you feel the compulsion to force a situation, you are in danger of any disbelief you may harbour of a successful outcome overtaking you and extinguishing any tiny spark of faith and hope you have. "



So I "moved on" I got on with my life as best I could. Of course I always had him on my mind. But I wasn't staying in bed all day anymore. I wasn't drinking myself blind anymore. I had a life again.
Once I really started living by what I read I would get calls from him at least 3 times a week. Until finally I got a call from him telling me that he wanted to be back together.

So once again, let me reassure that it will work! It has worked!

My best of luck to everyone out there trying to attract their lost love!!!

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Thank you for this. I'll do my best. This week he goes back home to New Zealand for the first time without me for his sisters wedding.

I really like coming back to this post.  It gives me hope.  I keep telling myself to let go, very soon I will have to.  The situation with the man i love, its either the distance of love grows fonder, or i will exist only to be a friend to him?

As my friend tells me also, anything is possible, what seems impossible can change to the possible.

Dam it, dam it thanks again to this wonderful forum. Fudge fudge fudge (no i dont have tirrets lol)

I am doing it again, focussing on LACK.  Argh bloody hell, what will i do with my mind argh :/

I am in a very similar place, so you're not alone in this.  What I am now doing is each morning I spend two to five minutes writing down what I want The Universal Manager to handle in this situation of attracting my mate. We are in the friend state, but she has not said "ain't gonna happen". She could change her mind tomorrow (she has said this) so it's up to me to appreciate this state of friendship (and I do) as well as simply allow for  more possibilities to show up. I also make SURE I spend time appreciating and feeling delighted, then putting my attention elsewhere.  This creates the vacuum that draws even more things that I will be delighted by.  Also, by redirecting my loving energy focus elsewhere, she will feel the energy vacuum (consciously or not) and seek to fill it. And so will The Universe, which brought us together in the first place.

 

What seems "impossible" is only our assessment of what is or is not possible, not The Universe's. The U has resources we humans can't even conceive of, so when we turn it over, an infinity of resources is now available to bring us our most heartfelt desires. We just need to allow it all, so that "letting go",  which is so essential, yet seems so hard, is our best friend.  And isn't it lovely to simply watch the unfolding of the manifestation we have set in motion without having to be so hands-on and in control?

 

So for now, could the state of friendship be enough of a manifestation for the moment?  If you can appreciate that state fully, The Universe has to send you more of the essence of that. Perhaps that is what it takes to ignite the passion that convert a friend from a soul buddy to a soulmate.

I've been dating this guy for some time and established a great friendship with him. We texted each other as if we were soulmates. Everything: Sweet things, sex, romantic stuff, future plans. However at the first date he already told me that he wasn't sure that he was ready for anything serious right now because in november last year he broke up with someone who'm he had a serious relationship with for 2 years (We started dating in the middle of january). Well things however went rather fast. After the first date he already started sending me the sweetest messages i hav ever seen and i fell for it. After a short time however i began missing him and started wondering if this was all just too good to be true... I kept seeing him for some time. At some point i even decided to tell him that i started to have feelings for him. Of course i told him that i would respect his difficult situation and the fact that he needed to get over his last relationship. Suddenly he said that he wasn't sure that we could continue. Then there was silence for one month. Then one friday he wrote that he couldn't keep this up and instead wanted to focus on other things but that he was grateful for everything i had done for him.

I was devastated... It felt like i would die... I've never been so much in pain before. SO close to having a relationship with everything i've been dreaming of. Then i went on the internet and started reading stories of those who attracted their exes back. I began thinking that perhaps this would apply to someone with whom you've been having some sort of intimate contact with. To attract someone to you you have to change YOURSELF into a vibrational match for your desired person. However now i've learned about this thing called "rebound" relationship which indicates a danger that there may never have been any genuine feelings at all. But i seriously can't accept that... There must be a way to become attractive to him once he is finally over his last relationship even though the time may not be now... I know this may sound a bit "attached" but i seriously desire to be with this guy. I've been in love with him almost since the first time i saw him. I felt this attraction almost instantly... Please help me

(oh and i'm in no mood to hear stuff like "well he isn't the one for you - someone better will show up). I know exactly why i'm on love with this guy and why i desire to be with him so much

I hear you loud and strong.... the last thing I want to hear from friends is more platitudes that I've been hearing for years. I was told by a friend that I was wasting my time, even though she herself is following the same path. The only one who knows your best path is you, so hold the vision in spite of appearances.  If you lovingly hold the vision (without longing and yearning for) and don't obsess over it, your inner reality will create your external reality, which MUST conform to the inner reality.  That's how Law of Attraction works.....and there is the buffer of time, so simply let that be.  Things will unfold naturally as long as we don't try to hurry them up. Trying to speed things up only slows them down more.

 

Whenever we encounter resistance from another, it is NOT about them!  They are a perfect reflection of us, so going within and finding what thought or thoughts, habits and beliefs that keep the fulfillment of our dreams from us is what's called for.  On Friday I was reading about mating in The Vortex book, and what I read made so much sense.  It shifted my viewpoint and by Friday evening the effect of the shift was becoming apparent. Not full-fledged but certainly encouraging....and when I accepted the situation as encouragement, I was suddenly finding encouragement from unexpected sources (friends).

 

Letting go and leaving it up to The Universal Manager is not an easy thing, because our rocket of desire is so strong.  But when you've been struggling and not getting results (that's both of us, isn't it) it is clearly the only thing to do.  And that turning over along with the faith that The U can be counted on 100% is what will bring results, and very fast.

 

Abraham gave out a process in which you spend 2-3 minutes in the morning shortly after waking up writing down exactly what you are turning over to be handled for you.  Keep it short and in the positive, with as much expectation you can muster that you will be answered in a way that pleases you.  It may take a few days but keep it up for a week or so and you will begin to see results.

 

It can take even less time....Abraham says three days, the same as Neville Goddard has written.  The full flowering of your desire may take longer (depending on your resistance) but the planting of the seed and the inevitability of your wish coming true has already been assured. The hardest part is waiting in a state of knowing when evidence seems scarce. 

I want to thank you for your reply.

Your wise words has lightened my day and my view of this. I truly want to make my wish, let it go and then focus on myself until the results show up. I was in an amazing state both inside and outside when i met this person and perhaps that's why things went so well from the very beginning. Somehow i started fearing the worst and it came true. Nothing is lost. He is still the same person as he was before but because i have changed inside he no longer matches me and therefore we seperated... I need to get myself back and then he will come back too. I was so confident and happy when i met him. The last time i texted him i was so needy and desperate... I think i get the picture now

My only words of wisdom are is not focusing on "changing back". We never go backward!  So I would suggest holding the vision for your beloved lovingly, letting go and then looking at who you want to be. Not going back, but if you were this person right NOW, who would you be?  Confident? Self-assured? Self-sufficient in the sense that you are complete all by yourself and therefore choose your happiness and it doesn't depend on anyone or anything.Then focus on that vision and let it unfold naturally.  I believe that is the kind of person this man is attracted to and if you are that person, he will be drawn to you. The Universe and Law of Attraction will see to it.

You are right. I do not intend to go back. I don't want to go back to what has already happened. You see that didn't go well... I want to move on to a new beginning with him. Start again... Who do i want to be? Well i want to be a happy, confident and good looking guy (i lift) whom this guy once again is attracted to. I read a post by DNS in here. He said to me that you should love yourself first and foremost and realize that your happiness actually doesn't depend on people or things... Then you use the law of attraction, not to bring them back by force (because that is doomed to fail in every aspect possible). Instead you use the law to evolve into a version of yourself that would influence them to freely choose to be with and be attracted to again. I believe in this

How do you get away from the "lack of"?  I visualize me with my ex walking down a beach, smelling the air, feeling the breeze, being so happy.  I also think of him throughout the day with all the great things we did together.  How to get away from the "lack of" when the only way you know of love is with them?  Im having a really hard time letting go.

I think my inner energy still may hold the sadness of the fact he isnt here with me now.  I need to also figure out how to turn that around.

Advise?

If you can imagine being with your lover and not think of he/she as an "ex", you are halfway there.  Imagining the scene as completely as possible, engage your senses in it and let it feel as real as you can. Revel in the feelings of it, then turn it over to The Universal Manager to figure out how to manifest it. You don't have to and it isn't your job.  Feel the scene as real as you can, but do NOT view it like a movie. See the scene as though you are looking through your eyes and actually experiencing it, participating in it, living it.  Do this for as long as you can, up to about 15 minutes. If you can't do it that long at first, don't worry.....just do it as long as you can and as soon as you start to feel negative, stop. Deliberately stop, and give thanks for the good feelings.  With practice you will hold the scene longer and longer.  When you stop, think about anything else as long as they are good-feeling thoughts.

If you are feeling sad, Abraham says it's not because he isn't here, it's because you are no longer connected to You and the pinching off feels bad.  Deliberately choose thoughts that feel better and you will be instantly re-connected to You. Do this often and when you feel relly connected, do the visioing I described above.

 

Persist in this, and you will turn the situation around.

I am doing exactly this right now....and what's important is not to let the current evidence of your senses be important. Your imagination is far more important and if you will let that dominate you can and will turn the situation around.

Thank you very much. I will try as you say. 

So, if I think of him throughout the day in memories as good memories Im ok?  Its if i drift to the breakup I need to immediately stop and think of something happy?

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