For the past weeks I was practicing gratitude consistently and everything went so well. I absolutely loved life and amazing things were happening to me. But today I got into a huge argument with my mom and dad. It brought all my insecurities to the surface and I felt so bad. How did I attracted this and more so how do I go from here to feeling better again tomorrow ? Can it be that some things look negative at first, but are there to help you? Are these energies shifting? I really would like to know how this can happen, because I really felt great before the argument and I would like to continue feeling happy. :)
Thank you very much!
What are you grateful about the argument? What do you appreciate about that experience? How have you grown wiser about yourself and the relationship you want to have with others which will move you in the direction of more unconditional love and acceptance?
Your questions are so valid!
But here is something that I relate with FRC's post.
My husband and I have the bets bond ever. We have same likes and when it come to different kinds -- we always manage to chime in for each other happily. If he likes "G" and I don/t but, I find a reason to make peace with "G" and it's the least I can do to be with him and vice versa.
But time to time, we have this really argument and we tend to say things that hurt each other.
I am grateful for everything about him, but this phase hurts me and I always end up crying.
He says things that makes me feel "I am not enough!"
This is a pattern I haven't been able to decode or break in my life.
Now, I am not even sure what I am grateful for about such arguments. What I appreciate!
The underlying reality is I have always been independent, but after marriage, I take him along in each and every aspect of my life. When argument happens, he criticizes me for being dependent on him, shopping too much (lol) and stuff. He makes the same mistakes and say "I forgot!" but when I make those mistakes -- he says things like what's wrong with my brain, how I forget, I always do it, I am so careless etc etc. It hurts me that I feel like never taking his help.
Today is one of those days!
I always have this conversation with my parents, also I feel like I'm not enough when they point out my mistakes, things I could do better,... They say they want to help me and I get it, but the conversation never makes me feel good and I feel like they could communicate better. When I told them, they didn't really understand and got mad. It's always the same but it hurts indeed. I hope I can find something good in the bad.
I hope so too!
I just want to break-free of this pattern.
I want to stay on top of everything with peace and love.
Well this is how it went down today. I still felt really bad so I decided to talk about it with my sister. She also told me that she sometimes feels this way with my parents. And told me how she deals with it, which is a much better coping strategy than mine. She told me to focus on my strengths and point those also out to my parents. For example maybe I forgot to clean my fridge yesterday, but today I made an appointment to discuss my money in the bank and told them about it. This way they can see that what I'm doing isn't all bad and I feel better about myself putting my focus on the things I'm doing right. In this way the argument teached me to feel better about myself even if those arguments happen :)
You only argue when you feel powerless and say things that are not unconditionally accepting to the other when you make them responsible for how you feel and need them to be different so you can feel better. When you feel better you let them off the hook for how you feel and have no interest in arguing because you refuel your feeling of self-empowerment without needing them to change.
They are not capable of making you feel not enough. All negative emotion is self-inflicted. They says things that you choose to focus on the lack of love, lack of acceptance, and lack of worthiness, and when you choose to focus on the lack of what you want you cause yourself to feel negative emotion. The negative emotion is guidance from your Inner Being who does not agree with the thoughts you are thinking in that moment.
You have been making your emotions dependent on them. When you focus on your emotions being independent of them you feel better unconditionally.
Thanks, Brian!! I get what you're saying.
So what should I say or do when they say things that I don't resonate with. I can escape 'cause I have to be under the same floor and walking away from what they are saying would be disrespectful. Or if I choose to move into the new room, I can still hear them.
How should I handle such situation?
" Can it be that some things look negative at first, but are there to help you?"
Good realization. Say you get fired from your job and you feel terrible for a week or so, only to find the job of your dreams the next week. Many things feel bad until you are far enough away to see the bigger picture.
perfect replies Brian and Rogare!!!
Thank you very much I can find some relief in that :)
Are you familiar with the video by Abraham on Youtuble of turn the other cheek? Can someone find it and put it in here please?
This one ?
I didn't knew it but I love it, thank you very much.