My boyfriend and I broke up two months ago and finally got back together this past weekend! :) Prior to our breakup I had never intentionally used the law of attraction and actually did not know much about it. I realized that a couple of my closest friends had been using LOA to manifest many of the things already in their lives, so I decided to try it out. I was so skeptical but gave it a shot. BOY DID IT WORK!
I also want to say that our breakup was terrible - I mean TERRIBLE. I honestly thought we were over for good from how terrible and downright evil we had been towards one another towards the end of the relationship, so I promise whatever the reason for the breakup, the law of attraction WILL work.
So this is how I did it!
1. I cut off all contact. I blocked him on facebook, instagram, snapchat, everything. You personally don't have to do this, but for me, seeing his profile only made me obsessive and jealous and that will make you enter into a state of desperation which is not conducive with getting your ex back - it'll just create resistance.
2. I had to take a step back and assess and accept why we broke up. IT WAS ME! I was obsessive and crazy and had unrealistic expectations. I accused him of cheating and sent SO much negative energy towards the relationship. In the same way that you can manifest success in a relationship, you can also manifest a breakup, which, go figure, I did exactly that.
3. I took back control of my life and I focused 110% on ME! I already KNEW he was coming back so I focused all of my energy on becoming the best version of myself and being the person and the partner that I wanted to be. I got into shape, took care of myself, read a lot, spent time with my family and friends and focused on my career. I laughed a lot and developed a true love for my life. I put myself on a pedestal. I mentally created a beautiful gold pedestal and would get up on that pedestal, and envision myself as my most beautiful, happiest self. In this life, we only have ourselves and the sooner we begin loving and appreciating ourselves for everything we are, the happier we will be! I realize now that my lovely boyfriend was never able to make me happy because I wasn't happy with myself. When you are unhappy inside, nothing external can make you happy. But when you find happiness within your soul, that happiness will spill into every other aspect of your life.
4. I lived my life in gratitude. I wrote in my gratitude journal every single morning and would take a walk outside each day and think of all the things I'm grateful for. I shifted my perspective to an abundance mindset. I saw all of the beautiful blessings in life and oh my goodness, the amount of love and generosity I experience from life now still amazes me. Just this morning, a stranger bought me coffee because he said that he could feel the love of life in my heart and wanted to do something kind for me. TRUST ME, people can feel your energy!
5. I visualized at least once a day. I visualized every single morning after writing in my gratitude journal, as my heart was in a good state, ideal for visualization. I also visualized if I felt like it throughout the day, but did not think too much about it. You do NOT have to visualize all the time for your manifestation to come to life! If anything, visualizing a lot could potentially be detrimental, as it could lead to feelings of desperation and lack.
6. I sent him lots of loving thoughts and lived "as if." Whenever I would think of him I would tell him loving things and send him thoughts of love and warmth. I NEVER EVER sent him any negative thoughts. I believed he was already mine. I never called him my ex and only called him by his name or as "my boyfriend."
7. I let go. I KNOW. It's SO hard. But doing all of the work on myself and focusing on my own growth made me realize a few things:
- I am not the only lucky one! My boyfriend was also lucky to have an amazing girlfriend like me!
- If he is the one, then he is the one. If he is truly mine, then the universe will bring us back together.
I know it's hard, but you have to trust that the universe is doing the absolute best for you.
So here's how everything went down. The week before we got back together, I knew that he'd be coming back soon. I have no idea how, but I knew. I changed his name in my phone back to the pet name I had called him and looked at a picture of him and spoke loving thoughts to it. I cut off all the other men I had been casually dating and told my friends and family that me and him were back together. I needed a favor from him that week so I casually texted him asking if he'd help me out. He happily obliged and asked me to get dinner.
He picked me up and could not stop staring at me. He said that I looked different - that it was like happiness was just radiating from me. At dinner, he also mentioned that I seemed a lot calmer and happier. Eventually, he broke down and told me that he missed me and couldn't imagine his life without me. I laughed it off and changed the topic. He brought it back up and said he missed me every single day of our breakup and thought of me non-stop. He said he constantly felt my presence around him and that being with me in person made him realize he doesn't want another day without me in his life. He asked me to please take him back and I said okay, maybe I kinda miss you, let's try again. We are now back together and honestly, we are so happy. Also the breakup was the best thing in the world because as much as I love him, it made me learn to love myself! I learned how amazing and wonderful I am and that I am the star of my own show, not him!
Also, my boyfriend is not the kind of guy to EVER go back to an ex, or "try again" or anything like that. He is the most stubborn man in the WORLD. He is also not an emotional person, so I'm telling you that this was definitely the work of the universe. If I got him back, you can get your ex back too!
Also, I'm happy to answer any questions if anyone has them! Just remember, the universe is working FOR YOU!!
UPDATE APRIL 2018
Be careful what you wish for! When my ex and I were reunited I was SO excited to share with him how I had grown and to show him how much more positive and mature our relationship could be - unfortunately for us, he did not have the same level of growth.
Things were difficult once again and I chose to break them off, this time around. I had no intentions of actually going back! I kept telling myself "I wish things we could just start over" - I visualized us starting over, from the beginning, us forgetting the pain and putting it behind us.
Something inspired me to reach out to him! I contacted him asking to get coffee and when we did, things felt different. He was shocked that I had wanted to see him, but happy to see me. I mentioned that I missed him, and he said "no, things are different, let's not talk about the past."
We've been on a couple of dates since and have a few more planned. I didn't realize that this is what I wanted, but the universe truly gave me a do-over! I will keep you all posted on any major developments.
Until then, HAPPY MANIFESTING!
UPDATE MAY 2018
So I thought I'd give a little update to you all since there have been some very interesting developments!
I decided to let my boyfriend go, COMPLETELY. I prayed and prayed and prayed and asked the universe for guidance. Shortly afterwards, I mean within days, I met another man. It was very random, very abrupt, but this particular man has literally EVERY. SINGLE. THING. I've asked the universe for...some things I didn't even realize I wanted. I have completely let go of my ex-boyfriend and wish him nothing but the best, but this experience has taught me that the universe truly does know best and it is only when you let go of something and are not attached to it that the best outcome can manifest. Notice that I did not say "I got him back," but that the BEST OUTCOME OCCURRED! It may be hard to hear but sometimes the best outcome is one that we do not think we want, and is actually NOT being with that person, but our resistance and desire to control causes us to block the universe from doing its thing. Stop resisting, stop blocking and TRUST AND BELIEVE that God, the Universe, whatever Higher Power you believe in, is working on creating the absolute BEST for you! And just to remind you all, I pined after this man for EIGHT YEARS, truly thought he was the love of my life, NEVER imagined anyone else taking his place, never imagined feeling those feelings again, but not only was I able to get over it, but am so much happier today. I've truly learned that the Universe knows best and will deliver the absolute best to me because that's what I deserve! Thank you all for being there for me on this journey and supporting my learning and growth during this time! Happy manifesting!
Lots of love,
He's the first guy in 5 years I've come even a LITTLE bit close to being able to have a relationship with AND really liking who seemed to like me back though.
Guys may flirt, but in my case I've noticed they DON'T tend to basically admit their feelings for you and also say that they would love to have a relationship with you. They may compliment you but usually it's been "but I don't want a relationship." But not this guy. Anyway I don't know. I just hope it IS possible for me to find love with ANYONE who is the kind of guy I'd really like to be with. I'm certainly open to it being someone else too it's just that I certainly haven't met anyone else in the last 5 years who I'd want to be in a relationship with and he with me. Although in some cases one side has wanted that but not the other.
I guess time will tell. Just hope there is someone out there for me one day.
Anyway I can but try.
Thanks for answering.
I want to be talking to my ex more since we hung out but I feel like I shouldn’t be the one making moves and iniating texts? Last night I went out with my girls and there were a few times I wanted to text him but I held myself back. In my head, I want to call him and text him and talk like I would if we were back together. I want the closeness back BUT I don’t want to be the pursuer since he left me. I don’t want to act too interested, too quickly. I also know that he is shy and does not speak about feelings ever, (he never did in the relationship either) so if I don’t give him any indication that I would like us to get close again and see where things go, I feel like he may think I’m not interested in anything more and not try. I know you said your ex told you at your first hang out after the break up how much he missed you, etc and my guy just doesn’t talk that way so even if he felt that way, I know he wouldn’t ever say it. I showed him at our hang out that I was having a good time. But now I’m unsure how to act. I also don’t want to iniate contact and have him know he has me. Any ideas on the best way to approach this?
Remember that YOU create your reality. You said "my guy just doesn't talk that way" and "I know he wouldn't say it." You're just reinforcing this to be true by having this belief. My ex was also that way but I knew that anything is possible, so I was very expectant of him coming back to me and he did! My ex has a very extensive dating history and has never gone back to any woman (biggest ego in the universe lol!) and he came back to me twice without me prompting him. So try changing your perspective on this.
I know that this is a serious matter, of course, but you're taking it way too seriously :) You're WAYY too attached. The first time around I had a lot of fun and felt great and my vibration was so high which attracted him back, when I finally started to love myself and REALLY let go, he disappeared, which is exactly what NEEDED to happen for my new guy to come into my life. Just let it go! There is no way that this level of attachment is positive, and it will do nothing but bring down your vibration. Stay focused on you and feeling good! :)
I know how tempting it is but DO NOT contact him! You already know that anyway but the side of you which is "desperate" seems to be seeking approval to do otherwise. What Leila wrote is quite on point, you appear to be obsessing about this and I agree that that's not good. And you must be patient, as Dr. Wayne Dyer used to say "infinite patience produces immediate results". Don't pay too much attention to what's happening right now nor think of how he is/was because as she said that generates resistance. It would be good if you just kept your mind busy by re-reading some LoA books that you may have read and liked. If you need some suggestions I'm sure some of us can provide names and if available, links to read or listen online, there are also tons of free videos on YouTube that you can take advantage of.
Another tool to keep you motivated besides busy is to go to the website of "The Secret", then click on "Stories" and search for relationship ones and read all the ones about getting someone back. Even other unrelated stories that might tell you what worked for others would be good. But you also need to take good breaks from thinking about your relationship, ok?
I LOVED reading success stories on the secret website! :) I know this seems so counter-intuitive but you have to stop thinking about him and you have to focus on your happiness in general. Once you get to a place where you truly feel happy with yourself, it won't matter who is in your life or what is happening, once you get yourself right internally, nothing external will ever be able to affect that. Please remember that he is not the source of your happiness, you are! I agree with Rackie's suggestion, focus on reading LoA books or watching some videos. I have a list of books on my page as well as some other tips if you need some suggestions!
Leila just a couple of things I want to say.
Firstly thank you for replying to my post and directing me to your post here. Even though it's a crush not an
ex for me what you said and did is really really inspiring and encouraging! I also love how you attracted him, two exes from
before also popped up AND also a new better guy!! Plus it reminded me that yes people CAN focus on a specific person and also get someone even better!!
I'm also really curious about two of the books you mention on your book list and
your experiences with them! I use things based a bit on one of them and readthe other ages ago, remembered about it
recently and I'm so curious about your experiences with both books!
Which books are you wondering about?
The Complete Works of Neville Goddard
Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain.
Leila & Rackie,
You both are right! Sometimes I don't realize how I am being (overly attached/desperate) until I hear it from someone else. Right now, I am going to focus on self-love and my happiness. For me, those things do not come easy or natural. I have never had self-love before and have always been very insecure -- so I know it will be a process-- but I have been working towards it every day - I truly do believe getting things right with me internally is what I need to do!! Thanks for your words of advice!! =)
I'd love to know more - and I'll read through some of the other posts above this on the subject too -or maybe start a new post - about the role of self love in feeling better, in manifesting and in also in attracting love into our lives!
I'm on that journey too, Melinda. Maybe doing it in a different way but I can relate a lot to what you said here!