Hi all I’m looking for some views from an LOA perspective on my situation at the moment.
i still live at home with my parents and my brother. I am saving to move out, I’ve just finished studying - but at the minute this is my reality.
i would like some insight as to what in my energy attracts horrible altercations with my younger brother who gets extremely verbally abusive - this really makes me feel like absolute crap. He’s done it time and time again and I’ve forgiven every time but I’m not willing to be treated the way I am by him.
How am I attracting this!? I don’t get treated this way by anyone else and never have so why does he think it’s acceptable to be abusive to me?
Don't blame yourself, if your brother is going insane for no apparent reason it's never your fault,.
Learn to take it as a challenge, something that is testing your tenacity to hold your composure even during most difficult situations in your life. It's only making you stronger and it would help you immensely if by any chance you will get into a profession of a flight attendant or anything similar.
Keep it cool and diligently use your presence of mind.
Treat is wisely, simple as that.
Please don't blame yourself for what you're going through. We all experience difficult times, and it's not necessarily our fault. What's important is that we can turn those difficult times around.
I advise you to approach this the way you want to. You asked why you're attracting this, and if you want to or feel like pinpointing the reason will make you feel better, that's a route you can take.
As for what you can do to turn this situation around, start by entertaining the possibility of him being gentle and sweet; from experience, it's better to focus on what you want, instead of trying to focus on what you don't want happening. That sounds pretty obvious, but what I mean is: instead of wanting your brother to not be abusive, think of what you'd want him to be like instead -- perhaps calm, kind or tender.
Even as a stranger, I can tell you that no innocent person deserves abuse, especially not from a family member. If you could, maybe get a third party involved just to ease things, whilst you work on your self inwardly.
Okay so a few thing here. Your brother is not in your power or control but your responses or reactions are. You can choose to give him power or not. He can do all he can but at the end of the day you are the one who decides to feel like crap or not. You see, when you decide that you will not be at the impact of others, it doesn’t matter what they do – they cannot get a reaction out of you because you literally rise above it.
Now he probably doesn’t realise the extent of his actions. That’s no excuse at all, but simply pointing out the obvious to you. You see often people are so wrapped up in their own little worlds that they don’t recognise the effects. So what can you do in this situation, firstly and foremost it sounds like you have decided enough is enough and it doesn’t work for you. Excellent. Now when he does this again you have to let him know in no uncertain circumstances that you are not accepting it. Secondly tell someone. If you are still at home, tell your parents how this behaviour is making you feel – as they can help you out big time here and prevent this from happening. Second start to have confidence in yourself and your abilities too. This is easier said than done, but recognise that (a) you don’t treat people like this and (b) if he treated someone else this way he’d be liable to get a smack or a punch and that’s probably the reason he is doing this to you – because he knows you won’t do this. However, get your parents on side. Communicate to them whats happening, how its making you feel and ask for help. You may be pleasantly surprised by the results.
Sweet Ami, this great & hilarious video with Oprah can give you clarity & strength:
Much Love, Light & Magic*****
Thank you all so much. Challenge is an understatement! Xxx
Well rather than call it a challenge why not relabel it an "opportunity" instead?
These 2 great women and their videos can really help you:
Thank you so much ❤️ We had a talk today and smoothed things over - he said he understands his behaviour is wrong at times, he is on his own journey and I hope he will learn how to handle his emotions in a better way - which I explained to him.
You’re all great x