How to be happy? Just fed up with circumstances not changing, yet everyone else in my reality seems fine. Loving partners, jobs, cars, friends etc and i have none of it despite knowing LOA for 8 years. It just doesn’t make sense. I ask people what they believe and how they think and feel and its the opposite of what you would expect to attract things. Moany, negative and have self esteem problems and are always banging on about the same thing never letting ho but they still get it sooner or later. How? And how to be happy knowing you will never get any of it?
I have been forcing things to change, so I have more trust they will. Law of Attraction seems to be easier when I believe part of my effort is making the changes too. Think, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
“Moany, negative and have self-esteem problems, and are always banging on about the same thing never letting go but they still get it sooner or later.”
They are a perfect example, that getting what you want does not create happiness.
Which means, your happiness does not come from the stuff.
And also means, your unhappiness doesn’t come from not having the stuff.
Your emotions come from your thoughts, not the conditions.
You can’t be happy at first You’re trying to reach for an emotion you don’t gave access to.
But you can feel a little relief. You can focus more on making peace with and accepting where you are. Meditating more, and doing other things, just because they help you feel better.
Do you possibly have dyslexia?
Hi Laura, no I don't have dyslexia. Why did you ask that?
“External circumstances can make you happy.”
It’s your thoughts about them that make you happy.
For example, two people could get cookie dough ice cream, and that makes one person happy, and one person not happy. The only way the same circumstance could cause two different emotional reactions, is based on the difference in the individual’s perception of it. Otherwise, both people would be forced to feel the same way, about the same condition.
Also, when you believe circumstances can make you happy, then you also practice the disempowering belief that circumstances can make you unhappy. That reinforces your feelings of powerlessness. When you understand your happiness comes from your thoughts, then you feel empowered, because you always have control over that.
“I began volunteering 2 days a week at a primary school and I absolutely love it. It has made me happy and takes my mind off things and stops me overthinking.”
Your thoughts about it made you happy, you just didn’t realize that is what you were doing.
If you went in to work, and focused most of your attention on everything you don’t like about it, you would quickly be unhappy. The job wouldn’t’ have changed, only your perception of it would have.
When you think about what you don’t want, you offer resistance and feel worse. The job helps you focus on what you do want, which stops you from thinking about what you don’t want, and that is why you feel better.
“I would be so happy if I met the guy of my dreams.”
As a teacher, if a student came to you and said, “I am unhappy because I am single. I can’t be happy until I’m in a relationship. If I just got the man of my dreams, then I would be so happy!”
What would you tell her? That her happiness is dependent on the man and the relationship?
“. . . it just gets boring on my own.”
You feel bored when you focus more on what you don’t want, than what you do want.
“I did make peace with where I was about a year ago.”
When you are making peace today, you won’t feel bored.
“I had desires but I wasn’t bothered if I never got them. So why didn’t I attract them?”
You attracted feeling relaxed and satisfied, which is what you really want.
You didn’t attract them because either you weren’t feeling satisfied, or what you wanted wasn’t a match to your satisfaction.
“I was so happy driving and spent lots of money on theory, lessons, building confidence and was almost ready to pass and then this happens?”
You were basing your happiness on the outcome. You weren’t happy, just for the sake being happy. You needed that happiness to lead to something. You were practicing conditional happiness, instead of unconditional happiness, and feeling good regardless.
“You can’t go through life thinking everything is okay when it isn’t and you don’t have anything.”
Agreed, because that is too different from your current practiced thoughts. That is why you focus on feeling a little better, which is different than feeling good, or thinking everything is okay. You can’t think everything is okay when it’s not, but you can help yourself feel a little better.
For example, when you feel depressed, you can focus on feeling anger and blame, because that helps you feel better.
“What really annoyed me is I put so much effort into it.”
You only feel annoyed when you put effort (i.e. action you don’t enjoy) if you wanted that effort to lead to a specific outcome. When you’re doing something you enjoy, with no insistence in an outcome, you’re satisfied in the journey, then you don’t view anything as a waste, because you got the manifestation you really wanted, which was satisfying action.
“LOA should have given me an advantage to pass.”
Yes, when you have no need in a specific outcome. That’s a key part. Being unconditional, and feeling better regardless of the outcome.
“Put themselves down, but they attract lots of stuff, which is what really frustrates me.”
Your frustration is guidance from Source, that you are thinking about what you don’t want. Thinking, “Why are they supported and being negative, but I’m not, and I was positive? This is bullshit! Maybe I’ll just start being negative like them and get more stuff.”
“Knowing of the LOA too, I felt like a god, that I could do anything and I don’t have anything.”
An essential part of understanding the Law of Attraction is, it is about being unconditional. Unconditional emotion.
It’s not, “I’m going to feel better, so that I can get my stuff, change the conditions and get the outcomes I want.” (This is what a lot of people believe).
It’s, “I’m going to feel better, and feel relief, because nothing is more important than how I feel.”
Well said Brian!
Emmeline, if you want to consider other people's life just take that only to be inspired, these 2 guys are very inspirational: