I went through some traumatic experiences when I was younger and there were lots of repressed emotions from it. I've cleared a lot of that away by letting myself feel and release the emotions, but I still have a lot of mental blocks/emotional blocks because of it. Anyone have any good ways to release that sort of stuff without getting caught up in the negative energy? I want to avoid doing what a lot of Abers call "happy face stickering" which is basically when you pretend not to feel the way you feel - but at the same time it's sort of draining to have to let myself feel all the emotions one by one.
These is a video on youtube by Teal Swan that someone else recommended on this forum a while back. It's called "Spiritual Bypassing" and it talks about the danger of what you're referring to, the "happy face stickering". It makes things even worse if you try to stuff down your real emotions. If you are AFRAID of feeling negativity, that is negativity itself, because it's something you are afraid of, and fear is a negative emotion.
I think in this instance the saying "time heals all wounds" applies to some degree. I don't agree that it heals wounds to the extent that you don't have them anymore, but they lose their continuous hold on you. You say it's draining dealing with the emotions one by one, but you will come to a point where something finally "clicks" and you feel emotionally the things you have probably been telling yourself logically. For instance, you can't go back in the past and change what happened. Some people on this forum have wanted to, but that too is a form of "spiritual bypassing", replacing your pain and anger with an obsession to to back and change things. It is only prolonging the agony. I used carbs to prolong my agony. Finally you have to ACCEPT, not just in your head but through your entire being, that it happened and can't be undone. That will be a breakthrough. Maybe it's already happened for you. Then you have to KNOW, and ACCEPT, that it wasn't your fault. I know part of the LOA teachings is that we bring negative experiences on ourselves, and as adults I think a lot of times people who are attracting negative experiences as adults are actually continuously acting out patterns from their childhoods that they haven't yet dealt with. So even though you aren't doing it on purpose, your vibrational level is that of an abuse victim, and it does draw negative experiences to you. But I personally don't think you can blame a child for abuse they go through. Of course if you wanted to go really deep, some people would say that we choose the life situation we're going to born into so that we can grow spiritually and maybe that's true. But still, as a human child on this earth, with no memory of what happened before you were born, you can't blame yourself. And that is something you have to really feel, in your bones, that it wasn't your fault. There is a scene in Good Will Hunting, where Robin Williams is a psychiatrist and Matt Damon is undergoing therapy for child abuse, and Robin Williams tells him, "It wasnt your fault." and Matt Damon says, "Yeah, I know,"without any emotion. And Robin Williams says again, "It wasn't your fault." and Damon is like, "Yeah, I know." And Williams says again, "It wasn't your fault," and Damon says ,"Yeah, I know! " starting to get upset. You should watch that scene. Williams' character just keeps saying it until he gets Damon past "knowing" intellectually to the point where he "knows" emotionally that it really wasn't his fault.
So you need to accept that it can't be changed, and let go of self-blame. And let yourself feel the pain. Don't worry about what it's doing to your vibrational level. You have to get through it eventually. Tears can be very cleansing for the system. They actually wash a certain chemical out of your body that causes stress! The more you really give in to the pain and anger and negativity, let yourself feel it, the faster it's going to go away. But you also need to be positive in other ways, like hope for the future, and also thinking about the fantastic life you are going to create for yourself. So that is negativity that you CAN let go of, even while feeling the pain from your past. You can let go of negativity in your present life and future life. Focus on the good things right now, even if you're just walking down the street and you see flowers in hanging baskets on someone's porch---stop and enjoy them and think about all the beauty that exists in the world. So you aren't trying to rewrite your past and pretend it didn't happen, and you aren't trying to repress the pain, but at the same time, you are opening yourself up to positive emotions in the present, like appreciating beauty, focusing on when people are kind to you, etc. The things that happened to you as a child affected your system and really took hold. But as an adult, when someone just says something nasty to you and you haven't even done anything to them, you can either hold on to it and replay it in your head all day, or you can just think, "That has nothing to do with me, it's all about them and their issues, "and let it go. You can change how you react in the present and not let your childhood thought patterns interfere, thinking you must have done something to provoke that person, All of this takes time and reflection, realizing how what happened to you in the past affects how you react to things now. But if you focus on learning from your experiences and feeling the pain once and for all and getting through it, you can still change your vibrational level.
One thing you will have to deal with though is that sometimes you will probably still be triggered, and you have to be prepared for it. You'll think you've worked through your issues and then something happens in your current life, and it brings something up from the past. But if you're prepared for it, you can get through it and move on. Don't see it as a permanent setback, just think of it as something inevitable and temporary.
A big issue is TRUST. Children who were abused can have trust issues, and it can be difficult to wrap your mind around how much the Universe loves you and wants you to have good things. Not being able to quite believe it, even subconsciously, can put up resistance. Also, you may not really feel that you deserve the life you want and that can put up resistance too. Abused children are brainwashed into thinking that they deserve to be mistreated.
I read a book once about child abuse that said, "What happened to you had nothing to do with you. It had to do with drama that's been going on in your family for generations." I recently did some genealogical research and turned up some amazing things in old newspaper articles and divorce papers, and I was like, "It really didn't have anything to do with me!"
I hope this helps. I'm not sure if I answered your question exactly but hopefully you can get something out of this.
Brianna, thank you so much for the amazing, thoughtful post. This resonated with me so much - I can't even tell you how much. You hit the nail on the head with everything and it was exactly what I needed to read. These are some of the exact things I've struggled with. It's true that when you're abused, you eventually start to think you deserve to be treated that way. Thank you so much for this insightful post! I'm going to re-read it and make sure to internalize the message.
I'm so glad it helped!
Just write down what you DO want......in every minute detail and focus on that!
Yes, sticking a happy face on it is like wallpapering over old cracks. You have two perspectives - the one that created this post (the one with the blocks) and one that knows about these blocks. One is your ego perspective, the other is your conscious perspective (Consciousness, Being, Inner Being, Spirit, etc).
Your ego is your belief in your 'self-image' - what you think about yourself. However, if you really think about it, rationally, your self-image doesn't really exist. After all it is a self-IMAGE. If you can get your head around the fact that all your opinions about yourself are not real, you will drop your ego and naturally slip into Being, which is where you need to be to make changes.
The ego perpetuates. Consciousness creates.
Trying to change your life from an ego perspective is like putting new wine into old bottles, or again, wallpapering over cracks. It only serves to perpetuate what 'is' and nothing ever changes.