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When people want to move on they mean, “How can I move forward knowing they won’t return the love I have for them?” That lets you know you were loving so you’d receive it in return. Love quid pro quo. This experience, as painful as it was, helped you understand you were practicing conditional love. You can only feel hurt if you have strings attached. You’re now awakening to the freedom and self-empowerment of unconditional love.

You don’t feel heartbroken because they didn’t love you back. You feel it because you needed them to so that you could love yourself. You needed them to give you a reason to love. When they left, your self-love left. Focusing on what you want left. And that is why you feel hurt.

Heartbreak is really focusbreak. You have broken your focus on your heart and what makes you feel good.

When you make your love conditional, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak. They act the way you want, you feel good. Act the way you don’t want, you don’t feel good. That’s what causes breakups. You place impossible expectations on them to behave only in ways you want so you can feel good. And to be fair, if you have that expectation of them, they probably have the same for you.

This results in you wanting to change their behavior, but that doesn’t work too well because no one likes feeling limited. So they push back, and then you push back for them pushing back. It creates an unnecessary argument because both of you do not feel accepted and the freedom to be yourselves.

You feeling loved in the relationship is your job, not theirs.

The other person can’t make you feel loved because they can’t control your thoughts. Which means the opposite is also true. They didn’t break your heart. You did it to yourself and gave them the credit.

“I feel guilty over how I ended the relationship and completely broke his heart.”

You believe you’re responsible for his emotions. So because you did something he felt hurt by, you think it was your fault. But you have no control over what he chooses to do with his thoughts. You’re not capable of making them feel accepted or rejected. You didn’t break his heart. He did it to himself and you chose to take the blame (i.e. feel guilty).

If you feel bad when you love someone, you’re focused on lack, not love. Love feels good. Lack feels wack.

You giving love is not contingent on whether you receive it. Not to mention the simple fact you can’t control if, when or how much someone loves you. You do it with no worries or concern if you’re in a relationship or not. You’re not looking to them to feel secure, you’ve got that covered. You give yourself an abundance of validation and support. And when you don’t care if the other person feels the same way because you’ve already emotionally satisfied yourself, you allow them to.

When you don’t hold them accountable for your good feelings, they like being around you because they feel their freedom when they’re with you. They want to be with someone who’s not trying to control them. They’ll feel they can be themselves around you and be more willing to continue the relationship. But even if they don’t, you still feel good.

You’re not sad because the relationship ended. You’re sad because you have a new relationship with yourself and others that’s ready to begin and you’re not allowing it. You holding yourself back from what is ready for you is why you’re sad. You could only feel that bad because you’re depriving yourself of the good you deserve.



For further guidance, I do coaching calls and e-mails. For more info, see my Profile Page.

 


Previous Posts:

1) Speeding Up Manifestations . . . Why?

2) ‘Man’ifesting Unavailable Men

3) How to Break the Breakup Cycle, and Attract the Relationship You Want

 

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You’re not sad because the relationship ended. You’re sad because you have a new relationship with yourself and others that’s ready to begin and you’re not allowing it. 

One of the best things I've read. Very profound and insightful as always, thank you Brian! Having you around is such a huge blessing!

Hi Brian

Thankyou as iam going through this now. 

Everything you have said is so true Brian.  Wow, i never thought of it like that, i am sad because having a new relationship with myself.  Hmmm, profound.  Right now feeling dark in thoughts.

You are spot on with

You believe you’re responsible for his emotions. So because you did something he felt hurt by, you think it was your fault. But you have no control over what he chooses to do with his thoughts. You’re not capable of making them feel accepted or rejected. You didn’t break his heart. He did it to himself and you chose to take the blame (i.e. feel guilty).

If you feel bad when you love someone, you’re focused on lack, not love. Love feels good. Lack feels wack.

I was believing i was responsible for his pain, for him being disrespectful to me.  Yes and I have been feeling bad and therefore lack appeared :(

L'immagine può contenere: sMS

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