His families told him do not ever see me again, and would never allow me in their house. They seemed to hate me a lot. That was something started from my BF, because he did very bad things, so i lost emotional control and acted very childish. So his families spreaded my behavior to each other, and within a night, everybody knew it.
My BF told me it is not reversible any more, but he told me like 100 times that " it is the end " in the past even on those small things, and each time I applied to LOA to get him back, it worked!! So in general, we are always trying to make our relationship work, and we are getting better too.
But this time, his families were concerned in, most of them haven't seen me yet, but heard from the rumors, they seemed to hate me a lot. BF's friends even told my BF, if he sees me again, they will not be friends any more.
Can it be reversed??? My BF told me he didn't care about my behaviors actually, because he is okay with that, but he can't accept when all his families were rejecting me.
My BF also apologized to me of what he did, but he said my childish reaction went much farer than what he did. His families cannot accept.
What to do now?? I know how to apply to LOA, but in this situation, is it also possible when so many of his families are concerned, what can i expect?
Please help!!!!!!!! I love his families actually very much, but never thought they would know me from the rumors!!! Please help!
THANK YOU ALL & LOVE
Thank you for the answer,
But his families didn't know what he did, they only saw my reactions on my BF's lies and cheats, and everybody hated me. But I also got hurt of what my BF did to me. I was actually just making fun of my bf because he told me i can do whatever i wanted, but then one of his families just spreaded the rumor to everyone.
Abraham Hicks said in this occasion, i may need to ignore the facts, and think/ feel what i want to get, then the viberation would come. I know it is not the way to manipulate people, but I really want to be with my BF,
will that work? For example I influence my BF, and my BF can influence his families and they can accept me.
I don't want to manipulate anyone, i just want to be with my BF, will it still work???? He said he also wanted to be with me, but now his families hate me.
For example I influence my BF, and my BF can influence his families and they can accept me.
I don't want to manipulate anyone
Those statements seem really contradictory. You want to manipulate, but you don't want to manipulate.
If you want to resolve your relationship, then resolve it how relationships should be resolved. If you want to be together, then be together and progress as a couple. He is your man, so HE is the one that needs to deal with his family and put them back in line. That's how it works. You don't bring your problems to friends/families or else you always end up with this type of situation. He will need to explain what HE had been doing to cause such issues, and then draw the line in the sand because you're his woman.
As for yourself, you didn't tell us the exact situation, so it's hard to gauge your reaction to it. From what it sounded like, he cheated on you with another woman? If so, feel free to freak out on him. You have ever right to be upset in that type of situation. However, if it was something that doesn't really matter (for example, he left a sock on the floor), then it doesn't warrant an outburst. Even further, if he is the type that cheats on you, then you're in the wrong relationship to begin with.
Thanjk you Darth
Yes i found out a lot on him, but i always trust what he eplained, he said those girls were from long past ago. Even though i can't prove his words, but i still choose to believe. Because i know i want to be with him, there is no doubt of this.
But i did something which aroused a big effect within his families and friends. I didn;t cheat back , i just made fun of what he did because i lost control at that moment.
I hope you don't trying to persuade me he is not the type to be with, can you just give some practical ways on how to reverse the situation or how to earn them back.
As you said,
He is your man, so HE is the one that needs to deal with his family and put them back in line. That's how it works.
I already communicate with BF, he said he will still defend me to his family, But he cannot accept me any more( before i always got him back, because he wanted to be with me too ), his families cannot accept neither.
So now his families also influence him... Do you have any practical ways as an advice to make it work for our relationship?
Thank you for your attention very much.. X
The first thing you need to do is this: look after you.
I know that's tricky considering the situation and how much you had wanted your boyfriend back and you want his family to approve of you. There is nothing wrong with that. It's completely human nature, but what is truely going to make a difference in this situation is you.
You've acknowledged you've done a lot of crap, and that's a good start. You've taken that first step. That is what matters the most. That first step changes everything. Now from what I have read in previous posts with your ex, the break up was pretty bad. You were hurt very deeply. You don't need me to repeat going over what happened post-breakup. It was pretty damn bad, and you know if you could change the past, you would have taken the chance. What's done is done.
From what I know in LOA, you can't use it to influence or control people. You can only use LOA to change "YOUR" own life. Honestly, in this case, it seems like that would be in your best favor. Think of LOA as a tool to help improve you to be the best version of you. Someone that you see yourself being, and strive for that.
I'll tell you myself. You are not the only one with a situation like this. I've had something similar, but within my family. Years ago, I was young and stupid, that I can acknowledge. Looking back on it, I realized how much hurt I caused and how big my mistakes were. At the time, I was not thinking things through. In the aftermath, in the minds of my family, I had "betrayed" them. I regretted the things I did. I used to beat myself up for years, but coming into my own I realized that trying to win someone's approval is detrimental to you. Your own approval for yourself is the most valuable. Not anyone else's whether it's a friend, lover, or even family.
In the end, I prayed for forgiveness and accepted my past. I let it go to God. I accepted my past and used that as a tool to shape me into the better version of me that I knew was out there. Eventually, time passed and I forgot about it, which was a surprise considering it was my family. One day, I got an unexpected text message. I was in shock. I couldn't believe it. The family member that I had hurt the most - the one I was close to the most - contacted me. He wanted to see how he was doing. He was able to forgive me.
That was back in 2015. I had hurt him in 2012. Time had basically flown by. I had no idea that he would be around in my life again.
Two years later in 2017, more members of family had come to me, wanting to see me. Time had healed and it felt like I had a clean slate. They've forgave me and want a relationship with me again.
What helped me is that I just continued to focus on improving myself and being a better person. Instead of hitting myself so much with a brick wall of what I had done wrong, I ignored the bad and focused on the good. I let go of the situation.
I am sure that you are a lovely person. That you have your strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else. Right now, just breathe and get yourself in room where you are alone. Be alone with your thoughts with no distractions. Acknowledge the fact that you already know the situation, but you know that you are not going to let this get to you. You know who you are as a person, and the old "you" isn't you anymore. There are people that care about you, and I think your boyfriend is that considering he is in a new relationship with you. You also have your own friends and family too. Keep focus on that and not on the negative with your bf's family.
In regards to rumors, people are gonna say shit. Sad, but it's true. If you let that get to you, all of that negative and bad stuff is going to ruin the effort you put into in getting yourself better again. Focus on you and your own happiness and all the good stuff with your boyfriend. If you want to, tell your boyfriend to send a letter with a heartfelt apology inside for them to read. After that, just let it go and let all the hows and worrying stuff to God (or the universe).
Keep yourself in the center and treat yourself well. That is the best thing you can do in this situation. If you believe that things are going to work out, in most cases, they do work out. Don't worry about the bf's friends or family. Look out for you.
There is also a little advice that has helped me so much. In any situation, you can respond in two ways: react or respond. React means you just do whatever you feel in that first instinct. Emotional response like in what happened in your past. Respond in stopping for a second, looking at the situation and thinking things through. Creating a higher and healthy control of your emotions will definitely help to make that transition for me. It took work, but it has helped me a lot. I have high hopes it would help you too.
I am not an expert and nor do I claim to have a magic solution. I am just showing you what has happened to me through my own experience. I just want you to know and feel secure in the fact that you're not the only one who has had that kind of situation. You are not alone. Like I said, I went through it. It was hell, but I made it through and it made me stronger.
This will make you hella stronger too. I definitely hoped this helps.
Mallie... u are just super expert honey... well said ... We are blessed to get such a lovely response from you :) god bless you dear ....
Hi Mallie, Thank you so much for this long-written post. i was busy when i first saw it, so now i m home and gonna reply to you. You have such a good heart, when you see my help, you came here and told me your stories and gave me the confidence. And I also appreciate you went to see my previous threads , which is spending time in knowing about me and my stories. I am so encouraged by you have overcame the family issues.
I am sorry i typed a long text, then somehow is gone. I will write later as now i need to sleep.
Love and bless
Vortician and Mallie are right! They basically said most of the things I wanted to say to I'd just add a little bit more in hopes that this would help you out.
1. Start sending his family/friends love (visualize yourself being accepted by them, I have read a success story on a very similar situation and what she did was that she would write letters to herself as if it was from her bf's family saying how much they appreciate her..)
2. Stop thinking that they hate you. Think of it as a misunderstanding and BELIEVE that they will soon see the real you (the loving, caring, mature you)
3. Don't stress out too much about it, be happy thinking that they love you because deep down inside you know they WILL and they DO!
4. KEEP WORKING ON YOURSELF. keep your positive vibes way way up. learn and grow from this experience.
I've read your success stories and all your threads and you've been giving me hopes and motivation to get my love back. I know he is coming to me! So Sweetbobolove, you've made it this far, I know you can do it! You can win the love of his family!
Best of luck to you
Sending you all my love!
Thank you so much, when i read your post, i felt happy you said my success storied helped you, and you also saw how i thrived to get my LOVE back, and when you said
So Sweetbobolove, you've made it this far, I know you can do it! You can win the love of his family!
I cried on that.. Thank you so much for the encouragements.
Just had conversations with BF, (now it is EX ), It's not only His family hating me, but BF said because i let his so many of families get angry and sad, he also hates me now,..
And it gets pretty worse now, i think the life of living with BF together has become so hopeless now. I always made efforts when my BF said it's end to me, he also had his problems but i never ever quit our relationship. And luckily we always worked out to be together later. No matter how many times he blocked me or how many times he said broke up...
But this time, there were his families , people who he loved concerned.. I felt like a mountain to climb..
I really hope i can find the right path to let us work again... And I wish you all the best luck in getting your LOVE back, you can do it!
if you ignore all your doubts long enough , then they are not part of your vibrational frequency.
we love ya!
Thank you so much... But how can i reverse it.... i felt so bad now.. i actually love his mom a lot, really really love her..
But now the rumor went so bad, everybody of his family hated me, stopped him seeing me.. what can i do?? I don't know if i can still reverse it...
Before my BF often said no to me, and said it's end, but i somehow always made it work... but now his families and friends are like a mountain for me to climb..
I felt hurt too, because i was actually treating my BF pretty well, but i got too angry at him how i was being treated by him, so i did something, and now i messed up.
i experienced really frequent of using LOA to get my EX back, over 500 days using it, and now it got this , can i still be accepted...
Still remember last time you encouraged me i can gert what i want, and indeed i made effort i got what i want! But what about this time.. >< i m so sad because bf's mama hated me, i am crying
I wanted to ask you something : did you stop doing what you were doing to get him back in the first place ? appreciating, loving yourself etc ? or not ? I mean did you make effort to hold your vibration ?
And for the rest I would say ask the universe once and go on with your life, loving yourself and trusting your feelings. What will happen, will happen and know that the universe always has your back in any kind of situation (even if it feels like it's not)