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I keep trying to by positive and do a pretty good job of it until I get home. My husband always sees the negative things and brings me down. Like today, I had a job interview, felt great until I got home. All he could do was bring up negative things about taking the job. How do I get past that and continue to be positive?

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It's hard to live with someone who is always negative. Negativity can be contagious! I was married to that type of person for 17 years. Eventually I had enough and left. I am not suggesting you do that. Just know that what he is saying is really about him and his issues. He is projecting his issues onto you. His words really have nothing to do with you, so don't allow him to bring you down! Ignore the negative stuff he says, and stay focused on the positives. That can be contagious too!

Good luck and best wishes!
Kim :)

PS This kind of behavior can also be a sign of a controlling or manipulative nature. Some people just can't be happy for anyone else but themselves and will sabotage the happiness of others- either consciously or subsconsciously. If you find that is the case, I would urge you to seek some counseling (and urge him as well).
I agree with Prairie Girl, that sometimes we have to move away from negative people. But there is a great section in the Abraham teachings about being positive around negative spouses, it involves writing down all the things you love about them and spending some time each day thinking about that.

Or doing "segment intending" which is saying phrases beginning with "wouldnt it be nice if ..." before you meet up with them. ie "Wouldnt it be nice if my spouse was in a good mood today", "wouldnt it be nice if he/she says something positive today", "wouldnt it be nice if we have a good conversation today that makes us both laugh". Then watch the magic happen !

love and light Gen
All you can control, is what is in your head. Allow your spouse to be who he is. If you stay committed to your relationship, and your own growth, he will eventually see and feel your changes, and become interested. Very rarely do both people in a relationship evolve with the same agenda or circumstances.

For now, you can stop being negative in your thoughts about him.

Like Kim said, negativity is contagious so I ask have you had a conversation with your spouse about this? Can you talk openly about how his focusing on the negatives is affecting you? If you can that is great, if you can't then try to take some time to let go of taking his views and opinions and feelings on board. You don't have to own them and it really is OK for him to feel negative, you don't have to fix that, you only have to own what you believe and feel. One suggestion I do when I am around some who is negative is I simply go into another room. And generally they will eventually let the negative vibe go especially if I don't join in. My best to you and good luck with the job.

Send him to me!! ;-))) lol
YOU create your reality. No-one else. If you define your reality as - I have a super loving supportive life-partner, one of the following two WILL happen - either this man will be replaced by a new supportive life-partner, or this man will change and become positive towards you. This will happen without any effort by you.
Q: I’m new to this work. I’ve been doing it for about six months or so,
and I’ve been doing the workshop and the meditation, which is wonderful.
And one of the problems that I have is that my husband - who is
wonderful, I adore him - but he’s very negative, and I’ll do my morning
meditation and I do my workshop, and I just am elated and in total
appreciation of the Universe, and I’m totally high and I’ll go back in
and he’s Mr. Grumpy. And I’m….

Abe: Well, the good news is his vibration can’t get into you. So
whatever you are doing that is bringing you to that place of feeling
good cannot be affected by his vibration, he cannot assert it into your

Q: Right.

Abe: And so if you acknowledge him for a moment - you walk in, he’s Mr.
Grumpy, it really hits you hard because he’s in such a different place
than you are. And you take the hit, and out of it you launch a rocket
of desire which goes something like, “Gee, I wish he’d feel better. I
wish he could find some of the joy I’m finding. I wish he felt as happy
in this moment as I do.” And then you turn your full attention to this
desire that’s been born out of this experience, and you forget who he is
and instead pretend he is this so that you let him stimulate your
vibration relative to him in a way that feels good to you. And with a
little bit of practice, you can begin seeing him as he really is, not as
he temporarily is.

Q: Okay.

Abe: In other words, he doesn’t like feeling grumpy any more than you
like him feeling grumpy, but here’s the thing: so here you stand, let’s
say you’ve been meditating, you’ve been walking, you’re feeling really
good. You come in and, under normal circumstances, if you were just
following your bliss you would just keep running, you wouldn’t even stop
at that house where the grumpy one is. (Laughter from audience.)
Because it’s not a vibrational match to who you are. But you have this
obligation, in other words you have this commitment, you have this paper
that says you live there and so (more laughter) you stop there, you defy
the guidance that is within you and you do what you ‘should’ do rather
than what your guidance would encourage you to do otherwise. In other
words, don’t you find yourself making as many excuses as you can to do
all the other things that feel good and then you sort of drag yourself
home because the and so there you are. You’ve been hit with the
negative vibration, or with the different vibration, and it doesn’t feel
very good, and now in that moment you have a choice: which thought
feels better?

So now you can look at him as he is, and as you address it, whether
you’re saying ‘yes’ to it or ‘no’ to it or you’re saying ‘this is what
it is’ - it does not matter whether you’re making any judgment about it
or not - as you observe his vibration, whatever it is, it begins to be
included in your vibration.

Q: Yeah.

Abe: And you begin to feel the drowning of your cork, you begin to feel
the lowering of your vibration, you begin to feel the separation of you
from your Source energy. And then the impulse for most - we’re not
feeling it much in you, you’re using light and fluffy sweet-like words
about this grumpy darling (laughter) - as you acknowledge that he is
the temporary reason that you are not as connected to your Source energy
as you once were. Now here’s where your choice comes in.
You can call that a bad thing and really be unhappy about it, or you can
acknowledge that he is just a particle of the Universe that has achieved
his vibration in whatever way he has and let him vibrate however he
chooses while you fill your head or your mind or your day with thoughts
that feel better to you. And what will begin to happen is you will be
living in your endless loop while he is living in his endless loop, and
one or the other of you will then make the decision to join the other.

Q: Right. Part of what I - and I’m a fixer, probably a typical woman,
I want to help people, sort of… so I want to fix him, I want to share
with him my delight and my joy, and I know that’s part of where the
problem is, going in and….

Abe: Well, the problem with that, you see, nothing is more annoying to
the one being fixed (laughter) than to be in the place of not feeling
very good and have some bright-eyed, bushy-tailed person trying to fix
them. In other words, nobody wants to learn that they’re the creator of
their own reality when they’re in a place they don’t like being. In
other words, you’re wanting to watch for his time of connection before
you offer - in other words, here’s the rule of thumb: talk endlessly to
your mate as long as you are feeling good while you are talking.

Q: Okay.

Abe: In other words, share with him endlessly as long as you are feeling
good. And the most important thing that we would say to you about this
specific person is he is finding his own way of connecting, and his way
may not be your way, and it doesn’t make his way wrong or your way right
or other way around. Because you are both wanting the same thing. We
promise you that there is not anything that he would want for you more
than for you to be joyful. But sometimes when a person is really joyful
and you want to be joyful but aren’t, their joy just reminds you that
you’re not where you want to be. And the response looks like they don’t
really want you to be joyful when if you were to ask him, he wants your
joy as much as he wants life itself. He loves the fact that you are
joyful. And so what you have to do is not give so much attention to how
he’s feeling.

In other words, how he’s feeling is really much less of your business
than you think that it is. Don’t give so much of your attention to how
he’s feeling. Let your attention be about how you’re feeling. And
now here’s where it becomes a little complex, but here’s where the
answer is: “How am I feeling about how you’re feeling?” (Laughter.)
“How am I feeling about how you’re feeling? Well, you’re feeling
crummy, and now I’m feeling crummy about your feeling crummy, which
means you now have power in my experience.”
And so what you’re wanting ‘ you’re wanting to feel good about him
feeling crummy. Now, how can you feel good about him feeling crummy?
(Laughter.) By understanding that it’s temporary, by understanding that
he’s not always [feeling crummy], by understanding that you sometimes
feel crummy too but that you can raise your vibration, by understanding
that in that crummy experience there is a rocket of desire that is going
off and by understanding that the rocket of desire is the nugget. By
understanding that his life experience is honing out something that is
very powerful. And sometimes you can stand back at a distance while
he’s having this contrasting experience and as he gives birth to a
rocket of desire sometimes you can get a glimpse of the rocket even
though he can’t. And so when your grumpy friend launches a rocket and
you start looking at the rocket instead of at your grumpy friend, now
you’re in a place that you’re helping. In other words, now you’re
anticipating on his behalf.

That’s what a true uplifter does - you let the contrast produce the
rocket and you fixate on his rocket of desire even though he can’t,
because when you fixate on someone you love’s rocket of desire, they are
more likely to find vibrational harmony with it every now and again,
too. It’s like you’re a satellite dish beaming the signal and making it
more accessible to him.

Q: Mm-hm.

Abe: But when you do the opposite, which is to say, “Oh. You’re feeling
crummy. Now I’m feeling crummy,” all that’s happened is that he has
influenced you into a lower vibration when what you want is to influence
him into a higher vibration.

Q: And that’s not what he wants anyway. To bring me down. Yes.

Abe: Last thing he wants. The last thing he wants is to be down
himself, you see. Nobody gets discouraged on purpose. Nobody feels
unworthy on purpose. None of you did it all at once. All of you did it
just one little thought at a time, and you’ll get out of it one little
thought at a time, too. Oh, it is so exhilarating, it is such a gift to
give to a grumpy person (laughter), to be joyful yourself. Because
every part of him wants that, and there is an osmosis that begins to
take place. In other words, you just can’t be around a joyful person
without either being driven to crisis or becoming more joyful yourself.
And in either case, another rocket of desire will be born. In other
words, the crisis just produces stronger desire which makes the happy
person that is around you even more influential.
Think about it. No one can lose, no matter what the circumstances are,
because you can choose this end of the stick and focus upon it, which
means Law of Attraction will embellish and enhance and give you more of
that. Or you can focus on [the other] end of the stick which just means
that sooner or later you’re going to shoot off a rocket of desire. And
so in either case the desire will be born within you, in either case you
will be the fulfilling of the intention that you established. The
question that we are asking here is how long are you willing to stand in
a place of not being a vibrational match to your desires? Why are you
tolerating the uncomfortable vibration?
We want to put it to you very bluntly, and so we will. (Laughter.) Why
are you using your husband as even a temporary excuse to not feel as
joyful as you want and deserve to feel? “I don’t know, it’s just habit.
Doesn’t feel very good, though.”
It’s because most of you have not understood what your guidance system
is, and most of you have not understood that you are wired selfishly.
That you are wired to feel good. You are wired to feel good. But so
many of you think that “now that I’m wired to feel good that means the
rest of the world should stand on its head in order to provide something
good-feeling for me to observe.” And the rest of the world is not one
bit interested in satisfying your selfish desire because the rest of the
world is after its selfish desire, and that’s the way it must be.
That’s why everything continues to evolve. The one-celled amoeba is out
there in the ocean having its personal experience and having its
personal exposure to its personal experience, and its desire is being
born, and in the moment that its desire is being born Nonphysical is
answering it, and that is why it is evolving as it is. That is why all
things in this Universe are as they are. Everything is evolving because
the Universe is answering every selfish desire.

Q: The other thing, what you were just talking about is, it’s kind of
like when I get to feeling so good and I’m confronted with his mood, it
brings to mind the question of since the rest of the world isn’t as
joyous and hasn’t reached that state, how can I feel about being there
myself when there’s…?

Abe: Because you are selfishly wired, and because when you look in the
pile of sticks there are plenty of things you can look at. And because
what you’re saying otherwise is, “How do I have the right to feel good
when there are others who do not feel so good?”

Q: Right.

Abe: And we say you can’t get sick enough to make the sick ones well.

Q: (Laughing.) Right.

Abe: You can’t get poor enough to make the poor ones prosperous. In
other words, that’s not the way that it works. The way that it works -
your only hope in helping anyone is to connect to the stream, and when
you connect to the stream then the Source energy flows through you, and
then whatever you are giving your attention benefits, you see. But you
must be selfish enough to keep yourself in vibrational concert with that
stream before you have anything to give anyone, you see.
You are joy-seeking beings who have come forth into what we see as the
perfect environment for desire to be born within you. What this
workshop is about - we know you could speak it as clearly as we can
now, we’ve said it enough times to you today - what your work is about
is to bring yourself into vibrational harmony with allowing the energy
that is you to flow. And in simple terms, what that means is your work
is to look wherever you stand, whether you are looking in the past,
present or future, your work is to consume your now with the thought
that feels best. With the thought that feels best, with the thought
that feels best, with the thought that feels best. And there are always
choices there for you. In other words, you can look at the hole in the
wall or you can look at the beautiful painting. You can look at the
lightbulb that is out or you can see the lightbulb that is working. You
can look at your mate in his positive aspect or you can look at your
mate in his negative aspect. You can look at your own body and find
something that pleases you or find something that doesn’t. You can
remember your childhood and find something of pleasure or you can find
something that makes you feel discouraged. You can remember a
compliment or you can remember somebody down on you. You can remember
your love or you can remember your hate. In other words, you have that
choice in every moment, and you are the definers of that. You are
focusers of energy, that’s what a creator is. A creator is someone who
stands in their now and focuses energy, and you are in the perfect
environment to do that, you see.


* Abe - L.A., CA 3/4/00
Sail on, Silver Girl!

Lol! That's exactly where i got the nick from! Gotta love Simon & Garfunkel ;-)
Thanks for all of the replies! I definitely will focus on being positive.


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