This is my first post here, but I'm a long time lurker. I finally need to call upon the help of all of you wonderful people here at PI for my own personal dilemma. I'm hoping some of you can help shed some light on the situation I've found myself in and how I can work my way out of it. In case you are uncommon with the British university system (which this revolves around), I will quickly explain it - here in the UK, in the last year of high school, you choose a subject to study at university and apply to various universities for that one course. Your place is dependent upon the grades you receive in the last year of high school. Once you are there, there's not a lot of flexibility - you study that one subject only. My story involves two different degree paths - let's call them subject X and subject Z.
Earlier this year, I applied to the university in my hometown for subject X. It's a wonderful university, has a beautiful campus, and subject X is one of those degrees that nobody can really speak a bad word of - it's very valuable in the marketplace and can get you a high-paying job right out of graduation. It's a little boring and very mathematical (I don't love math) but I didn't care, as I'd rather have something safe. I used LoA, visualized a little and then really let go - I acted like they'd loved my application and I'd be offered the place I want. Sure enough, the university offered me an "unconditional" place, which meant that even if I failed all of my high school exams, I could still go there and be let onto the subject X degree course. Everyone told me how lucky I was. I was on cloud nine.
But then, I fell in love with a guy - a great guy, who studied subject Z. Subject Z was something I was also taking in high school, but I'd never thought to do it as a degree as it doesn't appeal to me and doesn't have the best employment prospects. But I was blind with love. I became obsessed with the idea of us having matching degrees, so I asked the university if they could switch my place from subject X to subject Z. They said yes.
But now I've realised how stupid I was. I threw away a wonderful place at a top school for an amazing degree program for a degree that people just laugh at. I've called the university, but they're refusing to let me back onto degree X, as they say it's oversubscribed and the course is too full. The only glimmer of hope is the possibility of me being allowed to transfer in the first or second week of school (which is in next week!), or to just keep calling them and pleading. I feel so helpless at the moment. I'm trying not to think negatively about my situation, but I feel like I sabotaged my own future. I let one of the best opportunities of my life slip through my fingers, and I want it back.
What would you all do if you were in my situation? Visualise studying what I want? Affirmations? Accepting my current dilemma? Honestly, I'd appreciate any advice at all. I'm usually such a positive and full of faith person but this has knocked me down so much.
Thank you all in advance.
TL; DR - Had a place to study a good degree at a good university but made a mistake and turned it down. Now I want it back and need to use LOA to help!
You now have clarity from your experience, which is wonderful. Nothing went wrong. But when you judge and beat up on yourself for what you did, you offer resistance to receiving the solution you want.
It’s not them, it’s because you’re not a match to your desire. And you become a match by reaching for downstream thoughts that help you feel relief and focus on feeling better unconditionally.
When you feel powerless, that is guidance from your emotional guidance system letting you know you are thinking about what you don’t want and offering resistance to what you do want. Your work, is to soften the resistance by giving your attention to anything that helps you feel a little better.
When you feel powerless, anger is a step up the Emotional Guidance Scale. Anger feels better and more empowering. So, if you want, you can spend a couple minutes focusing on how angry you are about this situation or something else. Then, from your place of anger, you have access to better-feeling thoughts and guiding yourself to feeling frustrated, then bored and then hopeful.
Thank you, Brian. That was a very kind and well thought-out response. I especially like how you said "nothing went wrong" because it made me think that's true...I can just view it as a series of events that unfolded, rather than a catastrophic decision I would come to regret.
I've read Ask & It Is Given and know of the emotional guidance system. I will try letting go of that despair and moving up the scale, but my problem so far has been that it's easier said than done...
Yes, I can delay starting but I don't want to delay my life/education by a whole year as it's not how I imagined things to be. I would love to go on a waitlist though but I'll only find out once I'm at the university.