Let’s say you attracted them today. How would you feel differently, than you do now?
When you can honestly answer, “I wouldn’t feel any different, because I already feel how I want to feel,” then you’ve got it. You are in the perfect place, to allow your relationship. Your work, is to close the gap, between then and now.
You don’t have to focus on someone to attract them, although that can help. Your only objective is to feel better. If you can think about them, and feel better, great. If you can’t, then focus on something else. What you’re focused on, is not nearly as important, as how you feel while you’re focusing. If you have resistance when thinking about them, take your focus off of the specifics of them, and go general with the emotions of why do you want a relationship? And then you allow the relationship that matches those feelings.
“I want to feel loved. I want to feel accepted. I want to feel appreciated. I want to feel valued and validated. I want to feel heard and understood. I want feel supported. I want to feel the freedom to be myself. I want to feel attractive. I want to feel sexy. I want to feel desired. I want to feel passionate. I want to feel confident. I want to feel connected. I want to share interesting ideas. I want to have meaningful conversations. I want to have fun and be playful. I want to feel excited for the fun things we get to do. I want to laugh and be silly.”
The question isn’t, “Can I change their preferences, so they want to be with me?” The question is, “How do I get into sync with my preferences, so I can attract someone who is a match to them?”
You don’t want to be a match to your old boyfriend or girlfriend. You (possibly both of you, but definitely you) have come so far since them. You’ve grown so much, specifically because of what you experienced in, and out, of that relationship. Don’t waste that evolution by reverting back to your old self. You don’t want to be a match to the past, but to who you are now. You now have more clarity than ever before, of the kind of man and woman you want to be, and the partner you want to have. You’re focused on the upgraded version, Relationship 2.0, and not on last year’s model, that isn’t as fast, and wasn’t as packed full of features as this new model is.
The question, “How do I attract a specific person?” is understandable, but it’s missing the point. Because people aren’t really attracted to a specific person, but rather the essence of them. And that essence can be satisfied with any number of people. When you insist it has to be this person, you don’t allow the best, because you’re not being open-minded, and open-hearted.
If you demand it has to be one way, that creates a path of greater resistance, due to the limited perspective of not understanding, you always have access to an abundance of loving relationships, so you end up receiving less than you deserve. It’s not because Law of Attraction didn’t work, but rather, you didn’t work on being open. You were more fixated on limited potential, rather than infinite potential, of the people you would love to be with.
You’re only insistent on attracting a specific person, when you believe in lack. When you believe in abundance, you know there are at least 3,526.5 people who would be a perfect match for you (romantic-wise and friendships).
“I’ve been afraid that my negative emotion is a sign that I shouldn’t be trying to get this relationship.”
No. It’s a sign you are focusing on what you don’t want. You will only know if the relationship isn’t a right fit, when you feel good. Feeling bad will just create confusion.
“Should you text and call someone you want to attract?”
What is your intention? Are you talking with them, with no insistence you need to get together? You’re just talking because it feels good, and no other reason? If so, then have fun with it.
If you’re wondering what to do, or how to act, then your intention is still on getting a relationship, which is an ulterior motive. Talking, simply because it feels good, is not your main motivation. You’re talking in hopes it will lead to something more, because what you have, is not enough. Because of this conditional approach, you will block, or at least significantly slow down, your relationship. Not to mention, you will have a roller coaster ride of emotions throughout the process.
Example #1: “He’s taking forever to get back to me. At first he seemed really into me, and that made me super happy, but he takes forever to respond. And when he does, his texts are so short. ‘Yeah,’ ‘Sure,’ ‘Okay, sounds like fun.’” Give me more!! If you don’t talk more, how will I feel confident you’re into me, so then I can feel loved and accepted?”
Example #2: “When she texted me yesterday, I was so happy! But since then, she hasn’t responded, and now I’m sad. Did I do something wrong? I knew I shouldn’t have said that corny joke. She probably thought it was stupid. Now she thinks I’m stupid. Should I text something new? I don’t want to bother her and seem desperate or anything.”
“She usually messages me first, however, she doesn’t reply after a few messages. I really want to attract her, but it feels a lot like chasing, instead of going with the flow.”
Remember this: “Whatever I get, is enough.”
You get a text: That’s enough. They don’t reply: That’s enough.
It’s accepting everything, and looking to appreciate what you do get, instead of feeling disappointed with what you don’t get. When what you have is enough, then you allow it to become more.
“All I want is to be in a relationship with them.”
That’s not all that you want. All you want is to feel freedom, ease, appreciated, clarity and excitement. But you put your good feelings behind a paywall, of needing the condition of a relationship, or some other manifestation, before you let yourself have all of those good feelings.
“Do I live in the end, and hope they come around? Or drop it, and move on with my life?”
Living in the end is the same as dropping it: In both scenarios, you’re having fun, which allows them to come.
If you need a relationship with them, then you won’t get it. Or even if you do get it, you’ll have a lot of unnecessary issues and arguments, and/or you won’t keep the relationship for very long—either because of your insecurities will push them away, or some other reason they will vibrate out of your life.
When you don’t need the relationship, because you take full ownership of your satisfaction, then you allow it, because you’re one of the rare people who actually lets the other person be themselves (which everyone wants), with no ulterior motives of control. So whether they like you or not, you’re going to enjoy yourself. Which means, you never argue in order to defend yourself or change them, because you accept and appreciate them as they are.
For further guidance, I do coaching calls and e-mails. For more info, see my Profile Page.
That hasn't been my experience. I have never said "I wouldn’t feel any different, because I already feel how I want to feel,” and when making changes I have often found that the way I have done it is firstly by accepting where I am at that present moment (without judgment of it as being right or wrong) and then working out where I desire to be. I do often make changes consciously as to what I feel or what I focus on, but its not from not wanting to feel any different.
Those words are just semantics to point to releasing resistance, feeling better where you are, and focusing on what you want, which we both agree.
i appreciate this alot but somehow it kills all the romantic vibe XD i mean, most people love to think there is THE One, yeah maybe it's just a belief or maybe it's something deeper which has to do with our Soul - i guess you will say this is a belief as well.
“This is a belief as well.”
And you’d be right, ha ha. If it doesn’t help you feel better, it is a disempowering belief.
People put “The One” on a pedestal, and then spend most of the time focusing on the lack of them, and that kills the romance. When they don’t limit their love, and love everyone, they feel more romance than they’ve ever felt in their entire life, every day. This isn’t about limiting romance, but enhancing it to levels you’ve never experience before. You're expanding your romance radius to include more opportunities for fun and appreciation.
Well i agree about most things you said, so you mean we are powerful creators/gods who can create whatever and give the meaning they want to that. However my heart, my inner being feels different about that, it's like the rational mind accepts what you are saying cause all is love, love is everywhere but my heart whispers to me some specific names (like the names of my beloved dogs for example :D and finds total peace & love & bliss & ecstasy with that connection and the innocent genuine pure authentic love we feel for each other.
When you see through the eyes of Source, you feel total peace, love, bliss, ecstasy, connection, and genuine, pure authentic love, with every name you hear.
It’s not downplaying your amazing connection with your dogs or specific people.
It’s emphasizing your ability to have an amazing connection with everyone and everything, so you can feel that way with everyone, and everywhere you go.
OK got it
The law of attraction is not necessarily a technique. The law of attraction yes being a law, it's more like somebody telling you '' You are going to get your ex. You have the qualities girls like. You are smart, funny, interesting, happy, etc...and girls like that. You are good-looking and happy and a woman will love you. And you go out with that confidence and overtime become that person and start to attract it naturally.
LOA is almost the same. Techniques are unneeded. We need to know more about the way we are on the inside not how to use a law that is outside of us. That's disempowering and the fact that The Secret was created in 2006 and people ( the majority) are still looking for how to use it says something.