Someone wrote to me recently, asking how she could stop creating struggle and drama in her life. From childhood she's always seemed to struggle - with money, with work, in relationships - and she was fed-up with the feeling and said she wanted to find the cause, and "get rid" of it. From what she told me, I saw her struggling … to get rid of the struggling. She was fighting it in the same way she had to fight to overcome the challenges in her life. Getting rid of the habit and pattern of struggling was ... well, part of the struggle - another challenge to fight against.
I wanted to share my advice to her here, for others who might find themselves in a similar state. You can't resolve a pattern of struggle or resistance with struggle or resistance. It's like "fighting fire with fire" literally. In order to change from darkness to light, you need to shine a light into the darkness. In order to put out a fire, you need a fire extinguisher (which hardly ever contains fire! ;) ) - in order to change a pattern or habit of struggle or resistance, you need to treat that pattern or habit with the opposite of struggle and resistance. The opposite of struggle and resistance would be acceptance and allowing. It's a tricky concept, and it's natural and human to worry that acceptance and allowing means more of what you don't want... but that's not the case. ;) Resistance has to have something to resist; struggle has to have something to struggle against. Take away the resistance.... and there's nothing to push against... which means that pattern dissolves automatically.
Now, it will usually take time (after all, it's taken this long to become a habit or pattern), but it will work.
How to Stop Struggling with Struggle, and Resisting Resistance:
The easiest (and, I've found, most effective) way to do this, is using the power of unconditional love. There is nothing with less resistance - nothing with more acceptance and allowing - than the power of unconditional love.
1. Use the Superpower exercises to fill yourself with the power of unconditional love.
2. Aim that power at whatever part of you is creating that pattern, aim it at whatever the cause may be. Luckily, you don't need to know WHAT the cause is, you only need to aim it at "whatever the cause may be"
3. Whenever you find yourself feeling resistance or struggle, fill yourself with that power again, and use the phrase "I love the part of me that is creating this experience."
It takes practice. And it takes remembering. But that's all it takes. The more you do it, the more powerful and effective it'll become, and the more often you'll remember to do it. :)
Hope this helps.
Love and Light and Magic xxx