I don't even know what to say,

I am suppose to be positive

I am suppose to be grateful

I don't like my job

I don't like the adminstration, or whom ever set up the pay rate

It is a joke

Legally I am suppose to have breaks, but I most likely can never take them,
cause no one is there to take care of the room

I
it is so drainning

so much responsiblity and no money comes from it

That is what I am so tired of
I am sick of

driving there, gas in my tank, for what?
just to get there again!

what are we all doing, on a treadmill going no where

I am so tired, I worked so hard non stop, no breaks, ran to the bathroom, literally ran and ran back
Dealing with parents

Dealing with Adminsitration new rules
I hate it,

I am suppose to love, it
to let it go

aspects I do love, but not enough of them, to make this worth it

I am over this

they are all morfing into me, talking like me, being all positive
fine I am helping countless people
I am making a difference in this group
I should be making at least 80,000 a year,

Fine, but who is helping me?When my pay check is mere bucks an hour, living at the poverty level

What The heck man?

I mean, why am I doing this
I am doing charity work
What the heck am I doing
I have put in close to a thousand dollars in that place
and so I worked for many weeks for free

I have all these responsibilities, lives in my hand

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I am suppose to be grateful I even have a job?

no, cause this is killing me

and for years I have been intending better

and it has not occured yet

THe pay is such a joke

I love aspects of it

I take those aspects and go somewhere else
that is the only good

it is not worth it

not having a sub, I was spreading myself in a thousand more directions today, the whole darn day

and cause the pay is such a freakin joke


I am angry, upset, I know the end does not jusify the means
but the way life is, work so hard and for nothing, to do it again the next day to surrive
is such an absoulte joke

I am such a great person, really
and I know that does not matter

I deserve more money, not even just a freaking living wage
but to be financially secure

and too many years go by, with the same situation
and I was positive and optimistic,
and I have to be again, to move forward

but man, what I am doing is such a joke
and excpet for the few people that work there, we only know how incredibly hard we work
and for nothing

It is such bologne
I can't, every day, I think I am going to quit, except they still need time to find someone
so I keep pushing myself to go in
If I got paid more, I would not be so upset

how am I suppose to surrive, while other people are benefiitng from me
What

and I can't keep writing here,

I am so tired, so drained, better go to sleep early , after I study,

I have to study for finals as well,

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh