Hey everyone, I need some advice please..
As the title says, I keep comparing myself to physically attractive women.Light skin, light eyes, perfect features.Ive just been getting extra jealous lately.I don't want to change the way I look I just want to feel the ease, freedom and peace of fully loving and accepting myself.Any tips and advice would be appreciated, thanks in advance.
I went through the same some years ago, and the only advice I can give to you is to start loving yourself unconditionally.
If you keep comparing yourself with others you will open a gap between how do you want to feel about yourself and how do you actually feel.
It's really important that you change your focus from jealousy to appreciation. Appreciate those features you like in others, there's no need to actually desire to be like that, appreciation will work miracles since your energy will be a match and you will start appreciating yourself.
I heard once Abraham say when you can appreciate things in others you start attracting those things. What you want to attract is the confidence and self-love, but you project it onto others, even if you don't know if they actually feel ok with themselves. You are in a place of lack, it's like when you don't have money and want everything you can't buy and then, when you have the money, all those desires fade away and you even ask yourself where did they come from. They came from a place of lack.
You can also write lists with the things you like about you, I used to do that a lot, until I was almost on the verge of tears because I started from a place where I had zero self-esteem.
Don't try to move too fast too soon, little by little, when you feel jealous, try to change it, for example: 'I do appreciate this feature in this woman, I like it, even though I don't want to look that way. We live in a diverse world and we are all different and the concept of being attractive is a matter of taste. There's no need I look like the rest because there's something unique in me. I have every intention of appreciating my own beauty and being confident with who I am.'
I hope I've helped you a little.
Lots of women go through this. And believe me, the ones who look flawless all the time are one of the the most insecure ones. I am not calling them out but trying to make you see the truth.
Apart from practicing more self love in general I would look at my daily habits .
Lots of current trends make it likely for people to feel insecure. Yes, you guessed it right, over indulging in social media sites could be one way you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. It is known that people fake so many things, I have witnessed it myself. So you fall into the trap of living up to standards that don’t really exist.
As for the specific features you mention in the post, you can look around and may be find celebrities who look like you. Women with all types of features are known to be beautiful. In my country, the current leading superstars are not even close to our traditional beauty standards and I just love that!
We tend to attach our self worth to things that don’t matter as much,so I would take a look at that. Beauty standards change with time and place. I would put more emphasis on how kind, honest, passionate ( insert whatever you value) I am as a human being .
Since I deleted facebook and instascam, I feel muuch happier! This is so true. Confidence went up by 1000^
Oh awesome! Glad to hear that. Great decision making and implementing .
I did the same a couple of years ago. Best decision ever. It feels like getting back your life.
A lot of people think darker features are beautiful!
Okay so when you compare yourself - you are not accepting yourself at all. You see comparison is always about making ourselves wrong in any given situation, rather than focusing on accepting ourselves. Now like most things, its just a point of focus. When you say you have been extra jealous lately, what is it that you think these women have or able to be that you are not? You see if you can work that out - then you can start to create that for yourself (if you so desire). Often times when we desire to change our looks, its because we think that by doing so we will be accepted by others more, or have the relationship of our dreams, but thats rarely the case.
So whats unique about you. What do you recognise in your own face thats beautiful about yourself? You see when you start to recognise what it special about you - and there is always something we can recognise, then you start to emenate it and become beautiful as a result. Back when I modelled, the really good and busy models had a knack of daydreaming at their refleciton, but I asked a few about it at the time and was rather strict on my judgments and thought it was vanity, but what I discovered was that it was actually a kind of prep mode that they did, and what they seemed to do was really lovely. What this model described to me was she said thank you to all the parts of her face and asked them to be camera beautiful. At first, I thought this was ridiculous but what i know now is that this is actually incredibly about using the LOA to a fine degree. Camera beautiful meant for this woman to have a winning photo within 5 shots (which was her target). For junior models they can have anything from hundreds to thousands of photos, but for the top models, they tend to get an ideal shot within about 2-3 photos. So I found it really fascinating now looking back at that. The thank you and asking her face to change was literally giving the universe a defined order it could work with.
What you are doing is comparing avocados to apples. An avocado can not become an apple and an apple cannot become an avocado. You have to accept who you are, where you are, and what you were given. You are unique! There is no one else out there like you. Appreciate that fact.
If you want to feel the ease, freedom and peace of loving yourself, then start practicing just that. Practice those thoughts daily: I am at ease with myself, I am free, I love who I am and what I have to offer. Keep doing this until it becomes habit and no longer is a question in your mind.
There's a very common belief in the matrix that beautiful people have advantages that lesser attractive people don't. It's so common, even many LOA gurus don't question it. It's one of the hardest beliefs to transcend, rivaled perhaps only by the belief in the power of money. In and of itself beauty is like Monopoly money...it only has value as long as you're playing the game, it's only value is within the game...the game creates the value. The game is always inherently inauthentic (Indirect), because it's essentially doing or being something so that you can get something else. Games are played in the hopes of achieving the status (feeling) of "winner!"And presumably getting the rewards that winners get.
I don't know of any woman who wants beauty just because...she always wants it because she thinks it will buy her something she wants, even if it's just "feeling good about myself". The same reason people want money...so they can get what they really want.
If you look very clearly at what you imagine "beauty" would bring you, or maybe better said, what you think the beauty you're seeing in others is bringing them, and you align with that---what is genuinely wanted---instead of beauty (which is matrix Monopoly), you'll see that beauty, other than what you have authentically, is completely unnecessary to getting what you want. You are, right now, wholly qualified for what you really want. More beauty than you have is only necessary if you want to play the game of beauty, if that makes sense. Again, it's got to be one of the most difficult matrix concepts to see through, but the payoff is huge, exponential. When you see through beauty and money, it will be like seeing the code in the matrix film, you'll have so much an easier time having the life you want. With no games, and that is winning.
It's an amazing truth. But the vast majority of people are not ready for it. Beautiful people don't like it, because they don't like to internally question the validity of their perceived advantage (no matter how much they publicly "own" their "privilege") and lesser beautiful people don't like it because then they can't blame their lack on their physical appearance anymore, dammit! :D