Hi guys. I try not to whine and spread negative energy but I just... really could use some help. I’ve fought depressive tendencies all my life and it looks like the monster finally won. I’ve been having trouble getting out of bed for years now. I lost my job 5 months ago and it has all gone super downhill ever since.
Right now EVERYTHING seems like Impossible tasks. Literally EVERYTHING! Even brushing my teeth. Or making the bed. Or doing the dishes. Forget looking for a job or going to the doctor. I don’t even have the energy to look for a therapist. I obsess over my exes endlessly. I play stupid mobile games all day long.
I still have a husband but who knows for how long. I’m almost 40 and don’t have kids yet. We haven’t had sex in 4 years or more maybe. Heh! Ours has always been a nearly sexless marriage although we both appreciate sex a lot. We do have intimacy in all other ways except this.
NOTHING in my life seems to be on the right track. I have no friends or family so no support system since we moved to the other side of the globe over 4 years ago. My problems got worse after the move tbh. My brain and mind has turned completely against me now and I simply don’t have a single drop of energy left to fight that. I feel ugly and worthless and unlovable and more worthless. My health has gone from bad to worse. I’m in pain ALL the time and new illnesses are popping in my body every few days.
I honestly just want to vanish away right now. All I want right now is to just stop existing. I might not actually ‘do the deed’ but I really honestly won’t mind if somehow it happens right now. I just can’t do this anymore...
I empathize. I struggle with depression and suicidal urges too. My life feels like it's beyond salvaging without tremendous effort and energy, neither of which I possess the will to do. I'm all but certain I'll end my own life eventually.
When it comes to tasks, I simplify them, break them down into as many parts as I can, and complete as many of the parts as possible. Brushing and flossing, for example. When I'm in a severe depressive episode, I keep a travel-size tub of toothpaste, a glass, a toothbrush, and a container of floss near my bed to reduce the amount of energy needed to caring for my teeth. If I only manage to brush my teeth once a day, it's still better than not brushing them at all. As for eating, I'll keep snacks and drinks in my room that don't require dishes. If I've the will to cook, then I make a simple meal and use as few dishes as possible to make cleaning easier. Every little success when it comes to self-care deserves to be celebrated.
I hope your depression lessens soon. Please try to keep fighting.
Hey girls, i have been in that place and i want you to know to you will succeed! River, you wrote that NOTHING in your life seems on the right path, are you sure you are seeing things in the right perspective?!
As you feel very low now all you need to do is breathing, nothing more, your natural love for life will come back, just don't be harsh with yourself if it may take some time. And you need to surround yourself with positive people with vibrant energy, im thinking about a quote right now: You deserve to be with someone who knows your worth and constantly reminds you of it.
Sending love & wishing you both a sunny week! Here are some quotes that could help:
"Mirrors to our soul are there to assist us to better understand ourselves. So that we can do the soul-work needed to further evolve. The universe has its plan whether you are aware of it or not. People meet in right timing. People exit in right timing. And when all this occurs, many emotions are felt both dark and light, until we process through into more awareness. The divine is always guiding, pushing, plodding, nudging even as we resist. The dark defines the light. We are on the planet of dualities --- FEAST OF MEN - story of a woman's heart..."
Yesterday heard one opera video. Line was >>>>> Wound is the place from where light enters within you. So stay positive all of you. It's your journey, you only have to do it. good luck :)
Thank you ever so much. Your kindness and support is very appreciated.
I love these. Thank you so much.
They were quite inspiring and uplifting to read. I'll be sure to follow these accounts.
Hi, i can have a free audio call with you on zoon. both of ours privacy maintained there. you need to download that app, ping me here. I will share you link inprvt msg. If talking can make you feel good.
I will suggest you if you are not talkative , start subliminals to remove negativity. you will get many.
this makes immediate feel good. then keep doing other techniques as u know. self love is imp for u now. and so on......... good luck
Thank you for sharing these songs. They're very comforting.