Hi people, hope all is good and well!
I've been aware of LOA for a few years now and from being aware it has brought certain successes to my life..
Now as of late, I decided to address the issue of finding someone to fall in love with.
I think maybe my current way of living might be jeopardizing me finding someone because I love sex, and I go out on weekends and use all the dating apps to find 'one night stands' and with these one night stands I tend to tell them all I don't want a relationship just so they know that I'm only in it for the sex.
These women I sleep with never are girlfriend material so it never goes further than sleeping with each other.
I think it's now time to find love (I've been in love before)
How do I go about making this happen?
Peace & love!!
Been there, Done that..... Talk to the women you meet. Not at them using lines to get what you wanted but decide to get to know them. A real conversation can achieve that synchronicity that connects two people. I'm not saying you have to delay the physical part but waiting may just make you see more in that person than a one night stand. You can't do the same thing and expect a different result. Change your approach..
I think it's simple!
Firstly I still believe dating apps CAN be used to find love and a lot of women on them ARE looking for love.
Sounds like also a lot of women on them are just looking for sex.
But both types of women are on these apps. All i mean by "types of women" is women who want casual sex and women who want love. (And yes, some women want both but you know what I mean)
To be honest I am on a dating app and I'm looking for love & I make that pretty clear on my profile etc.
You could try different dating sites, for me I'm sticking to the app, I HAVE tried dating sites in the past but for you maybe they might work better I dont' know.
Don't judge your "way of life" that's what you wanted before, just say to yourself, OK now I am going to change my strategy a bit I wanted just sex now I want love.
At least you have always been honest and I applaud you for this, I think honesty is important.
Change your profile a bit maybe, mine says among other things that I am there for dating and open to a relationship with the right guy.
You can use dating apps to find women to go on dates with.
You can also go to meetup groups.
Approach women online and off you DO think are girlfriend material.
Affirm you can find this.
Remind yourself of the guy from the Secret.
He wanted to date a lot of women and he manifested that.
Later he wanted a relationship and marriage and he manifested that. In his case he painted it.
Maybe remind yourself how it felt to be in love and the good feelings?
You love sex, does part of you believe if you focus on love you will be sex-starved? Not true, you can attract a super horny girlfriend who is also a great girlfriend but I wonder if you have this belie?
I'm also entirely on board with everything Brian Freedman and Rogare replied to you too and I echo this.
Change your approach.
Look for women who want what you want.
Consider subliminals to attract the perfect woman/your soulmate etc.
I'm in a similar boat but we can DO this.
let me add it here so that reply is not too long.
As someone who erm uses a dating app (but is now looking for love)
I have some tips for you on some profile changes you can make.
Even if you have an athletic body & work out (which you probably do), keep the shirtless selfies to a minimum.
Some women find a body like this attractive, yes, but also think oh he's ALREADY getting semi naked?
he's only looking for sex.
(which was fine when that was all you wanted, but now it's not.)
Not so many photos with you having a drink or you look like you are a party boy.
Add something to your profile! Some guys have nothing or very little on their profile and I assume they just want sex.
That's not always true but it can look that way.
Even sites like Tinder have had marriages happen (Thank you Brian Freedman for telling ME that!)
I personally dont' want to marry (re-marry!) but wouldn't rule it out. But I'm just saying even those apps can be useful.
You probably COULD also meet someone in a bar, though I do encourage you as I said to consider meetup groups based on your interests etc. It hasnt' worked so well for me, but I DID once get a boyfriend through a karaoke group, actually
I have attracted TWO boyfriends through karaoke!
Clubs are noisier so it's harder to talk, though I did once get a boyfriend from a club.
But of COURSE of COURSE it is vibrational.
it's not JUST about changing your strategy though that's part of it too.
Don't have a photo of you with a woman among your photos on the app. We assume it is a girlfriend or an ex.
I thought it was just me, but I've read up on this, other women assume this too!
Maybe look for women with the body type you want, sure, but not in bikinis etc?
and she is not in lots of party type photos either.
Not saying women can't be like this and want more than sex though.
Some of us even SAY this sort of thing in our profiles, like that we don't hook up, mine says I don't do casual.
So I hope those tips are helpful?
But most importantly, keep affirming that you CAN attract this.
And enjoying life.
Consider sites like Plenty of Fish and OK Cupid that tend to be more relationship-based though like I said I believe you can find love on the apps too and I in the past even got 2 dates out of an app that is literally called a sex app. JUST to see if I could use Law of Attraction to do it and cos I wanted some dates and cos of the immediacy of the app. So it CAN be done. Anyway, I hope some of this is helpful to you. If you work with someone you fancy, think about working on that too!
Sounds like you're a total hottie as a lot of guys complain they NEVER get anywhere on the apps.
So you probably have a sexy face and body etc. It's time to show women more of your sexy personality too.
I think that will help. Start by pointing that out on your profile and saying what you are looking for.
And start looking for relationship-focused women who you DO see as girlfriend-material.
Stop saying to yourself that it's tricky to get this, it's not.
Hi Rugby Guy
You say the people you sleep with are never relationship material but how do you really know that? They could be just like you, enjoying the sex but becoming open to something more serious with the right person.
Something can evolve out of a casual encounter but maybe you haven't allowed it to because so far your expectations (that they are not relationship material) have created your reality.
It might not be your current way of living that is jeopardising your chances of finding love, it could be your current way of thinking. Let's face it you're meeting a lot of people which is increasing your chances of finding that special someone who you click with on both a physical and a personal level, as long as you expect and believe it will happen.
I agree with Ben.. it's not your way of living but your way of thinking that matters. I've had a friend (girl) and an ex-boyfriend that may sleep around for a while and then one month later, boom, they are in serious relationships. It's about taking the time to get to know the other person and making an mental connection. Sex has very little to do with it.
On the other hand I have a friend who is always single (no relationship, no one-night stands), who is always searching for the one, but is way too judgmental about the women he meets ("they are not relationship material", "they only care about my money" etc).
So my advice would be to stop judging the women you meet and dedicate some time to get to know them on a deeper level. Obviously you won't be compatible with all of them, but at least you will be giving them a chance.
If you keep on believing that none of them are relationship material, you will keep on meeting women that you are not interested in. And women that don't see you as relationship material as well. This way, that special click you are looking for will never happen. Open yourself up to getting to really know a few people, maybe go on a few coffee dates for a while, if you think that hooking up holds you back. take care!