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Yes, I want to say something profoundly brilliant now to make her proud and to honor her memory, BUT right now it hurts damnit and I am not going to deny my pain.

She was our friend and an incredible inspiration to us all and she will be sorely missed, to say the very, very least. Can I please have one night, one moment to be pissed as hell she is gone? Can I scream out in pain for the loss I am feeling right now? Damn right I can. Can I question God leaving her children without her? Even for tonight? Can I be hurt that we live in a world that needs more people like her and that instead she is taken away, Does this make me selfish?

Don't you write back some positive response about the meaning of it all because I KNOW. Because of people like Helene, I do understand. I totally get it. I dont need it explained to me about why she is gone or how good it is. If you do write back like that then you aren't listening. Allow me...please.

I just want to be PISSED OFF right now and say it isnt fair! I want her back, For me, for you, for her family. I love her dearly and I will miss her so much.

I'm just gonna sit with this pain. I am going to feel it. Then I will let it go when I am good and ready. 

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I feel you F.p.

My sorrow leaves me with few words.

Sending you love and hugs now...

Absolutely yes you can

You can cry and scream and be angry


I'm right here for you beautiful flowerpatch

here's a great big huuuuge hug for you xx





We are definitely twins, Cheryl...

Thank you for expressing what I feel too. I feel exactly the same. I am devastated...

Thank you for waking me up this night.

I am crying and I want to cry!

Sending you a huge, huge hug my dearest friend....


I am here for you, always...


Sweet xx

I know I'm not supposed to feel sad that she's gone, but I do.

I know I'm supposed to feel happy that she's gone home, but I don't.

I know it's said the good often die young, and they do.

I know I should pretend that doesn't bother me, but it does.

I know I should pretend I'm not hurting, but I won't.

I know I'm not supposed to miss her, but I will.


a picture is worth a thousand words, thoughts, feelings. wow powerful Pat

Hi Cheryl --

There are no words, for the thoughts and feelings are too jumbled.

But All Things must pass . . .

Love you :-)

Pat, you mean so much to me. Thank you...

"Hate to be that positive one to jump in here"

Hi Mat, my point is that it is ok to feel anger, sadness and pain. My emotions are very real and I need to experience them all. It is part of the process. It is not negative in any way shape or form. I certainly do not see you as an asshole, but rather someone who is trying to protect others and preserve the love in our hearts. I think you are amazing and sweet and kind.

IWhat I know and was trying to express is that it is not OK to deny your feelings. It is not healthy to simply take Helene and the friendship we shared with her and all of the feelings attached to that experience, wrap it up in a nice tiny neat package, label it "girl who moved onto a much better place" or"girl who was to awesome for this world" and file it away somewhere.

First I must experience the loss. That is just my opinion. Experience the loss completely and allow it then to pass.

Thank you, Mat, for being you. I can see your heart wide open in front of me and it is filled with love.

I Love you, Matt!  You will never by an "asshole" to anyone here!  You have that same "Love Energy" that Awesome and Flowepatch have, and anything you bring here to us is always appreciated!  :O)  <3


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