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Yes, I want to say something profoundly brilliant now to make her proud and to honor her memory, BUT right now it hurts damnit and I am not going to deny my pain.

She was our friend and an incredible inspiration to us all and she will be sorely missed, to say the very, very least. Can I please have one night, one moment to be pissed as hell she is gone? Can I scream out in pain for the loss I am feeling right now? Damn right I can. Can I question God leaving her children without her? Even for tonight? Can I be hurt that we live in a world that needs more people like her and that instead she is taken away, Does this make me selfish?

Don't you write back some positive response about the meaning of it all because I KNOW. Because of people like Helene, I do understand. I totally get it. I dont need it explained to me about why she is gone or how good it is. If you do write back like that then you aren't listening. Allow me...please.

I just want to be PISSED OFF right now and say it isnt fair! I want her back, For me, for you, for her family. I love her dearly and I will miss her so much.

I'm just gonna sit with this pain. I am going to feel it. Then I will let it go when I am good and ready. 

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Just saw this today.
When did she die?
What did she die of?

I know she has been gone from this forum in long time and then came back.
Since then I haven't been on PI till today..

Anyway it's shocking cause I have seen her alot and she helped me with problems.
I can't remember what she said but only little bit of it.
Mostly because my other account got disabled!!!

Sorry !!

But HEY!
Don't be sad people.
You know she wants us to be happy, she don't want us to cry, scream, and be sad..
Be thankful for all the things she did for us!!!
She is truly loved.
I am glad she used her time to help others here when we needed it..

Awesome you were AWESOME, and still is!!!!!!
She is in a better place now!!! <3 

She is still here, Jill. Helene is anything but synonymous with a void. :) XXOO

p.s. check out this lovely gift from Awesome made by her dear friend, Len


I never knew Awesome passed away, I was away from the forum for so long. I had no idea.

I'm pretty speechless because she was one of the faces that I did see everyday here, I feel like I know her personally. It really sucks to come back here to this, and to know this went on while I was gone.

I have to remember that death does not means the end but it still sucks to have such a wonderful person leave us! I have a pretty notable knot in my stomach now knowing this sad event. But I will keep my chin up and know that awesome doesn't want any of us to be sad! Happiness does prevail even in the face sadness!

I know your feelings too well FP and you have every right to feel that way because we all are only human after all.


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