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energy and something resonated with me but I'm unable to figure it out exactly.  Here's what you wrote:

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I think that split energy, and resistance and getting contrast are often caused by just not accepting where we are right now. Do others agree? And how do we truly accept where we currently are if there is do much contrast around us? Any thoughts?

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Lately I have found myself jumping from activity to activity.  I don't know why I'm doing it.  I'll even read sometimes for just a few minutes before moving on to something else! 

I know that a lot of things are coming from my childhood/early life, I am wondering how to work with these things.

Write back if you get a chance

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All I have been doing is try to relearn to functional and think beyo d my dysfu ctional childhood training myself since I started in this site 11 or so years ago?

Well maybe the thing to begin with is easing up on yourself and your judgments about the past.  Very few people will tell you that they had the "perfect" childhood.  Focusing on what you consider to be disfunctional about your childhood won't help you feel better - quite the opposite but no matter how disfunctional it may have been - there will have been a positive there somehow in some form.  Also just because your childhood was disfunctional doesn't mean that the rest of your life has to be impacted by that either!

I consider my adult life to have been as bad as my childhood now. And I've not made that many strides from studying this stuff. I've still suffered really badly.

I mean, How do I get the Universe to GET  ME INTO A NEUROSURGEON AND FIX MY NECK IF THE DISCS NEED TO BE FIXED? I've now been trying for 5 years!

Thats the very thing though Laura, you are judging and perceiving this whole thing to be "bad".  Don't get me wrong, I get it is a challenge but when you keeping focusing on bad you will always get more bad showing up as a result.  

Studying the stuff isn't always putting it into practice either.  

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