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In these days of stress and tension, it is quite a relief to put a little smile on your face or laugh to ease the pressure. Laughter reduces stress and, therefore, is downstream. Downstream is where you always want to be. Let's share some funny but decent jokes to make our days a little bit more fun. Remember! It is just for laughs.

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A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. 
Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. 
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." 
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" 
"Denise," the doctor says. 
The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" 
The doctor replies, DeNephew.
LOL LOL LOL LOL

SEBASTIAN, YOUR THREAD IS SO AWESOME!!!

How many times I have come here to have a good laugh!

Because it's there it is all about, after all. Laughing, having fun, being happy and joyful! :-)

SO THANK YOU FOR THAT!

Have a wonderful New Year 2011, and tons of good laughs! ;-)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MP

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going out the door on his way to the office. At 10 a.m., the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long-stemmed red roses. At 1 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the candy, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never spent a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my whole life!"


A therapist in a mental health facility had about twenty patients he worked with. He usually prepared his patients to go out to be productive citizens in their communities. As part of the preparation for their discharges, he takes them out to the local zoo, pick nicks, ball games, and sometimes to the movies.  He always addresses them  as “Nuts”. For example, he would say to them during therapy: “Stand up, Nuts!” and they would all stand up. Any command or order he would issue he ended it with “Nuts”. One Monday he lined them up and told them: “Hey, we are going to see a Monday night football tonight, Nuts. Aren’t you all happy, Nuts?” They all shouted “Yes we are!.”  He got them on the bus and drove them to the stadium.  There, the quarterback threw a ball and the wild receiver caught it beautifully so he said to his patients “Get up and cheer, Nuts!”. They all got up and cheered.  The game was going well so he kept saying “Get up and cheer, Nuts!”  One time the quarterback threw the ball and there was an interception, so he said “Boo him, Nuts!” They all jumped up and booed him. The therapist wanted to use the bathroom so he said “I’m going to the men’s room so sit down and enjoy the game, Nuts!”  After five minutes, a guy came around sell peanuts. The peanuts seller shouted “Peanuts!” All those patients got up their seats and whipped out their willies and started pissing on the spectators. The therapist got back and found a big chaos going on so he took them back to their mental health facility.

The old man approached a young stranger in the post office and asked, "Sir, would you address this postcard for me?" The man gladly did so, and then offered to write a short note for the old fellow. Finally the stranger asked, "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?" The old man thought a moment and said, "Yes, at the end could you add, Please excuse the sloppy handwriting."

A family went to a hospital, where one of their relatives would be having a brain transplant. One of the relatives asked, "What will the cost of a new brain be?" The doctor replied, "A female brain costs $25,000 and a male brain costs $50,000." The men smirked, but one of the females asked, "Why is that, doctor?" "Well," the doctor replied,” the female brain is less because it has been used."

Two hotdogs are in a microwave... ( this is going to be corny btw )  Someone turns on the microwave.  They begin to yell, OMG OMG.   One says oh my god, I'm heating up, oh nooooo!  The other one rolls other and looks at the talking hotdog and yells, Oh my god, a talking hotdog!!!

A couple is sitting on the porch sipping wine. The wife says, "I love you."
The husband says, "Is that you or the wine talking?"
The wife replies, "It's me, talking to the wine

2 potatoes are standing on a street corner, how can you tell which one is the prostitute potato?

The one that says I DA HO

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"


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