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In these days of stress and tension, it is quite a relief to put a little smile on your face or laugh to ease the pressure. Laughter reduces stress and, therefore, is downstream. Downstream is where you always want to be. Let's share some funny but decent jokes to make our days a little bit more fun. Remember! It is just for laughs.

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Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants when he went golfing?

Answer: Because he might have a hole in one.
aw man, that's kind of bad.. .but in a good way :-)
IMMORTALITY.....

I recently picked up a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, do you think I'll live to be 80?

He asked, well do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine? Oh no, I've never done either.

Then he asked, do you you eat rib-eye steak or bar-b-que ribs? I said no, I've heard red meat is very unhealthy.

Do you spend alot of time in the sun playing golf, sailing, ballooning, or rock climbing? No I don't, I said.

He said do you gamble, drive fast cars or sexually fool around? No, I said, I've never done any of those things.

He looked at me and said, Why do you give a sh&% if you live to be 80?

COME ON PEOPLE LIVE THIS LIFE!
I went to the book store and asked the clerk, where is the self-help section? She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose...............ouch!
Atheism is a non-prophet organization......................
Why do they put Braille on drive through bank machines? No really, WHY?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word Lisp to have an "S" in it?
A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.
Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, DeNephew.
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem? "Ma'am," the officer replies, you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers. Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-two miles an hour! "The old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time, "the officer asks. Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."
Thank you for giving me a good laugh---tears and all! Thank you thank you thank you! : D
Hail! King THE Tut. Keep it rocking...Glad no actually I am ecstatic about this whole thing of you kicking off this session...so funny. In comparision my jokes would but....carry on:)
HAHAHAHA. It's so good to laugh.
God, I love this topic!!

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