I seem to keep attracting angry, blaming and controlling people. Mostly passive aggressive. They smile to my face and act pleasant but slam cupboards, doors etc, angry tone of voice (bullies) or they stomp around. If I ask them they deny they are upset and get more upset for me asking. And it doesn't matter where I go I always seem to attract them in my life and family members. I tend to be more easy going and positive I am not upset or angry and they don't seem to like that. I have also been doing internal work on myself to keep growing and improving.
I am also sensitive to negativity. I have tried hypnosis CDs and reading positive books but nothing seems to work. It's like they are attracted to me like a moth to a flame sometimes with jealousy. When these people are not around I feel amazing but when they are around their negativity brings me down. I feel like I am missing the lesson that the Universe is trying to teach me and that's why this issue keeps repeating. Do you have any suggestions or what the lesson could be that I am learning?
Like with everything we want to attract, I think two things are very effective:
1. Changing your subconscious beliefs through subliminal affirmations, affirmations in hypnotic state, EMDR and other ways.
2. Spend time daily living in the now. You can do it even when those people are being aggressive. When they do that -really focus on something pleasant in them. I read someone's post, where they said, if your sister is screaming at you, observe her soft colorful sweater...:) Or you could even observe her face without any judgment or labels of any kind. Simply be and observe. If negative feelings rise in you, you can also choose to observe them the same way. What essentially happens then is, that you become a peaceful presence instead of becoming that negative feeling yourself. Negative feeling comes from negative thoughts/beliefs, not from situation itself, so once you put some distance between beliefs/ thoughts and resulting feeling, they loose power over you and dissolve.
Thanks so much for your suggestions. Sounds great!! I will def try them. I am not familiar with EMDR but I will look into it.
You need to feel good unconditionally. You're by yourself, you feel great. You're with others, you feel great. You're in traffic, you feel great. It needs to be your choice. You have the power to feel any way you wish in any situation. It's how you decide to focus.
Right now you're focused on the behavior of others. You need them to behave in certain ways in order to have the excuse to feel good. You're feeling good conditionally. You're putting conditions on whether you can feel good or not. The only excuse you need is the one you give yourself.
Each person is in charge of his own life, not the lives of others. So before you enter the room filled with negative people, feel good. After you enter that room, keep feeling good just because you decided to. Bless their decision to choose to be negative and you be positive. Live and let live.
I have heard of this type of thing before. Imagine that maybe these people would, inwardly, also like to raise their vibration on some level. So, does this speak to why they might be attracted to you, maybe? Just a theory. I just thought of how cats are attracted to shiny balls and in an effort to get them, they bat them all over.
In the past, I have attracted a lot of "crazy" people to myself. I used to say how much crazy people loved me. It would sneak up on me, too. They were glad to be around me and then the crazy started to come out. There is a lot you can try, as people here leave good suggestions. I would say that one little thing that can be a big thing, that has helped me, is to stop using the language of perpetuation, if I may say it that way.
-"I seem to keep... If I ask them... it doesn't matter where I go I always seem to... [etc]." You get the point, right? Would you consider starting your new identity and redefining yourself with some simple tweaks of how you describe your experience? I find that verbage is an important part of LOA practice. As it is your intention to put these unwanted experiences behind you, start mentally speaking in the present to what you do intend. I think it would help free up some space for energy to evolve and more good to anchor in your present. Hugs!
Hi Robb, Hi Char, Thanks so much for your help and suggestions. Because I am so sensitive to people's negativity I am always running and somehow this issue may keep following me until I stand still and face it which is very hard to do because it brings up hurt and pain. Today I tried what Easerfirst suggested by just observing and trying my best not to react and I felt a bit better but I still get stirred up. I live in a basement apartment and the lady above me (landlord) is constantly stomping on the floor, slamming doors and even in her presence trying to intimidate me. It's frustrating having to constantly deal with people like this. It's like they are pushing a button inside of me and they know exactly where it is...lol
Hi Robb, I have been trying to hold my ground with feeling positive no matter what but I can feel my body reacting to the anger with fear and anxiety and also anger so I think I may have to reframe what I am thinking or how I perceive the issue. When people are angry with you and blaming how can you rephrase what you are feeling and experiencing...How can I make something negative feel positive? I am working on seeing myself differently.
Hi Char, So true. Yes, feel this as well they love the light hearted inner vibration I give off and that does attract those people but it also attracts jealousy. Also cats I have never met before are attracted to me too...Ahahahaha....they follow me around everywhere I go....lol I totally relate to what you are saying and I often find myself saying the same things you say about crazy people. That is not said to be negative but just comes from a place of frustration because they are often antagonistic towards me and do not know boundaries and no matter what I say or do they have been clinging to me. It almost feels like part of them likes me and part of them hates me. I went as far as to date someone once unknowing that they would blame all the time and also had many issues so I know is this a pattern of some kind.
I find if I am with other people they leave me alone but if I seem like I am by myself that's when the shenanigans happen and my language is often "Why me" "Here we go again" "Can't I just get a break" "Universe this is not fair" I am going to start fresh and reframe how I see myself. Maybe I can say "Nothing is wrong with this experience" "This experience is happening for a reason" "No one in this experience is bad or wrong" "It's ok for me to have this experience" "Where I am at in this present moment is where I am meant to be" Thanks so much...Hugs xo
You are doing fine, really! Better than you think. It took me a while to figure that out and then things flow better. Just make small changes at a time and keep on the positive step. Let me also say, it is possible to make huge changes, too! Sometimes, even good, big, amazing things sneak up on you.
PS: Please to notice what you are already planning in your replies to our replies. If I looked at your reply a certain way, I would say you just rephrased what you put as your original post. What do you think about my saying that?
Please to let me remind you, that as far as crazy people, I used to say certain things about them, as in the past, my dear. Even small changes like that can make a big difference. Why play chicken? Pardon me for that, embodiment of love. :) Well, I know. In a world where anything is possible because of the awesome possibilities of the what the mind and experience can create, feel free to think of better and good things, in a Bigger way. Once you allow yourself to let go of trying to stuff your mind into a tiny box and let it expand into the Infinite realm of Amazing, you will start to realize things that may help you beyond all the advice you can ever get from anyone else. I, NOW realize, that when I just relax the noose on my expansion, imagination, etc, the ideas that really have a big impact just flow to me. In other words, keep feeling better and better more and more. Soon, you will have so many good ideas. I already sense them trying to peek out at me.
Our Current Belief System = Our Current LOA = Our Current Manifestation
When you take care of your belief system, everything will be taken care of. Check out and see, if this can help you in your situation:
Success Is Our Birthright.
Bullies are always attracted to fearful people, it's like an energy balancing out. I too, am pretty easygoing, but the times I have attracted bullies or cold people, have been times when I have been feeling fearful or anxious. The important thing to cultivate is a feeling of being centred and empowered. Believe that you are strong, they you are a worthwhile person, and believe that the Universe is really helping you.
A couple of years ago, I changed jobs and was feeling a bit nervous and edgy. From this I attracted the 'ideal' reflection, a line manager who was cold, blunt, unfriendly and pushy. I felt very nervous around him and felt like I was walking on eggshells. He kept hassling me to do crappy shifts, at the same time as being gracious and friendly to people who had worked for the company for years, and I decided I wasn't going to have this any longer, but since I was new, I felt that I couldn't really do or say much.
Nevertheless, I asked the Universe to take care of it all, and after a couple of days of believeing in this, things started changing. I got out of having to do an extra evening shift. Then line manager started being a lot more open and friendly with me. Then I got out of having to work on a couple of Sundays. And then he started praising me and being much more appreciative of my efforts.
This was an example of a bulky picking up on my vibes, and then changing when I changed those vibes and started feeling more centred and empowered.
Hi Sir Neil and Dorothy,
Thanks soooooooooo much for replying to this older post. The message came at the exact time I am going through the same things and I was looking for help with the same type of issue.
I have been having some mental health issues where I get so much anxiety and panic attacks that the fear causes me to leave my home then I end up in the hospital it happened now 5 times ...and a year or 2 apart... but the Dr. and family won't listen to me and if I don't take the medicine they will take my rights away to a family member I don't really get along with.
So I am taking my medicine but I have manifest something thats not so good. During the months between when I don't feel unwell I feel good but my family and Dr. won't listen.
What a blessing that you reply again to this post. Wow!! Now that is manifesting. Thank you!! I welcome your advice, prayer and support. <3
Sweet Flowery, i know what you're talking about, i have attracted so many abusive people in my life. Now with the help of some great coaches i have found online im going out of this, it's a process, it's a journey. The fact is if you are an empath (and i think you are) and you have a big light these dark souls are attracted by your light but if you are stable in it they can not affect you. i also follow the teachings of Abraham Hicks and they explain it very differently, they say there are no monsters out there, it's all about our vibration (so our fears, our expectation etc).
However I don't think we have painful lessons to learn, i think we just need to take back our own power and create our own reality as we prefer.
If you want to talk more with me i'd be very happy, so you can always PM me.
Anyway here are some posts of some incredible coaches like Melanie Tonia Evans, Angie Atkinson, Meredith Miller etc, please the captions too are important: