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Hello, for those that know me, i was in a toxic relationship for a few years.  I am out of that now thankfully.  I asked the Universe mid this year for a person who is likeminded etc and i feel i manifested him.  I feel comfortable with him, we communicate so well together, and we laugh and have fun.

We are both taking it slow and that is ideal for me too. 

I am desiring that this relationship CAN work out long term.  I know i am to love myself and do my own thing, less focus on him.  I doing my best to do that.

What else to make this relationship flourish?

I notice i can get so riled up, wanting answers from him, and yet its early days with us. I know i need to relax and flow, feel good.  I have to come to realise i get " Anxiety attachment" which i would like to overcome. 

It is past patterning from previous partner. The not feeling good enough complex, fears.  I know,, and yet still i worry and bla bla unhealthy though patterns bla.

I have moved back to my home state, to another city as well.  Not only for him, yet needed to leave where i was and start a new chapter.

Look forward to your helpful replies :)

thank you

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Hi :) what are you other interests? What do you enjoy doing? Focus elsewhere - Brian’s posts have really helped me! 

There is is nothing else to make a relationship flourish other than NOT holding him responsible for how you feel and connecting with yourself..  I have recently realised how much power I have over how I feel - rather than another person. 

You are wanting reassurance from outside, which shows you’re in doubt and are looking to external factors to feel better - it doesn’t work, I’ve been there. Nothing amount of external advice will change how you feel within. You will need to do the inner work. 

I must re read over Brians posts again.

“I was in a toxic relationship for a few years.”

Why bring up that old story that doesn’t make you feel good and pre-paves what you don’t want with your current relationship? Stop reminding people and yourself what you don’t want.

“What else to make this relationship flourish?”

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You think you need to be doing more than self-satisfaction but there isn’t anything else you need to do.

Thank you Brian, so true, thankyou thank you and you too Amy :)

As always a perfect answer Brian******

I so identify with having an anxious attachment as well.

You can watch on youtube some videos by Mooji (he's soo amazing and he truly helps), here's a really great one No Need To Be Loved - but there are so many others like LOVE(Without Attachment) or No Need For A Partner:


My anxiety is through the roof.  I dont know if its fear, or my intuition kicking in. Just at a crossroads, i just dont know where i stand with him.

Your anxiety/fear creates what you don't want. If u meditate or do anything to calm urself your thoughts will become naturally totally positive again and you'll get all that you want.

Thank you Dorothy :) you are so right.

I have fallen in love. He is what I seek in a guy and we do communicate well. However he has told me he has never fallen in love at all. He states he likes me a lot but no love and we are taking it slow together.

He has the ability to detach too. I desire our connection to deepen and grow. Not feel like it will be short duration. I desire a LTR with him. We laugh, we just get on so well.

I haven't read any of the earlier replies so pardon me if this is redundant...

I think this is where a lot of us get tripped up in our manifestations because we've been trained all our lives to make things "work." But the more you effort, manipulate it and basically try to wrestle it to the ground and kill it, as Abe would say, the worst things get because you're in resistance.

Even with your past (which has nothing to do with your now unless you drag it with you via your thoughts and expectations) you still have unlimited potential and possibility to succeed in creating a satisfying relationship. However, it is your "trying" even when there is nothing really wrong that is causing the resistance that you're feeling.

Really, it's not a matter of how can I get this relationship to be the way I want it to be (which stems from a limiting belief that you can't just have a great relationship because you can without justifying it), but how can I get in alignment with who I am and my desires because it simply feels good? And the answer to that is to click back to the feeling of joy, happiness, fun and such in whatever manner is good for you. Meditating, petting a furry friend, walking outside, excising, being creative or doing nothing etc, etc.

Definitely step back and put that spotlight on you, and not running around looking for answers but in aligning to that "feel good" within yourself.

I hope this helps.

So much love and unicorn magic,

Kai <3


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