Looking for advice on the above subject.
Cutting a long story short, the girl I was dating has pulled back from me after I told her that I liked her and would like to progress things with her. We had been dating for three months. When we were together on dates she was very affectionate with me. In public and in private she would always be trying to hold my hand, cuddle up to me and kiss me. When we were texting she would hint at future dates between us and things like that.
I asked her to be my GF and she said it was too soon. She told me that she liked me and wasn't ruling it out in the future but she has only split with her BF six months ago and needs more time to herself. I accepted that and I appreciated her honesty. I was happy for us to continue to see each other. I would not bring up the question of a relationship again. If she did in future, then we could talk about it.
Before I asked her out she had arranged for us to do something the next weekend. After I asked her out I decided not to contact her for a few days. She did not contact me either. I eventually texted her and asked if she still wanted to go through with her plans for weekend together. I did this consciously as I released that she may feel awkward and feel like she was leading me on if she still kept seeing me so I did this to give her an easy way out basically. I could completely understand if she did not want us to see each other for a while due to the awkwardness etc so that why I did this. She messaged me back saying she was still ok for weekend.
On the day we were supposed to meet I hadn't heard from her. I messaged her to see what time we were meeting at and she text me back to say that she was going to go out with friends instead. I felt quite hurt by this. I thought that was quite a nasty thing to do. I gave her the opportunity to pull out earlier in the week. She could have also made the effort herself to message me herself that day to say she had a change of heart. I felt like a bit of an idiot. I decided then not to initiate contact with her again.
I do still like her. I would really like her to contact me again apologising for letting me down in that way and wanting to see me again. I will take my time with things when we date again. I have been watching videos on youtube about manifesting contact/text for a specific person. I have followed LOA teachings for a long time and I do believe strongly in the LOA.
I need some help with some of the instructions in the video. I do believe that she will contact me but I have the feeling of a knot in my stomach when I think of her, the feeling of missing her. This is obviously putting me off my vibration of believing that I have it already. How do change that? How do I stop my logical mind from having doubts? Also how often should I do these visualisation/meditation exercises? The more I do them the more my conscious mind realises that she has still not contacted me with the outcome I want from her.
I hope this makes sense. Basically I feel my missing her, feeling sad etc is putting me off my vibration of her reaching out to me wanting us to see each other again. The more I am thinking and wishing she would contact me the more I am realising that she ain't around and it is making me have these feelings of emptiness and sadness so I feel as if I am kind of cancelling myself out.
Thanks for taking the time to read and I am looking forward to reading any replies I receive.
It's somewhat a predicament you're in, because when you really want to connect with someone but are unable, you'll tend to feel a lot of negative feelings, like missing, craving, yearning, neediness. And then you're not even able to tell if you actually want to connect with this person for them, out of joy, or because you believe that connecting with them will ease the missing, craving, yearning, neediness feelings. Chicken and egg thing. Do you really want a girl who cancels on you at the last minute, who isn't sure about dating you exclusively? Is this your ideal woman? Or is she just the best option you can see right now? Brutal honestly with yourself is needed here.
It can be extremely difficult to see the larger picture of what you want, when you're projecting fulfillment onto another person. Of course you want her to contact you and apologize and come towards you...because you think it will make you feel better. And it will, but only because you're using her absence as an excuse to feel bad. She's not the reason you feel bad. She just behaved in a certain way that showed you the vibrations you're holding, she's a mirror for you.
Work on feeling better, on raising your vibration, not to get her, but to just feel better. Feel good because it feels good. Feel good because it feels better than to feel bad. I can't tell you how to do that, mostly because I personally always raise my vibration by absolutely feeling what I'm feeling without trying to change it. Like in your case, if I were you, I'd literally just feel the neediness, and the craving, and the urge to be apologized to, and I'd just sit with them until they stopped being those vibrations and just became pure energy again. I never, if at all possible, take any action on an issue from an emotional state that's negative...unless it feels really good to do so! But if you're an action person, you can do things to help you raise your vibration...distract yourself with something enjoyable. Pull back your focus on this one desire, and include other things that are already positive in that new expanded focus.
What you really don't want to do is sit there and try to voodoo this girl back into your life. "I"m going to raise my vibration so she'll text me". You want to raise your vibration so you can be in a higher vibration, and then you'll attract higher vibration experiences, which absolutely could include her, and texts from her, if she matches your higher vibration.
The clinging to a particular person, place, or thing will cramp you every time. Allow your goodness to come any way it does, whether it's her or someone else or maybe both. What if your goodness was going to bring you a prettier, nicer, funnier, sexier, texting-just-the-right-amount girl, and she happens to be someone different? Is that really a show stopper? Isn't what you want, a really delicious relationship that is in harmony? You don't get harmonious relationships by trying to voodoo an apology text. You just get more of the same. You are worthy of sooooo much more. The sooner you can give up that control, and focus on the larger picture of wanting better experiences, the faster your life gets good...really, really good. :)
Thanks for the reply. I would like to answer a few parts I picked up on.
Do you really want a girl who cancels on you at the last minute, who isn't sure about dating you exclusively? Is this your ideal woman? Or is she just the best option you can see right now? Brutal honestly with yourself is needed here.
No. Definitely not. Even if she does apologise I do not think I could ever be in a proper relationship with her due to the way she disrespected me.
Of course you want her to contact you and apologise and come towards you...because you think it will make you feel better.
Yeah it will make me feel better. It will be good for my ego for her to realise she made a mistake. I am feeling hurt and rejected right now by someone who I thought cared about me so her contacting me again wanting to see me would make me feel better.
And it will, but only because you're using her absence as an excuse to feel bad. She's not the reason you feel bad. She just behaved in a certain way that showed you the vibrations you're holding, she's a mirror for you.
Could you elaborate on this for me please?
I am trying to make myself feel better but I am not going to lie it is very difficult. I am hurting. I am struggling to concentrate on my work. I spend my time reading articles and watching videos on how to get your ex back. I know it ain't helpful to do that but I am very intrigued to see if it can work.
I find myself staring into space quite a lot going over the same thought patterns, about how she could go from liking me and being extremely affectionate with me one week to being completely disrespectful and hurtful the next. Just this morning I caught myself thinking like this. I said out loud to myself "Ok stop this you need to get over this" and I literally looked out of my apartment window that second and she was walking past my apartment block with her dogs (She lives a two blocks away) I was thinking to myself what chance do I have lol?
When we were seeing each other I felt really happy. I would wake in the morning with a spring in my step. I would be in a really good mood and nothing would bother me. When I would get a text from her I would feel elated, really happy and secure feeling knowing that someone I like mutually liked me. These feelings don't happen to me often as I don't usually get attached to girls. The last girl I liked like this was three years ago and before that it was five. I am trying to act as if I am still with her to see if I can replicate these feelings so it will raise my vibration but I can't seem to do it. The only feeling I have is one of dread and hurt at the bottom of my stomach.
I am still managing to exercise, eat healthily and see my friends socially but it doesn't seem to be taking away the hurt. When I see my friends I feel jealous and envious about how easy they seem to get into happy relationships and I know that isn't a good place to come from. I really do not know what will happen next. I am feeling really confused and helpless to be honest. Seems to be every time I let my guard down with a girl I like and tell her that I like her I get hit with a KO blow almost instantly.
It isn’t actually difficult, but it really starts with a choice. You see, when we are going through emotions like this, its easy to go into auto pilot. Watching videos about how to get your ex back isn’t going to help you here. Its focusing on your “ex” but it doesn’t actually sound like you were in a relationship with this girl at all. You felt for her, I get that, but she wasn’t able to reciprocate that to the same standard you were.
If you say it isn't that difficult to manifest her contacting me then how would I make it happen? What is the choice it starts with?
Rather than trying to replicate these feelings – which is looking at recreating the past, instead opt for going for feeling good here and now. You see, often times people look to the past as a reference point for the future. So you have decided that was when you were feeling good, and as a result you will prevent yourself feeling even better in the future because you have predetermined that is how “good” feels.
Again this doesn't make much sense to me. I am not having a go, please do not think that its just that I find some of your suggestions contradictory and hard to understand correctly I think. A common LOA teaching I see is to get something you want you must imagine or replicate what it felt like. That's what I have been doing, giving myself the positive emotions I felt when I was with her. If I wanted to manifest $10,000 then I've read that you must feel the emotion of having it, spending it etc as if it is in the now.
Maybe this video can help you someway:
Thank you for posting this. Funnily enough this is the video I have been using but to be honest I have not been feeling it. I am finding it hard to believe to be honest. I am still feeling lack and hurt when practising this. My logical mind is telling me that she ain't going to text me. I am reading the comments on the video saying OMG this works and I just find it far fetched and to easy to be honest. Just feel really frustrated tbh.
Rather than trying to distract your mind, simply feeling the feeling or emotion will often start to transform it. Its something we are rarely taught to do – as we fear that if we feel the emotion it will grow in size or stature, but the complete opposite is true – when you start to feel them, they start to shift and change and transform. How often should you do these visualisation/meditation exercises – well as often as you feel good doing them.
This is where I get confused and frustrated with LOA methods as there seems to be so much conflicting information. So if I am understanding this correctly I should sit and let myself have these feelings of hurt, feelings of lack,neediness and inadequacy based on this girl rejecting me and cutting me off? I have read over and over that you get what you focus on. So me focusing on all these negative feelings isn't going to give me more of these rejection scenarios and negative feelings but actually make me better?
I don't know if you still desire further input. There's this idea that I have come to treasure above all other ideas...the idea of "purify." Not in a saintly way, closer-to-God way, although that's good too, if it resonates in that way with you! I mean purify in the sense of eliminating all that is not necessary for my desired outcome.
An analogy, metal is very useful in our world, for all kinds of things. But eventually it gets rusty or bent or just outdated and no longer serves us in the way it used to. That old metal can get melted down into a form where it's potential to be many many things is 100%. The temperatures at which this happens are so high, it burns out any contaminants, the metal is new again, and becomes something that fits with the current need.
When you're feeling pain, what's happening is there a process beginning...you're in the process of having the 'lower vibration you' melted so it can become the 'higher vibration you'. This process can really only happen consciously, and it can take "forever", because it waits outside of time. See, you're both the melter and that which is being melted. So it requires your conscious participation. So you burn...you burn so you can be something new. It's really not that dramatic, it's just literally working your way up the EGS scale. You find where you are, and you find where you want to go, and you allow the process to happen.
At my vibration level, I am incapable of doing anything except letting the purification process run unhindered. Do I find this process pleasant? Not physically, but since I understand the process, it's much more rewarding to me to let it run and become higher vibration much sooner rather than later. I am neither reactionary nor repressive with emotional pain. Thus my "feeling bad' IS my "feeling better." To someone who is not in the vicinity of my vibrational level, this won't make sense. It will not feel better to them to literally just feel really bad. That's why it's always just stressed "Feel Better." Only you know what feels better to you.
If this girl came groveling back, you would totally feel better. But you wouldn't have been purified of the pattern that caused you to feel bad in response to this particular behavior. So it will happen again. Any momentary joy from wanting her to grovel (BTW that's revenge on the EGS scale), is just so short-lived that it's not even worth it, truly. And f you get your pain 'fixed' by her groveling, then you actually just reinforce the pattern and make it stronger. To me it's not a separate entity "ego" that wants things...it's just a pattern in you that's running. In and of itself a pattern is neutral! Only when you feel pain do you know the pattern is no longer serving you.
So do what feels better. Just feel better. It doesn't matter where you start, just start to feel better. It's a kind of internal orbit, breaking out of a pattern, you keep circling closer and closer with each experience of that pattern, once you recognize it consciously. Eventually, you just break orbiting altogether and head straight for the collision at full speed. Because you know you'll come out better than you went in.
Hey sweetheart the problem of manifesting is much easier than we think it is :))
You absolutely can, it's all about belief systems. Check out Agnes Vivarelli and Veronica Isles!