Guys, I need help. I have a problem, my ex wants me back. He claims I'm "the one", the woman of his dreams, that he cannot live without me, that we make a perfect couple and so forth. I'm confused. The woman of his dreams wants nothing to do with him? What kind of dreams does he have... We broke up, yet he keeps contacting me every now and again. He'll send me flowers, he'll sent text messages or hand written letters. I don't accept his flowers, i tell the delivery person to take them back. I don't answer texts or any correspondence. Months ago I sent a final text saying I do not want to to be with him and to not contact me ever again. He still tries to contact me, he still tries to send me stuff and he still tries to see me. I moved on. I'm with someone else, married and happy. He thinks I'm delusional and will come back to him. If he claims to love me, why does he disregard my wishes? Why does he try to impose his will on me? I'm annoyed by him and at this point really creeped out.
No Apple it's not the same focus. I don't care about what he dreams, I was using sarcasm to illustrate that I obviously cannot be the woman of his dreams since the woman of his dream would want to be with him and i obviously don't. It's also hard not to care about his advances when he pesters me with unwelcomed attention and presence. It's annoying and scary when you go places and he shows up there, tries to make conversation, invites himself over, tries to become friends with other people (my friends/acquaintances) so somehow he can get close to me. Getting calls/texts at 5am on the weekend or after midnight on weekdays. Junk mail is harmless. Annoying but harmless. This guy's behavior borders abusive and stalkersish.
i understand your frustration, and I wish the problem will stop soon for you....
You're right in that it's not love. It's some kind of creepy obsession that he keeps trying. or he thinks very little of you and does not care if you reject him, he will just keep trying because it doesn't even matter that you send the flowers back.
As to the question why you are still attracting this, are you worried about getting flowers again? Do you think about it every time you see flowers at a store, or them being delivered somewhere? That could be why. I really don't know.
I would talk to him one final time. Tell him you are serious and will file a restraining order if he talks to you again, And then file a restraining order if he breaks the no-contact wish you have... That should be serious enough and you will then begin to relax.
The more you attract his attentions vibrationally, the more he will hang on. You have to mentally imagine him going away MORE so than you FEAR he will keep trying to come back!
It's annoying and scary when you go places and he shows up there, tries to make conversation, invites himself over, tries to become friends with other people (my friends/acquaintances) so somehow he can get close to me. Getting calls/texts at 5am on the weekend or after midnight on weekdays. Junk mail is harmless. Annoying but harmless. This guy's behavior borders abusive and stalkersish.
Why not just get a new phone number or block his calls and texts? Why not just tell him you feel you are being stalked and if he invites himself over you will get an order of protection? I say this be you say you feel he borders abusive and stalkersish.
Any energy you give to him will cause a reaction so blocking calls/texts makes total sense. Telling him about getting an Order of protection let's him know you are finished in a way that shows no wavering.
It does not matter what he claims or why, it matters that you find a way that feels good to you to be able to stop giving your focus to it. You do not have to be mean, in fact I would believe I am doing the best thing for me and him.
Those are just examples, whatever action you take will have to be such that it makes you feel better.
Thanks Marcy! That does sound like creation of very healthy boundaries and this way I do what is within my control.
Problem is, I wasn't trying lol
Sorry am having a bit of a giggle here at one poster asking what your secret was to gaining a stalker, which obviously this person is lol You weren't trying hahaha! the irony of that makes me laugh as when I first read your post I was wondering the same thing am "trying" to attract back my husband.
I am on another forum where trying to attract back your ex is the main topic that gets talked about and here you have the perfect answer "stop trying!"
I must have manifested this post today it's perfect as what I had been asking in regards to where I was going wrong with what I am "trying" to attract.
What to do? get a restraining order on him would be my advice.
Or you could go the LOA route and not "try" to get rid of him, there is no "NO" in LOA the more you say no to something the more you will get of it. Universe doesn't understand I "don't" want, it skips past the don't straight to the want.
Whatever you give your attention to, you will get more of. So maybe write a different story of the ex who used to stalk you found someone else and finally left you alone. ;) Energy flows where attention goes.
Best of luck
PS if you like to send those flowers to me I will pm you my address to give to him :D (I love flowers)
It is a really good one!