Ok, I'm a pretty happy person most of the time, I love to laugh and I'm always smiling and thinking of good things, but the only thing that makes me upset is my parents. Literally, NO ONE can upset me (even if they really tried) except my parents.
For the past few days I've been trying to manifest some friends because I've never had any and I've been feeling really good and being really happy about it but my mom and dad start b****ing at me again and my positive vibes just fly out the window.
Anyways, does anyone have any advice on how I can block them out and stay positive? I usually just try to bottle it all inside, and even when I want to say something to them I hold it in (it takes everything in me not to talk). Sometimes my body starts shaking when they're around me and it feels like there's something inside me trying to break out. Idk what it is and it scares me!
Also, do you guys have any advice on how to attract friends who live by the same lifestyle as I do?
I could write an essay about what you should do, but I guess this video says it all.
By the way, you have some really nice lips Zewin.
LOL, that sounds wonderful. Maybe I'll do that next time I'm alone.
And thank you for the compliment, they aren't really my lips but I wish they were
I know exactly how you are feeling. when i was younger my mother really p**ses me off!!! my father also but he does not live with me so i could ignore him most of the time:D
anyway, I would like to say this to you, even if they are like that love them and just smile!!! parents esp. mothers are right most of the time!!! be happy yo have them around you who can give you what you want and nedd others don't have any parents and must try and make it on their own. But sometimes just sometimes you do need to yell your feelings out to them so they know that you do need your space. you will not be a baby forever, but parents have something that even wen you are 0 they still see you as a baby:D I know this NOW!!! because i have kids too!!! funny:D
anyway, say it to them how you are feeling and if they don't want to listen to you then maybe look for someone you can trust and talk to. someone older then you, maybe your aunt or something.
anyway, when they work on your nerves, breath in and out and remember that the day will come that you will leave them and go on your own:D
it takes time to understand and to "ignore" their negatives vibes towards you. in any case, it will stay like that for a while until you start a change and start talking to them!!
about the friends part. remember, you are old eough to see what type of frieds are good for you. you see what friends can do to you but it is you who must stay strong!
what i did is: when i am in my room i danced and "play" a "movie" in my mind. i did AS IF my friends were with me and they all loved me just the way i am. and i was happy and having fun. i played that a lot and before i knew it... i was one of the popular chickies in school. even tough i did not see it as that. but alot of people, boy and girls wanted to be friends with me.
it is all in the way you are. and how you want your life to be. but in all this be sure that you have FUN FUN FUN with YOURSELF and with all the things that you are doing and going to do:D
i hope this will help you a lil'bit. soo have fun:D:D:D
You're not doing anything wrong as such, you just have some behaviour patterns that you want to change. How long can you remember your parents being that way? Is it possible that your happy vibes are really covering up some sad or hurt feelings?
My advice is not to block them out but have a look at how you react to them. Just accept for the moment that they are who they are and behave how they behave without any judgement or criticism. Their issues are their issues, as is their right, so give them permission to be who they are. If they have a problem with who you are then that's their issue too, they raised you and it doesn't make you any less than an amazing and valuable human being.
Stand back and just begin to observe your own reactions and your own behaviour and ask how you would rather be. Begin to work towards that gradually. How they behave is not your problem unless it is to the point of being abusive. At 18 perhaps you can begin to think about moving away from home?
Feel free to PM if you have questions or want to explore more detail.
Another thing you can do when you get frustrated about the situation is to spend a couple of minutes at a time just thinking about things that you like about your parents, especially after the have been b****ing a bit.
Omg you guys. thank you for the advice. I talked to my mother earlier today about it and she said that she was sorry and that she needed to treat me more like an adult now. We had a nice talk :) Now, the real challenge is talking to me dad....idk what it is about fathers, but they are hard to get through to.
@maggielk That sounds awesome. I'm gonna try that technique for making friends since I love dancing and being silly.
@Kahu I remember in the movie The Secret it mentions something like that, appreciating the things you like about someone will bring more of that out of them. Its just hard to appreciate someone when your really ticked, but I can sure do it when I'm calm.
Sometimes with Dads an indirect approach works well. If he sees you and your mother interacting differently he will instinctively adapt :)
PS yes there is some good stuff in The Secret :) One of my friends is in it. There is a lot more to it of course, the movie is just a taster :)
Zewin... how old are you?
why do you think you've never had any friends? that can't be a very good feeling.
but your discussion is asking what are you doing wrong, and then it seems like you're blaming it on your parents?
from my perspective, I wold love it if you could focus on one thing, describe it without changing subjects or deflection your focus.
because that deflecting thing, that blaming other people thing... is the core reason you don't feel good about the number of friends you have, or that you're doing something wrong, or that it's your parent's fault somehow.
some young adults get pretty pissed with me because they think I'm pushing them too hard. And then I just push harder until they see they are 100% responsible for their feelings, or they leave in a huff.
I think if you really want to stop feeling the "bad" things you're feeling, ALL THE CHANGES that need to happen are in you... nobody else.
are you willing to change how you act and especially how you react?
because being more control of that is the secret to happiness, in ANY environment.
you can't change anyone else, it's a waste of time.... parents would teach their kids this, but they often don't know it themselves.
but how we feel, is directly connected to how much a person looks outside of themselves for reasons to be unhappy. If we blame ANYTHING on other people, we choose stay addicted to that state of mind. It's pretty simple really.
kids get addicted to blaming their parents, and anyone else they can get away with blaming.
when we make ourselves 100% responsible for how we feel in ANY situation.... life gets better immediately.
this question tells me, you're probably not old enough to be here... but i'll answer it anyways.
If a kid is being told NOT to watch Tv or go on the computer, it's because their parents have made a PARENTING decision.
If a kid is pouting about a parenting decision, then they should move out.
Parents raise kids 'til their ready to move out. Are you ready? If so, move out, if not, then do as your parents say.. or have a conversation with them about why you deserve something they've taken away.