I made that mistake of engaging with the Universe it can be discouraging. I kept attracting really freaky things through the negative energy I was giving off and it gradually got worse to the point that I started attracting some freaky things. I don't think youtube self-help videos work at this point because I would have to be a higher vibrational match for what they are encouraging me to do. I have not gotten along with the source in a while, in fact I'm angry at it. Discovering and mastering this law after doing some irreparable damage is also hard. At the moment depression looms over me and I have convinced myself that I am evil because of what I have attracted in my life. This is why I joined these forums because I was having an emergency after attracting some really messed up stuff.
Okay you seriously have to look at the words and commands you are giving the universe, because its not a nice order you are placing. The universe is to be engaged with, hell even the planet is designed to be engaged with. You have already stated that youtube videos cannot work a this point, but there are other options out there. Books, authors in their hundreds exist and have written about the law of attraction. You do not have to be a higher vibrational match at all, you simply have to be willing to engage with the material/processes and let life guide you. Likewise you say you have caused irreparable damage, well thats a command you have given to the universe. You keep talking about discovering and mastering laws yet when I have asked you what source you are using, or tools or books you have read you never respond, so we cannot make suggestions without knowing what your current level of knowledge is.
You say you have convinced yourself that you are evil well lets put it this way. If you were truly evil you would not be here asking for assistance or help would you? Seriously - if you need more validation that you are not evil - there it is in a nutshell. Someone who is evil doesn't have cause or concern over their past actions, doesn't have regret over anything they have done - you do.
I want to make up for the years of dumb actions. Sometimes I'm in constant resistance mode instead of trying to make peace with what is. Its hard because I don't like the direction of the Universe so I cant make peace with it always. Trying to manifest stuff when there's a block is a problem as well. But I guess I couldnt be evil if im self-conscious of all of this stuff.
Again look at your words here, because you are creating your future with them.
It wasn't dumb actions - it was simply a choice you made at the time, and you did that based on the information you had at hand. To call an action you did repeatedly dumb is not going to achieve anything. Yes it may seem like that in hindsight, but thats all it and its in the past and over and done with. Your power is in the present moment and if you wish to choose to let your life be dominated by what you did in the past - thats great, but there are other choices available if you so choose.
Being in constant resistance mode is again a choice. Its not hard at all - but you don't desire to do so. You see it can be really easy. Of course you have just asked for it to be hard, and so thats what will happen for you.
You don't like the direction of the universe - thats because you are making the universe out to be the bad guy and you are its victim. Sadly nothing could be further from the truth. This universe always has and always will support you - even when you make choices that bring you dissatisfaction.
Trying to manifest stuff when there's a problem - is only a belief. I have had issues, both personal and medical ones and manifested loads because I knew I could. You saying its hard or there is a block creates just that and so of course you don't get the results you desire, even though you have given the universe that order - you want to believe the universe is against you and you are powerless.
Like I said, you can believe you are evil if you desire to - but its just not true!
The only reason I labeled myself evil was because I thought my negative thoughts attracted destruction to spirits angels etc. Maybe my minds playing tricks on me.
The mind is supposed to be our servant and not our ruler. It does play tricks on us .
When we take back our power over our thoughts and thus guide the mind, it will work in our favor. That is law. Impartial. Universal.
What you are feeling is not an uncommon thing. I don’t know a single person who has it super easy all the time. And regarding blocks, we all have them, big or small, we all do, all the time. Even the most successful people on this planet do. But when you are in a better feeling place you overcome those blocks with love. There is no need to fight them or eliminate them. Your goal must be to feel better and better. It is a step by step process. Anger is a better emotion than depression ( I explained this a bit more in your previous post) So feeling angry is a good sign.
The good part is that you are here amongst people who are willing to help you . Some of us have been through what you are describing while some are still in the same phase as you, or may be worse and are trying to support each other in this journey. It would be so much easier to help you if you would tell us where you stand in terms of your understanding of LOA.
I appreciate what you guys do. I just thought that I attracted so many disturbingly negative things that I have permanent blocks from manifesting my positive desires ever again. Forgive me for my cynicism but that is how I feel with the hardships life has handed me. Much of it is self-imposed but I don't want to be defined by my past self. All the anger, hate attracted so much negativity that I now have lost my ability to manifest good.
you haven't lost your ability to manifest good - you will be able to create things as long as you are living but if you keep affirming that you can't or no longer can - the universe is powerless to say no and will fulfil that order.
I meant that we would be in a better position to help you if you could tell us which books / teachings you have followed so far. I am getting a feeling that your sources have been mostly the self help you-tubers, correct me if I am wrong. That is all you mentioned so far.
You don’t need to ask for forgiveness for what you feel. This is your life and your own emotions, so own them! Your feeling good ( or better) is your priority.
You dont want to be defined by your past.. that is a great decision you have made! It will take some work, just like anything else.
What would you do if you didn’t like the current apartment you are staying in? You would look for a better one and move there. You don’t need to run a bulldozer over your old home and destroy it.You let it be where it is and take all your belongings and move to your desired home! Same is the case with your mindset. But first you need to be aware that you and the house are separate. You are not a negative person . You are an infinite spiritual being going through a temporary negative phase. Nobody has locked you in it, you have the keys to both the houses. Am I making sense?
About losing your ability- there is nothing you can do to lose your ability, you just cannot. There is only one thing that creates everything and that is consciousness and you are nothing but consciousness.
When you mention the other side I assume that you are talking about spiritual beings. Spiritual beings such as you cannot be destroyed, no matter what you do. We are pure source energy. Energy can neither be produced nor destroyed, it is law.
At this moment it may it may not be super easy to completely believe us. Be easy with yourself. You don’t need to be a spiritual guru this very moment. Just do the best you can every day.
I think my biggest struggle Infinity is that through my negativity I attracted the destruction of those on the other side. And it has created this block that prevents me from manifesting and attracting better things.
I hate to tell you this - but you cannot destroy the other side no matter what you do. You are seriously not that powerful - you can't even change your destiny in reality - how the hell do you think you could impact the other side? Seriously?
What makes you think you have done so?
Thanks I dont want to be that powerful. The reason I thought I was attracting negativity on Angels, Spirits is because of the negative synchronicity i have been receiving. Overwhelmingly negative omens, coincidences, signs, and synchronicities. No one wants that power its just having negative synchronicity in my life convinces me of it.
I guess I feel terrible like I attracted something really supernaturally negative due to my thoughts both hateful and obsessive.