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I made that mistake of engaging with the Universe it can be discouraging. I kept attracting really freaky things through the negative energy I was giving off and it gradually got worse to the point that I started attracting some freaky things. I don't think youtube self-help videos work at this point because I would have to be a higher vibrational match for what they are encouraging me to do. I have not gotten along with the source in a while, in fact I'm angry at it. Discovering and mastering this law after doing some irreparable damage is also hard. At the moment depression looms over me and I have convinced myself that I am evil because of what I have attracted in my life. This is why I joined these forums because I was having an emergency after attracting some really messed up stuff.

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I want to make up for the years of dumb actions. Sometimes I'm in constant resistance mode instead of trying to make peace with what is. Its hard because I don't like the direction of the Universe so I cant make peace with it always. Trying to manifest stuff when there's a block is a problem as well. But I guess I couldnt be evil if im self-conscious of all of this stuff.

The only reason I labeled myself evil was because I thought my negative thoughts attracted destruction to spirits angels etc. Maybe my minds playing tricks on me.

Jman..

The mind is supposed to be our servant and not our ruler. It does play tricks on us . 

When we take back our power over our thoughts and thus guide the mind, it will work in our favor. That is law. Impartial. Universal.

What you are feeling is not an uncommon thing. I don’t know a single person who has it super easy all the time. And regarding blocks, we all have them, big or small, we all do, all the time. Even the most successful people on this planet do. But when you are in a better feeling place you overcome those blocks with love. There is no need to fight them or eliminate them. Your goal must be to feel better and better. It is a step by step process. Anger is a better emotion than depression ( I explained this a bit more in your previous post) So feeling angry is a good sign. 

The good part is that you are here amongst people who are willing to help you . Some of us have been through what you are describing while some are still in the same phase as you, or may be worse and are trying to support each other in this journey. It would be so much easier to help you if you would tell us where you stand in terms of your understanding of LOA. 

I appreciate what you guys do. I just thought that I attracted so many disturbingly negative things that I have permanent blocks from manifesting my positive desires ever again. Forgive me for my cynicism but that is how I feel with the hardships life has handed me. Much of it is self-imposed but I don't want to be defined by my past self. All the anger, hate attracted so much negativity that I now have lost my ability to manifest good.

I meant that we would be in a better position to help you if you could tell us which books / teachings you have followed so far. I am getting a feeling that your sources have been mostly the self help you-tubers, correct me if I am wrong. That is all you mentioned so far.

You don’t need to ask for forgiveness for what you feel. This is your life and your own emotions, so own them! Your feeling good ( or better) is your priority. 

You dont want to be defined by your past.. that is a great decision you have made! It will take some work, just like anything else.

What would you do if you didn’t like the current apartment you are staying in? You would look for a better one and move there. You don’t need to run a bulldozer over your old home and destroy it.You let it be where it is and take all your belongings and move to your desired home! Same is the case with your mindset. But first you need to be aware that you and the house are separate. You are not a negative person . You are an infinite spiritual being going through a temporary negative phase. Nobody has locked you in it, you have the keys to both the houses. Am I making sense? 

About losing your ability- there is nothing you can do to lose your ability, you just cannot. There is only one thing that creates everything and that is consciousness and you are nothing but consciousness. 

When you mention the other side I assume that you are talking about spiritual beings. Spiritual beings such as you cannot be destroyed, no matter what you do. We are pure source energy. Energy can neither be produced nor destroyed, it is law. 

At this moment it may it may not be super easy to completely believe us. Be easy with yourself. You don’t need to be a spiritual guru this very moment. Just do the best you can every day. 

I think my biggest struggle Infinity is that through my negativity I attracted the destruction of those on the other side. And it has created this block that prevents me from manifesting and attracting better things.

Thanks I dont want to be that powerful. The reason I thought I was attracting negativity on Angels, Spirits is because of the negative synchronicity i have been receiving. Overwhelmingly negative omens, coincidences, signs, and synchronicities. No one wants that power its just having negative synchronicity in my life convinces me of it.

I guess I feel terrible like I attracted something really supernaturally negative due to my thoughts both hateful and obsessive. 

So your asking me what kind of books or advice I've been using Graysen. Well the answer is none. I recently discovered the Law and perhaps its time that I seek advice from a writer, author, speaker etc.

What author do you recommend  for fears of negative synchronicity. Or trying to get rid of self-imposed blocks when trying to manifest?

I do actually participate in CBT. But in the process of attracting negative things I attracted very negative coincidences and synchronicities. Not to sound like a broken record but that is the source to daily pain. I cant  even breathe correctly because of stress levels.

You could try sampling a few books online and see which ones resonate with you more. 

I am sure there is a thread somewhere on this forum with a long list of recommended books. 

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