Back in late November, my ex girlfriend split up with me due to her general unhappiness in life. She suffers from severe anxiety/depression. To make a long story short, for two weeks after she broke up with me I severely begged and pleaded, and due to the depression medication that I was on myself at the time, I ended up making a comment of self harm to her. It has never been like me to have self harm thoughts in my head. After I made this comment, she reached out to a family member to come check on me but wouldn't reply to me directly. I severely pushed her away with my aggressive begging and pleading/self harm comment. I have since been placed on different depression medication because clearly the old medication was not causing me to act rationally. Since the day of the self harm comment (Dec 8), she blocked my number. A month later, she removed photos on facebook of us, and blocked me on facebook after I tried wishing her a happy birthday. I have no way of contacting her at this time, and will not go out of my way to reach her through other means of communication. She clearly wants nothing to do with me. The last conversation I had with her, she kept insisting that there was "zero chance" of us getting back together. She told this to me as well as friends that inquired about our situation when they heard we broke up.
That being said, I stumbled upon the law of attraction recently and have never practiced it before. I am hoping that by doing this, I can manifest lost love back into my life on her own free will considering our relationship as a whole was amazing. She told me how grateful she was to have me in her life every day and how amazing I have been to her. Even right after the breakup before things got toxic on my end she told me I have amazing qualities in a guy, and she doesnt want it to end but she needs to focus on herself and her own happiness right now. This was all before I backed her into a corner with my begging and pleading and before she told me there was zero chance.
I do firmly believe that she took her insecurities from her past relationship which was extremely toxic and unhealthy (alcoholic ex bf) and brought them into our healthy relationship. This in turn caused her to think that a relationship as healthy as ours was too good to be true causing her to run.
My questions to all of you are as follows:
Is it normal to have doubts in the LoA initially? If so, how did you get rid of those doubts?
Have any of you manifested your ex back into your life in what seemed to be a hopeless situation?
When practicing the LoA is it normal to feel depressed while trying to have a positive mindset?
How did you cope with the fact that you may never get that person back?
How did you take the steps to 'letting them go'?
What was your daily routine for manifesting them back into your life?
Like I said guys, I am not on here to attempt manifest her back against her will, even though from my understanding you cannot do that anyways. I am here with the right intentions and want things to come naturally. Especially considering the relationship was a great and healthy one as a whole before the breakup.
Any advice would be appreciated!
Here is a foundation of understanding emotions so everything will make more sense:
Emotions are your guidance system, which let you know what you are doing with your thoughts and point of attraction. Every subject in life is really two subjects: What is wanted and the lack or absence of it. When you focus on what you want, you feel good or better. When you focus on the lack of what you want, you feel bad or worse. Your emotions are a consistent response to the thoughts you think.
When you feel negative emotion, (e.g. frustrated, overwhelmed, doubt, stressed, worried, etc.) you are thinking of what you don’t want. Whenever you choose to judge anything, especially yourself, you cause yourself to feel bad, because you’re focused on the lack of acceptance, lack of love, lack of support and lack of validation. When you shift your focus to what you want, your emotions will shift accordingly and you will feel better.
When you feel better, you are attracting what you want.
When you feel worse, you are attracting what you don’t want.
Your thoughts create your reality, and your emotions indicate what you are creating. So, for example, when someone doesn’t feel good and they say positive affirmations, but it doesn’t help them feel better, their emotions indicate their thoughts are still focused on what they don’t want.
A common limiting belief people have is emotions come from the conditions, circumstances and other people. Most people make other people responsible for how they feel. This is what creates arguments and most issues in relationships. But your emotions come from the thoughts you think.
When you understand your emotions come from your thoughts, you let everyone else off the hook for how you feel, (and you also let go of guilt, shame, blame and resentment) because you understand you made yourself feel that way, not them. Their perspective doesn't make you feel better/worse, only your thoughts, about their thoughts, creates how you feel.
Recommend you read, “Ask and It Is Given” by Esther and Jerry Hicks.
“Is it normal to have doubts in the LoA initially?”
“If so, how did you get rid of those doubts?”
Caring about how you feel. Deciding nothing is more important than that you feel better and feel good.
“When practicing the LoA, is it normal to feel depressed while trying to have a positive mindset?”
Yes, because you do not understand how emotions or momentum works yet, but you are learning.
You feel depressed as guidance from Source that you are thinking about what you do not want, while they are focused on what you do want. The difference in your perspective and their perspective is what negative emotion is.
Here are several posts I did that can help:
i think that Brian's answer says it all and it's more than perfect. i'll just add 2 great Abraham's videos about getting rid of doubt and resistance and manifesting your ex back and a quote i love (p.s. and it's more than normal that you feel negative after having discovered loa because now all your negative/limiting beliefs are coming to the surface so you will need a little time/practice to be totally positive/in alignment with who you really are and what you really want):
Replace what you have lost doesn't imply replace her, it may mean replace that unhealthy relationship with a perfect new one - with her or with another one.
And i think that if you want her you can attract just her cause after all d Universe is you ;D so what the Universe has in store for you is actually what you have in store for yourself.
So maybe you need more time to practice the positive thoughts. As Abraham Hicks remind us, if a thought feels bad it is not true :) Rumi can also help with this: "What you seek is seeking you". :D
“1) Do lots of visualization of what you want.”
Visualize if it helps you feel better and feels good. If it doesn’t, do something else. And don’t visualize to manifest or make anything happen.
“2) Make your intentions clear to the universe.”
You don’t need to. The Universe is already clear. That part is done. Your only work is to allow yourself to have what you want and you do that by feeling better.
“4) Use a lot of positive affirmations (assuming you are actually positive and not just saying them to say them).”
Again, this goes into the visualization, where you’re saying affirmations for the purpose of manifesting what you want, instead of saying them because it feels better and no other reason.
It’s not about what do you do, it’s allowing it to happen by caring about how you feel and feeling better.
Very Very helpful******
You have a good perspective on this, but I think the most important thing for you right now is to work on finding your own well being independently of her. Manifesting her back immediately will only put you in the same recurring cycle. You can get back with her, in time, but first i think it's better that she finds some well-being (and space will help), and you do the same. Then you can get back and enter into a healthier relationship.
It'll be a new and better version of you. She'll want to be attracted back. But the most important thing is to focus on your happiness and well-being right now.