I know that you cannot control other peoples actions due to free will. I have been trying to visualise and feel differently about this situation but I am so sad to watch my little brother go through such pain and suffering.
He is in a relationship with a very toxic girl, he is only 19 and she is 17. At first she was fine, but then as time went by she started to show herself as very manipulative, lying to everyone about everything, shouting and screaming abuse at my younger brother, making him stay out all hours of the night and sleeping all day, refusing to get a job and expecting my younger brother to pay for everything for her.
My mum let her move in because she claimed she was being abused at home and that her mum kicked her out (turns out this was a lie, her mum told my mum that she was kicking off and staying out late too much, abusing her younger sister and stealing, so her mum gave her a time to be in every night and she kept disobeying her so she lied to my mum so she could move in) they have only been together 8 months, and argue every other day, the arguments get so bad it sends my brother into a spiral of despair and he decides to cut himself or go off somewhere and take loads of pills (so he says) either way it is a cry for help..he claims he cant be without her and that they have been together 8 months and can't not live with each other which is ridiculous, he is so scared of losing her he puts up with anything.
In the end my mum told her to go back home, it was too much for everyone in the house hold, his girlfriend lied and said her mum wont let her go home but when my mum spoke to her mum, it was all a lie and her mum had been offering her to come home for a few weeks. This then made my mum tell her to leave, it kicked off a massive argument and ended up little brother moving into his girlfriends dads place, her dad is a drug addict that doesn't look after them at all. They are still arguing, everything got out of control, my brother even got arrested and this is the lowest he has ever been, he has called me a few times saying he is going to commit suicide and cant live without his girlfriend, but she treats him so badly, she had even said that if he goes home then she will commit suicide or break up with him, which is not fair. They have turned into this disaster of what they call a relationship and my little brother is getting very ill with it all, not washing, not going to work, he has even come home and stolen of my older brother at some points, he keeps making this situation worse for himself but wont make a change. And as soon as his girlfriend says she loves him and will do anything for him, it makes him think they are okay, and then they argue again, its a vicious cycle that doesn't seem to stop. He keeps bringing my mum into it and she is so stressed out she had developed this rash all over her hands and feet where she is becoming ill with stress. They both keep calling her every time they argue, my brother threatening suicide and the girlfriend lying about the argument blaming my brother when really she has caused it ( we find out from her mum as we keep in contact due to the amount of lies this girlfriend tells)
My question, how can I use the LOA to make this better? I have even said to the universe for the sake of my younger brother that if they are meant to be together then help them both heal, but I honestly think she is bad for him, he was fine before this and as they were together longer he went downhill and ruined his life! I am trying to believe that everything will be okay in the end, but I am scared he is going to do something stupid.. :(
Thank you, where is that group?? x
Thank you, I really am trying to be as supportive as I can and be there for him whenever he needs me, but its just this cycle that keeps happening and I feel like I am bringing it into my life. This happened with my old brother as well and now my younger brother. I feel like I have had so much trauma in my family that I subconsciously just bring it to my life now, I have tried and still trying to change my pattern of thoughts to be more positive. I feel like every time me or my mum give her a chance and try to help them sort out the arguments, she lies about something else, so its hard to keep giving them and their relationship a chance and her a chance when she keeps lying to us, we now cannot trust what she says is even true or meaningful. I keep trying to talk to him, he tells me he doesn't want to be with her anymore, and that he knows she has ruined his life, these words came from him, but then he goes running back because he doesn't want to be lonely. I wish I could get inside his head and build his self esteem and confidence so he realises that he is worthy of a healthy relationship and a good life, but self love like that has to come from himself, I can't give that to him or tell him, as I learned the hard way myself, it has to come from him, but I am scared he is too far gone for it to come from himself. I always tell him I love him and will be there for him but he just doesn't listen and thinks we all hate him. We are always reassuring him and telling him we love and support him, but he will not do a thing without his girlfriend by his side. I am worried he will never find the strength to try and make his relationship healthy or leave it. Its destroying him and its very hard to watch someone do that to another person:( x
Hey love from a LOA perspective you can imagine your brother healed and in a perfect relationship with another girl (or this one) and you can manifest this dream of yours. from a more practical point of view make him feel important and tell him continuously that happiness is an inside job, that girl is not d source of his happiness, he has to find it inside and then he will manifest his ideal relationship. in any case focus more on your well-being so you will have a much deeper influence on your brother, focus on joy and you will rise his vibe too. here are some quotes that could help:
You don’t have to protect yourself from anything! In fact, an attitude of protection will surely bring you to the vibration of the thing from which you’re protecting yourself. Because you can’t look at something and say, “Oh no, I’m saying a prayer to protect myself from you,” without achieving vibrational harmony with “you”, whatever you are.
~Abraham-Hicks, Seattle, WA, 7.3.99
Thank you, your quotes are always very uplifting, I think that is what I am going to do, if I visualise that everything will work out for the greater good for everyone's then it will happen. I am trying to focus on my happiness and self love as I know I will be stronger and more able to help him when I am doing better. Sometimes it is very hard to focus on the good when the situation is bad, but it can be done, thank you for your support, I love the quote that says I don't have to be protected from anything xxx
Yes that is very true, I am understanding more that the things that happen in my life I can use for more positive experiences, I am hoping this situation for my little brother will teach him to love himself and become who he is supposed to be and happier! Thank you xx