There is something that I now realize is holding me back. First of all, the Universe has really been amazing this month, manifesting for me. It is frustrating to be so close to having everything I want, because it just cannot be a coincidence that these things are happening. I know the LOA is real! But I still don't seem to be able to get an apartment with amenities I want and new furniture. Some things have been coming up from the past, and I realize there is a part of me that doesn't feel like I deserve the things I want the most because of guilt. I have tried to get over it but I'm not sure if I deserve to get past this suffering. There was a time I had pets and I lived in really miserable living conditions which affected my cats quality of life. There was one apartment by a door that made loud snapping sounds when it opened and closed, you could hear it all the way down the hall, it was a security door right by the entrance where my apartment was. It had a lock it would catch on when it slid open and closed. There was a group of sadistic bullies that would walk back and forth through the door over and over. I thought I was going to lose my mind. It was literally torture. It was fun for them. They knew I had cats. I begged them to stop and they'd just do it more. One of my cats died and I know it was the stress. The other one was so traumatized he was never the same. It went on practically 24 hours a day. They took turns. It was public housing, and they had nothing better to do. That was ten years ago. It went on for over a year. I want to have enough money to open up a cat shelter at some point. I know that I can't change the past and it's not doing my cats who are gone any good for me to wallow in guilt. It's not going to bring them back or undo what they went through. I should concentrate on positive action, helping cats NOW. But the problem is it was my fault what happened. I was a very negative person and I attracted those circumstances. I was responsible for taking care of them and I let them down. How do I get past this? Do I deserve to get past this?
Yes you are ;)
Consider this, could you know that "there" exists unless "there" and you are already One ?
In other words, you could not know of a destination unless you were already "there", else what are talking about ? Our "destinations" are with us always, if they were not we could have no awareness of this exisfence. This is because "we" are inseparable, not 2 separated things, but the same One being , simply named "here" and "there". Our awareness of being knows no bounds, no limits. We are just as easily aware of being here as being there, regardless of the name. How far is the moon, is it further than your consciousness of it ? Is in any other than You ? Nope.
What you are asking is not your battle, it is no battle at all. The idea of overcoming does not bring wholeness, nor completes or relieves.....it is the very divisive idea it would seek to overcome. Understand ?
See guilt over circumstances as an implication, if you will, imagine it as a monster movie. Are you afraid of the monster ? All there is to the monster is the white screen behind it, it cannot harm you. To try to destroy it would be rather silly, yes ? You don't have to do anything with it. The moster only seems scary because of the implied threat, yes ? You understand . And so it is with our Awareness, our Awareness cannot harm us or could it ever, regardless of what we are aware of, for "we" are One. Inseparable.
The monster is really no monster at all, "it" represented who your are not and never could be.... separated, divided against yourself.
an article that could help ya:
That article did help, and I just signed up for the "Notes From The Universe" emails, so hopefully they will be daily reminders of my goal and keep me focused on what I should be focusing on! Thanks for recommending it!
You're very welcome! "Notes From The Universe" is a perfect choice, i totally love it!