I just want to say that I managed to finally put my depression away in what feels like for good, which I'm very proud and happy about. Sometimes, however, I can't help but feel this tug within-- one that questions whether life can really be as easy as new age/new thought makes it sound. Part of me does, especially since there are many living a life where they didn't have to suffer a day in their life because of their positive attitude, but then part of me wonders why I suffered so much and my mind somehow goes to try and justify that. I never really believed in hell or religion all that strongly, I always believed that God loved me more or less until I stumbled upon the Law of Attraction, then all my beliefs went to shit. Being raised a christian was easy for me, to be honest. And if I had stayed a christian, I think I still would have been fine which kind of teaches me that religion is never the issue or the enemy unless it stops serving you.
I have two favourite spiritual teachers: Anita and Abraham through Esther Hicks, and they virtually teach the same thing, 1: because Anita had a near death experience and was able to remember non-physical life and come back with that knowledge in detail, and 2: Abraham is non-physical energy. I hear it all over the place though, that we didn't come to suffer, that we don't have to prove our worthiness, that we are loved unconditionally no matter what, that we were born from a state of grace and cannot be separated from the good that we are from ever, and that there is no death, and when we reemerge back into non-physical, we reemerge into what people want to call heaven, or pure positive energy, and deep down we believe that there is only love, and any action we do that's not out of love is almost like a cry for help and survival. Never in my life have I ever felt unconditional love, so although deep down somewhere I do believe it's true, I still have doubts because it's something I've never touched upon in my life. Part of me still feels like I have to prove myself and get on the universe's good side, and I feel like I can't really live happily until I somehow shake this off. I almost had a fear of loving myself because it didn't feel like it was enough. I don't know if it's because I haven't put enough distance time wise between me and depression days, or years rather, and I know nobody really has an answer, but an unconditional love story or something like that might help.
P.S, if anyone has this kind of fear, you can follow the discussion but please don't reply with your fear since it's something I want to release from me.
It's beyond amazing that you managed to get past your depression! That is a wonderful feat, and I can only imagine how proud you are.
The state of pure positive energy that you speak of isn't only necessarily obtainable in the non-physical life. It is just as obtainable right now. You are still the same entity, regardless of whether you are physical or non-physical. In fact, you are pure positive energy, so I don't think you need to strive to prove something to anyone or anything else. It can be just as, if not more, rewarding to be the best version of yourself, solely for yourself.
I was raised religious myself, so I understand the automatic connection your mind makes with religion and LOA, upon learning about the latter. I understand wanting to prove yourself to God or the universe -- an entity I originally believed to be 'outside' of me. I don't think you have to give up either religion or LOA to believe in one or the other; you can easily reconcile them. I personally realized that God and the universe is not outside of me, because I am the consciousness that is God and the universe.
It is a confusing thing to think about, and I am by no means trying to get you to change your belief system. I just want to encourage you to expand on possibly creating what you hope for in your non-physical life right now, because anything is possible. :)
I wish you tons of happiness and joy :) If you ever need somebody to talk to, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. I know we haven't talked much prior, but I'm always happy to help if you need someone to speak to.
No I completely agree with you. It's, for some reason, hard for me to grasp that God and I are the same being and that I don't need to prove myself after an entire lifetime of trying to do just that. It's so weird because living in a lifetime of hell, you can't imagine it not existing because it was so real and painful. "There is only love" sounds like such bullshit, but deep down I know it's true. It's like, I know these things are true, but I also fight with myself because my beliefs and experiences don't match. I believe there is only love, but then my logical mind says "then why the hell did I suffer so much absence of it?" and you sure know I don't have the answer as to why such crappy things can exist if only love is real. I do want to alter my beliefs, but the thing is, it feels scary. It feels like I'm scared to believe in something that may not be true. Like, what if I believe that I am God at the end of the day, and one day I wake up, or die or whatever, and it's not true? It's like I almost don't believe my good feeling emotions mean anything. Having this active within me, I'm surprised I'm out of depression. It's much harder to hold contradicting beliefs than it is to switch from one belief to another.
I completely understand. It's not easy to expect a present that is vastly different from your past. It takes time and much imagination, but it is definitely a state you can both imagine reaching and experience.
I also get that change is scary. Not only do you have to find deep-seeded beliefs, you have to confront them. It's a life-changing task, but it can be just as rewarding as it seems frightening.
Anything could be true, and everything could be true; likewise, anything could be a lie, and everything could be a lie -- or it could all exist as one. It's helpful to sit down with yourself and try and view the universe with a neutral perspective. Once you try it, it's easier to make sense of both beliefs and doubts.
I understand your skepticism. I've experienced states of unconditional love, bliss, etc, and they are very real. Why don't you prove it to yourself? Why don't you try giving yourself love, and more love, and see if you can feel some unconditional love? When you experience it for yourself, you'll see things with new eyes. Keep it up :) Life is beautiful, challenging - but beautiful.
Another note: not everything "bad" is bad and "good" is good. We can't see the grand scheme of things. Some of my worst experiences have served me in amazing ways. Everything is perfect, so try to see some benefits of anything negative you've experienced. The soul doesn't see things as "bad", it enjoys challenges.
i LOVE this:
Empathetic people - dreamers and idealists - have this sort of accidental power. Most spend their early years ridden with self-doubt, insecurity, and people pleasing habits. But their journey is inevitably derailed when this comfortable life gets uprooted by an unexpected darkness. Suddenly their trusted methods no longer seem to bring them happiness. At first this depression convinces them that thy might never feel joyful again. But ultimately, it sets them on a quest for something more - for love, justice, and wisdom. Once this adventure begins, there is no stopping a dreamer. And when dreamers unite? Well, that's how we start to change the world.
The thing with manifesting and the law of attraction is that you can get super abstract. Try allowing in the manifestation of knowing unconditional love is real and that you love yourself. Try these affirmations on for size "i will one day think believing in unconditional love is possible" "I think it's possible to one day love myself" I know you can do this! I believe in you! Just have fun ! Just have fun with the abstractness of these manifestationns. Enjoy!