Hi, my partner and I discussed last night about a temporary break. He feels he needs space and being on the same wavelength have been thinking about work opportunities, and seeing my mum up north. Our relationship this year has been it seems like the 7 year itch, up and down, turbulent.
I agree with this temporary break. I just would love that when I go back our relationship is stronger.
Has anyone gone through this at all? Any advice.
The only reason your relationship with someone else is not the way you want is because your relationship with yourself is not the most important thing to you. You’re putting someone else ahead of your focus on feeling good. You can use this time to decide that nothing is more important than that you feel good, regardless of what your partner chooses for themselves. You can’t control them, and when you try to, you get into arguments and the relationship feels rocky.
When you accept them as they are, not need them to be different so you can feel better, then you allow both of you the freedom to be yourselves. This requires you to let them off the hook for how you feel. That whenever you feel hurt, or upset, you don’t talk to them about it. You meditate first. You take a nap first. You mind your own business first. You appreciate yourself first. You focus on relief, first. And then, after you have regained your emotional balance, you can talk with them about it. But you don’t tell them to change them, you tell them if it feels good with no instance or expectation of a particular outcome. This is what will lay the foundation for you to have the best relationship full of fun, laughter, joy, passionate and freedom.
How to Break the Breakup Cycle, and Attract the Relationship You Want
Yes exactly Brian. I have been aware recently to let go of control. There was a weekend that it exploded between us, I was remaining calm but my vibration must have been off and he picked up on it.
I am nervous aobut this move back north. I know it will do us some good. I would like to see that it is temporary only, not permanent this situation. As I would like to be living where I am right now with him, in a healthy harmonious way :)
You want to let go of controlling the conditions, and focus more on controlling your thoughts and perception.
Feeling nervous is guidance you’re thinking thoughts focused on the lack of what you want. You want to shift your focus to what you do want, what emotions you want to feel, and you will come back into alignment where you feel unconditionally confident again.
Woops "nervous' thankyou Brian.
Happy New Year to you Guru :D
I do love where I live, lots of nature and close to the beach.
I was discussing more last night with my partner about the situation. He says he wants his freedom to do whatever he wants without bothering me, he wants space. I have noticed behaviour changes in him and I think I know why the somewhat of the cause of it.
He feels us living together doesn't work, and that I put pressure on him to be someone that he is not? I said I don't think I do, I am pretty relaxed. I think he is really mixed up because what he saying and going through wont last because I have seen this all before.
Me moving north, I have felt it will be short term. He is telling me, lets not put any time on this. I love where I live, yes work situation isn't great because very limited work. I wanted to try and manifest my current job exploding with new clients.
Would like to manifest my partner back in the sense he is more grounded and clear minded. Right now he isn't and hasn't been for weeks due to consumption of drink and weed.
All I want is a healthy, harmonious loving relationship. That we can live together harmoniously and with ease. I feel like I am in a whirlwind with all that's happened.
Oh forgot to mention. We both want to save a deposit for land and its just down the way from us. That is why I am heading north for more work to save, and to see my mum.
What my partner is going through is a phase, it will pass, he will come down back to earth and realise. There is pros and cons to this arrangement. I need to have faith it will work out. Still I want the relationship with him, like I did 4 years ago now. He was so grounded and he showed up for me and now its like I am dealing with his alter ego.
“Would like to manifest my partner back in the sense he is more grounded and clear minded. Right now he isn't and hasn't been for weeks due to . . .”
“My partner isn’t the way I want due to my practiced thoughts focused on what I don’t want and keep attracting more, thinking it’s them, when it’s really a reflection of my point of attraction.”
“All I want is a healthy, harmonious loving relationship. That we can live together harmoniously and with ease.”
What do you consider harmony? Him behaving in only ways you want him to so you can relax and feel good? Or they can behave how they want to and what feels the best for them, you accept them just the way they are and you can relax and feel good?
What I’m asking is: Does he need to change so you can have a harmonious relationship?
Well he keeps changing so often, nothing stays the same with him. Its like a phase and then something else happens.
And obviously he has changed that he feels he cannot live with me for a while??? I am the most easygoing person ever, yes there are some things I do not like. I will speak up as this is my home too. It bothers him, when I have asked him to turn the music down or something. So now it feels like I am bit of abother to him, invading his space or some thing.
He keeps changing because you believe that. And since you believe that, he reflects back to you you basing your vibration on him instead of what you want.
Hmmm *scratching my chin* *sigh*
Gotcha for the billionth time.
Change my focus, thank you :)
Happy New Year Brian :)