I have posted previously about how I have been living in a loop all of my adult life. I am 33. Looking back on my life I feel as I have not made any progress. My two main issues are that I have been constantly struggling financially, living paycheck to paycheck, no savings and constantly worrying and figuring out ways to pay my bills and survive for another month.
Living like this has also had a massive affect on my love life. I have not had a proper girlfriend since the age of 21. I have had two girls who I have dated over the last three years who I was really keen on. They actually pursued me from the start but after three months they both dumped me. I have been missing the intimacy of being in a relationship.
As I posted last week I am tired of living like this. I want to be financially free, comfortable and have no money worries or issues. I want to be able to do all the nice things which when I was young I took for granted I would have. The nice home, the children, the vacations, the gorgeous wife who adores me and I adore her.
I have known about the LOA for the last eight years. I have read various books on the subject and watched documentaries, youtube videos etc. I find it really interesting. From what I have read and watched the reason for my unwanted life loop comes from my sub-conscious mind. I keep getting the same results because of how my mind is programmed.
My mind is programmed to think that attaining wealth is out of my reach and will never happen, my mind is programmed to think that because I constantly struggle financially then no good women would want to be with me and take on that life and I also would not be good to be around because I am constantly stressed and worried.
How can I change my thinking and start to believe that I can attain all these things I want if my present is the opposite of what I want? Is it as simple as affirmations and visualisations? I really, really need help to get these two areas of my life sorted, especially my finances. I can not take any more of living like this. I am tired.
IiRC, you've been self-employed for a decade, but it's been a constant struggle, you haven't been able to make it work for you, you're financially overextended, facing foreclosure and possible bankruptcy, and (especially given your negative outlook) that's not likely to improve. You're also starting a new business, which you've already identified as your last chance at financial and professional salvation (which, from an LoA perspective, is already a disaster).
If I was going to look at negative beliefs in this situation, I wouldn't bother with the subconscious; I'd go straight for the conscious negative beliefs you hold against seeking steady, paid employment. Because if self-employment isn't working out for you--or at least not as your sole means of income--the path of least resistance out of your situation is most likely going to be revising your CV, putting word out among your friends and colleagues that you're looking for work, looking at job postings in your field, and getting a job.
Instead, I get the sense that you're desperately hoping the LoA will send you a miracle. But it can't. Not when you have as much negative momentum going as you do. You're simply in no place mentally to recognize or receive it because you're so focused on everything that doesn't work, that you don't have, and the only solutions you can see involve doing more of what you've already been doing, which hasn't worked.
You want out of the loop? It's time to make different decisions from the ones you've been making for the last 7-10 years. You're only stuck in the loop as long as you keep deciding to do more of the same, while expecting different results.
Depending upon what field you're in, you might be able to continue with self-employment on a part-time basis while also employed by somebody else. Or maybe you can do short-term contract work for other people or companies while still being primarily self-employed. Or maybe you'll land a full-time, permanent job that forbids you from also pursuing self-employment in the same field--but actually pays you enough to live comfortably and start bailing yourself out of the financial mess you're in.
I've been self-employed at various things for 20 years now, and am completely aware of how difficult it can be. The reason I'm still here is because I've always had multiple means of earning an income, so if one means goes into the shitter, I've still got others that are doing okay. But there were also plenty of years I took seasonal jobs just to give myself some financial breathing room, and times when I seriously considered getting a day job again because it would actually be less work for the same amount of money.
It's not a failure to say, "I can't do this any more; it's just not working." It is a failure, however, to keep riding something that you know isn't working all the way to the bottom, crashing and burning because your ego, and your mistaken beliefs about success and failure, won't allow you do otherwise.
You're in a negative place, and from experience I know that having a steady income would be a good starting place to begin getting out of it. It would give you some relief, and right now any sort of relief is what you should be after. You can manifest miracles later, when you're in a much better frame of mind, and aren't trying to do so out of desperation.
Consider it, at the very least.
Some words that may help:
"If you spend your life solving one problem after another you will have lived in vain. Energy flows where attention goes---give your attention to problems and they will multiply like rabbits !!! Never waste time fighting losing battles---solving problems is precisely that----It is far better and definitely more fulfilling to stop funneling energy to problems and instead use your mind and Imagination to come up with better and better ways to live each day. See all of the possibilities and pursue them rather than getting bogged down in the muddy ruts !!!!"
"Pouring energy into negative, toxic people and “losing” battles instead of opening ourselves to imagination, creativity and problem solving makes no sense. What could be better than enjoying positive, joyful and happy lives!! Tapping into positive energy — and believing in it — changes everything."
Thank you for the replies. I have been thinking and working a lot on my current situation.
As I said I can not go on any longer living like this and going through this unsatisfying loop. I need to, at the very least change my thinking. I have have hard wires self image issues. These issues are causing me to get the results I keep getting. My main source of lack and frustration is my finances. This has always been the case.
I have it hard wired into me that it is nearly impossible to be financially comfortable and rich. I can never seem to get past a certain point financially, I am always needing which seems an unattainable amount of money to move forwards in my life. For example, right now my apartment needs decorated. I am desperate for this to get completed as I can't have friends or potential dates round. I reckon I need about $8000 to have done to a good modern standard. Although this ain't an obscene amount of money it feels like a million miles away from me and it shouldn't be. This is alp because of how my thinking has been programmed.
I am going about trying to change my subconscious mind. Main way to do this is through affirmations. I have sat today and recognised my limiting beliefs and what I DO NOT WANT in my life and I am in the process of reversing these into positive, already have, affirmations.
Act Like If You're Rich Already - Abraham Hicks: