I've been working on changing my personality to one I see as the real me for the past month. It goes well, but from time to time, there come moments when I act as the exact opposite from that and it ruins my social life really bad. It's something that appears out of nowhere and it's like I'm not aware of things happening while in that state. It's like there are two persons in me, the Real Me and the Fake Me, sabotaging me, stopping the Real Me from living. I need the fake one dead, ASAP. Does anyone know anything that could be done in this situation?
Thanks in advance, best of luck, happy manifesting :)
That's the "fake one".
It seems to appear out of nowhere because you are not paying enough attention to how you feel. When you don’t feel good you act how you don’t want. When you notice you don’t feel good you focus on feeling better.
You’re creating a separation saying the fake you is bad and real you is good. But that empowers the unwanted version by giving it attention. Making peace with it and seeing the value in it releases your judgement and you allow yourself to be more the real you.
Okay so why do you think you need to “change” your personality? Whats wrong with your current personality?
I say that playfully, but its important to look at why we desire to change sometimes. With personality its often because we label a part of ourselves as wrong, or defunct or broke – and nothing is ever so far from the truth. Our personalities are gifts – literally from God. So when it comes to “changing it” its helpful to look at why we desire to change something.
Now words are so important. Please don’t say thinks like “I need the fake one dead” because that’s a command that the universe will follow and all parts of you are valuable and need loving. Our darker shadow sides are just as powerful (if not more) than our lighter sides too. We are a combo of both and our strength lies in accepting and acknowledging both of these for their gifts not trying to kill or murder parts of ourselves or anyone else.
Why do I think I need to change? It's quite simple. I'm not who I used to be. And I was way more stable, happy, powerful, simply said, I used to be better version than I am now. Compared to that, who I was until I decided to transform myself recently, it was some weakened, cowardly, emotionally and mentally unstable me that doesn't love myself. I felt like an immature idiot. I have it all in my mind, the personality, the characteristics, everything, and I'm bringing it to life, but from time to time, there comes that other, inferior version and it's doing everything it can to affect me as much as possible. I know that that inferior is not me, the real me is not even the great one I used to be, it's even better than that and is constantly improving hugely, and that is what I'm transforming into (at least I'm intending to and doing whatever I can to achieve it). The inferior me would only ruin my life, and I'm not gonna allow that no matter what. That is why I desire to transform into who I really am. I don't say that the real me doesn't feel low emotions or that it's flawless, but the real me handles it masterfully. It may sound funny, but it's something like Dumbledore from Harry Potter, a person that's insanely powerful, is aware that he is, but that exact power is what makes him humble and stable, knowing who he is. As I said, I have the entire plan in my head, it's the transformation that has to take place now. The ironic thing is, it's all already inside of me, I should technically be able to just close my eyes, choose to be like that and when I open them, it's done. It's just different aspects of me that I choose to let living or not living, but who knows, maybe it will take time, maybe something will just klick inside of my head and it will really happen instantly, I know I have it all and it will have to come to life, sooner or later.
"Why do I think I need to change? It's quite simple. I'm not who I used to be. And I was way more stable, happy, powerful, simply said"
you are not who you used to be - well none of us are, and in 10 minutes from now you will be different, tomorrow you will also be different as you will a year from now, 5 years, 10 years etc. The simple fact you are not who you used to be isn't really a strong reason for desiring change is it. I mean its really key to looking at why you want or desire to change. Now you say you used to be better than you are now, that may be true. But look at why that is. What was better. You see often we think that way, but until we really look at why or what we think was better, we don't really identify the actual part that we desire to change. Now you mention specifically being stable as a factor. That may be true, but if that's important to you as a goal, you can start to identify ways you can become more stable right here and right now. That's more manageable and more in harmony with working with the universe than desiring to simply change without knowing why or how you need to change. You have labelled it as your personality, and that may be true, but your personality is actually really a strength (but your focus at the moment is like it is a curse)..
Now you say you "should technically be able to just close my eyes, choose to be like that and when I open them, it's done" well that sounds like its actually worth trying. It may be as easy and simple as doing just that, and whilst it may sound easy - actually doing it might seem like a mountain in size of a task but try it out and see what happens. Its like anything, try it till you find what works for you and there is no reason why that cannot work.
Now rather than play judge and jury with your own personality, why not instead accept everything that you are and instead consciously choose to become more of what you desire to be without judgment. You say you know you have it - well that's excellent so its just about becoming it and that is just about identifying the steps you need to take to be it and feel it.
Gratitute for all that the Fake You is letting you experience & understand will bring the Real You back to life.