My name is Michael W. and I'm here to ask some questions and get some guidance.
This person ( a repair teacher, who is now an administrator at another school district) was emotionally abusive. And I still remember him saying one time that I better go to the doctor and get anxiety medication because he would stress me out on purpose and I quote "didn't give a s**t". That's one example. And use intimidation to make himself feel powerful.
This man took pleasure in emotionally abusing students, and he liked to use the term "turning up the heat", and he even made students blow up and hit things. There's so many things that I could tell you, but it would be a novel.
When I was no longer a student in his class, one afternoon I was looking for my bus at the end of the day ( summer school of 2004 ) And I ran into him and he just immeadiately just made a sarcastic comment out of nowhere, which stayed my mind for years.
But not only did this person's words stay in my mind for years, I ended up losing 13 years of my adulthood. Now I know why my life was messed up all this time. Obviously I didn't know any better, but what I did was inadverantly internalized his words and his words unfortunately became my reality, and then because those words held me back from success, it created more and more problems.
I lost my livelihood over one small comment. If I could make an analogy, it would be like brutally murdering and slaughtering someone over a penny. Obviously I'm not going to tell the entire story because it's too wordy and I don't want to keep you long, but there's a lot of things that I went through to thew point where it almost feels like I'm in alternate reality and I don't almost know how to live positively anymore. Just understand I am strong in my conviction. This is something that I have been through for a long time and if I did tell details, then you would totally understand.
There has to be some type of justice and recompensation in my life so I can be free emotionally even though I know things can't be undone.
All those prayer requests asking christians to pray to their to deal with man that I sent back in 2005/06/07/08/09/10/11/12 probably led me to the LOA this year. It makes me sick to think he was at his high position job while was struggling throughout life.
Let me ask you a question. Let's say that you were wronged by someone and it's not just any small wrong. But it was a wrong to the point where it not just cost you years of a livelihood, but relationships with family suffered, you were in a psych ward, on medication, etc....
Not to mention I blame religion for me not letting go of getting justice. I want to let go, but if anything, I just wish something bad would happen to him so I can be free emotionally. That's the result of listening to hucksters like Joel Osteen, who offer false hope about justice. I believe religion was created by evil people in high places to distract from the true spiritual belief, which I believe is the LOA, but that's probably another post.
I want the universe to pay back the person who did me wrong with not only the same thing I went through, but to do it 1000 fold.
Do I have to speak out loud affirmations or can I keep silent?
What do you do to raise your energy?
What I did though is find a picture of him, pasted it in a word document, then I searched out articles where various school adminstrators got in trouble, but what I did was relplace the names of suspects with his name, and relplaced town, states, and counties with names in my area. So I ended up crying, but to me it was tears of relief. But I'm not if that was putting out negative energy. It does say to act as if your desired outcome already happened, so that's why those tears came down. I'll do it again, but I'll try to cry though. I did print out this time and try it that way.
I did read about inspired action. Looking back, before I found about LOA, I recently did take action late last year in December. I went to a library to send this man an email ( walked for a long time because the libraries are closed around my area and plus I wanted to do what I did anonymously to avoid trouble. ) and I sent out that anonymous email to him at his new place of employment and I unleashed 13 years of pain on him ( a.k.a cursed him out something awful with a lot of profanity and vulgar terms, and I do not like to curse at people at all whatsoever and I never sent any email like this to somebody in my life like that.)
And then I emailed his coworkers, superintendent, telling them to watch out and that if anything goes down with him, do not be surprised. And then I deleted the email account I used so that if tried to email back, it would be resent back to him. ( And to the other ones as well. ) I wanted to blindside him with with that email just like he blind sided me with his comment which ended up ruining my life. I hadn't interacted with him since that day years ago, so I bet he was totally taken by surprised if did read it.
I want this year to be my year of justice and vindication. My personality was destroyed and my adulthood forever changed. The universe/God/whoever owes me that much. I don't want everything negative that I went through to be in vain.
I did send out some prayer requests some days ago, but I realize religious people are probably praying to the Universe instead of some so called human like god.
There's probably some things I left out, so sorry if this post looks incomplete. Has anyone been through something similar where you had to ask the Universe for justice for a deep wrong. Thanks for reading and I'll likely be back later.
Well I will to keep this as short and sweet as possible. We share some similarities.
¨Part 1: As a young girl I lived with a true sadist A person who truly took great pleasure inflicting and watching others suffer, but he could also be very very kind and compassionate to people who were not close to him. I can understand when you say you internalised this and your personality completely destroyed. As a young child it is near impossible not to be deeply affected.
Skip ahead many years I ended up being a total twisted mash emotionally and mentally. There was no way I could hold jobs, friendships, relationships. Any shrink I saw washed their hands of me within days. My outer world experience was so destructive I just withdrew completely.
Part 2: I hated this guy so much. He is religious and literally had so many people thinking he was only this sweet old man but they knew nothing of him behind closed doors. It repulsed me watching all these little old ladies bring him pies and cakes. Nobody believed me which made my already thrashed mental state decompose even worse.
I made it my mission to expose the truth of who he was. To show people how cruel he was. I even had horrible dreams of him. That he was hiding behind a religious façade. To make him apologise and see what he did was wrong. I wished lifetimes of misery on him.
Part 3: What I learned for my own personal experience.
He was not one dimensional. There are multiple sides some good and some bad.
It was absolutely none of my business to dish out justice or punishment to somebody else. I did not have the wisdom to know what is best for another or what anybody else needs or deserves.
If I wanted to regain control of my life the focus had to be on me and nothing to do with him.
The damaged, broken me was also an illusion. An internal experience.
I had become a repulsive personality through all of this. Vindictive, angry, violent and much more. Meaning the experience was in control and not me. Instead I chose the traits I would like to embody. Knowledge, compassion, wisdom, strength, respect, equality to treat every single person the same no matter who they are or what they had done. He made me the very best me.
It was time to focus on beautiful dreams.
Part 4: In the end I ended up being closer to him than most. I think possibly I loved him just a little bit more too. Now he is family so this is where our stories differ.
I let go of the past and learned to focus my attention on myself when I was with him. On who he was in the moment. That other person faded away. It was the non existent past that I was still living in.
This is a condensed version.
You want to raise your vibration. You want to be free emotionally. I cannot see how you can do that when you are letting what is outside of you have control. A past reality that quite possibly only exists through you propagating it.
When I saw that he deserved peace and love just as much as me I set myself free.
This is just me.
" I just wish something bad would happen to him so I can be free emotionally."
No matter what happens to him, that will not make you free. See, what he said then to you (no matter how mean spirited) is not what is keeping you slave. It is your mindset, it is you replaying his words in your mind and your memories in your mind over and over again. And memories are not real, they are just a story in our head. look up faster EFT, and change those memories into something more pleasant. That will change your life. You can also do some Katie Byron work on this issue.
Now I am not saying you shouldn't seek court based action, if it is appropriate because of the abuse, but even in that case - you have to let go of those memories affecting your life, because getting even will not help you.
You already got some pretty good answers here, but i'm going to add my two cents.
Resentment is one of the most destructive energies there is out there, if you let it take over. If you let it sit long enough, it can physically change you, it can make you ill. Some of the most sick people I have met in my life, young and old, hold some kind of grudge.
It's a very different energy than your source energy. Everytime you feel resentment, you emcompass hate, anger and powerlessness in one big ball of energy. That can't be good for you.
But I know, you feel like he did you wrong. Like is a terrible person. After all, he was taking pleasure in wrecking other people's lives. But, see, now you are too. You are taking pleasure in watching him burn. You may call it justice, but hey, he may call it justice too. Maybe he was wronged by someone else either. And there you are, perpetuating the cycle. Is that where you wanna be? I am gonna guess... Not.
So, to raise your vibration, take back your power. And don't fool yourself thinking it was stolen from you, you simply gave it away. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, can take from you anything you aren't willing to give, on this or other levels.
And hey, this has a powerful silverlining, you know. This is the chance for you to grow and become what maybe you never thought was possible. This is a chance for you to find out how strong you are, and I'm betting it's way more than you expect. Powerful enough to forgive. Powerful enough to love. Powerful enough to be the true creator of your own life, instead of buying into other people's beliefs.
Focus on yourself. Turn your life around. And (at the very least) forgetting about this guy for a while is the only way you can do it.
Hey thanks for replying guys. Even though I haven't gotten my desired result yet, I still have some potential exciting news!
Just yesterday, I was in my room earlier this morning. Now usually my mom goes to work on weekdays, but she took off yesterday and I was like in my mind "Aw I won't have the house to myself all day today". Long story short, at 2 pm she was in her room and usually she would probably have a court show or talk show playing ( when she's off sometimes. )
Now earlier yesterday, I was looking at the printed thing ( vision board you may call it ) I did with the person who ruined my life and the articles I replaced terms with, and I also printed out an e-book by a woman named Melody Fletcher (before I joined this forum actually) and I was reading it earlier this morning and etc.. And then I looked at the person's picture and started visioning what would happen if something bad happen to him, and then afterwards how I would rebuild my life (like looking through old photos, etc).
Although there's no audio, I started "playing" music in my head that was calm from video games. Then when I was laying down, I heard my mother's TV in her room ( and keep in my mind my door was closed ) and I heard someone mention none other "The Law of Attraction" at least a few times on TV and I was like !!! on my face. Tell me this isn't a coincidence. This all the more reason why I still have faith.
Sorry if this is short, but I'll have to look at all your comments later on. Bye for now.
All the replies here are Wonderful, just add something i wanted to tell you dear Michael. The 'negative' people we met were there just to clarify what we really want. Your vortex - d place where you'll live all your dreams - is full of many positive people, why you wanna lose your precious time with a very troubled soul?!
here are some words by Abraham:
"The Law of Attraction Assembles all cooperative Relationships... So here is this Vortex of becoming—a Vortex that contains all of the requests, all of the amended requests—each and every detail of each and every asking that has emanated from you—and the Law of Attraction is responding to that. Envision this swirling, swirling, swirling Vortex and the power of attraction that is amassed as the Law of Attraction responds to this pure, nonresisted, focused desire. The Vortex is literally drawing in all things necessary for the completion of every request it contains. All cooperative components are being summoned and are coming for the completion of these creations, for the answering of these questions, for the solutions to these problems."
p.s. Melody Fletcher is Awesome!!
Hey guys Happy New Years. It's been awhile since I've posted. I've been through so much since the last time I posted and I don't want to get into that, but all I have to say is that I finally understand everything now so far. I've read quotes about karma and I've done visualizations and the universe has given me so many signs that it's too much to list here. But maybe I'll give some examples.
Credit Karma Commercial
Somebody near me talking about Karma
And so on. So what I've learned is that the offender's words were stuck in my subconscious mind and that's why that reality manifested itself. So I hope no one takes this the wrong way, but what I plan to do is visualize the negative energy that my offender sent me right back to him. This was something that I got from a youtube video.
Please don't think I'm cursing him or whatever, but this started with him. The person in the video said that the negative energy that was put upon me belongs to him and that it is not my nature to be angry and bitter and naturally we're supposed to be happy beings or something like that. I also did a writing exercise to forgive him and I also I realize that even if something were to happen to him, it won't change the past or anything, but I will feel like the scales of justice will finally be balanced. I realize through this 13 year ordeal that this was not my fault and now I'm taking action to fix my life. I don't want to get my hopes up high or anything, but I feel like this year will finally be the year will some type of resolution will happen and all of this will be solved once and for all. I'm going to step out of the way and let the Universe/Karma/etc. handle this person.
That's all I have to say for now. I probably left some things out. Talk to you later.
What I get from this is vengeance and blame. YOU internalized what he said, all he did was be the same psychopath he always was. Did it almost kill you? Apparantly. But instead of seeing how you've come out of it alive and you have gone forward in some small way, you seek vengeance.
Until you let go of the blame and stop giving all your self and power over to someone else, you will tend to bring more dark stuff.