No matter what subject we're talking about, the only criteria to consider is this:
Is it working for you and does it feel good? If it is, excellent, keep doing that. If it's not, then you have to ask yourself if what you're doing can be modified so that it is working for you and does feel good. If the answer is yes, then modify it to suit. If, after thorough examination, it can't be modified, then let whatever that is go and do something else.
The other thing to remember is that it's okay to have something work, but only for a short time. It's okay for whatever you are doing to not be a permanent thing. Change is the only constant, and as long as you are allowing for that change, and allowing yourself to shift along with it, you'll never have any issues. As an example, I've said many times before, every technique works and none of them work based solely on whether you believe they work or not. I say this here so that you understand that it's okay to go for different techniques, until you find the ones that work for you and that you feel good about doing. Once you can let go of the negative belief around any subject, or technique, you'll find that it can work for you easily.
Everything in your life is there because you've allowed it to be there. Decide to only allow those things/situations/people that work for you and that you feel good about, and you'll have an amazing life. Of course, this includes your emotions. It's your choice how you feel in each moment. Are the emotions you're having working for you? Are they helping you to feel good? Using this thought, you begin to eliminate those emotions that are not in your best interest. This does not mean to never have what we call a "negative" emotion. They can work for you and help you to feel good just as easily as a "positive" emotion can. All of this is situational. It's your life, and you're allowed to live it in any way you choose. By going with this criteria, you're giving yourself the ability to choose what is best for you in each moment. =)
Ross - Tolemac
Thanks for this great post.
I wish I had known and understood this earlier. It’s alright now.
We don’t need a rulebook when we have our emotions to guide us.
I think it is cool that you mention how some techniques work only for a short time. I have had several episodes where I jumped from one teacher to another, one technique to other but it felt right.
You are welcome.
We all allow for information when we are ready to receive it. If you had not been in a place of receptivity about this subject, you would not have seen my post. =)
You are welcome. =)
It really does come down to this.
I think that this is so counter to the conditioning we receive that the simplicity of it is lost. Many of us are taught to work hard, persevere, be patient, keep at it, suffer through, and so forth. Because such trials are glorified and at the end there is a reward for you. But it's a myth. There is no reward for suffering and putting up with what you don't want. That makes you bitter and resentful.
But hard work does have it's benefits. You get some results. So if you worked twice as hard you'd get twice the results. Another myth.
I like what you said about whether something is working for you. Another conditioning most of us undergo is that there is only one right answer (i.e. one correct way to do something, one appropriate choice, one best method, etc.) and choosing not the one right one makes you wrong. How silly, but a popular belief nonetheless. I really like pecans. But you like almonds. I'm right, so you're wrong. But if you're right, does that make me wrong? You have superior taste? Or are my facts right? Neither! There is no right or wrong. Preferences are always right. They are idiosyncratic and dynamic. Yesterday I liked pecans, but today hazelnuts taste the best.
The way that works for you, what feels good, and that is allowed, it's only hard because we're not used to it. Our conditioning has been into different beliefs and methods. I'm comfortable with change now. When I was a teenager girl what others thought about me was so important. I'm glad I changed that belief and I'm happy to change more for those that work better for me.
Thank you for this reminder.
I really appreciate this post, thank you. As a child I was told i never stuck at anything, a belief i took with me for years as being negative. It has taken me a long time to understand that actually it's a positive! So- i danced for a while, i enjoyed it. I did Karate for a while, I enjoyed that. On occasions I did drama classes, sometimes I enjoyed that. All of these things fizzled out and that's ok, I tried them and then stopped, not because I couldn't stick at them, not because I wasn't going to be top of the class, but because they didn't feel good after a while.
I am always worrying about my future and always have negative thought. How to eliminate it?
Ross I came backtoeispired!